Citation: Etazhi. "Powdered Nostalgia & Antidepressant: An Experience with MXiPr & DMXE (exp115940)". Erowid.org. Dec 11, 2021. erowid.org/exp/115940
||(powder / crystals)
||(powder / crystals)
[Part of this report may be describing an experience also described in Report #115934
by the same author.]
The following is my collection of experiences with these two similar but distinct chemicals. First I'll discuss my experiences with MXiPR.
I got ahold of this chemical for the first time after hearing about it in my discord full of degenerate researchers. They said chemically its similar to MXE, and it was touted to be fairly good replacement by some select MXE nostalgia freaks.
So I picked up a gram with my next gambit of chemicals. It arrived a painstaking 5 months later due to my specific vendors awful shipping times. Most other vendors took around 2 weeks at most for overseas orders.
I took the bag to my room and one night, on my nights off I weighed out 100mg, unsure of a starting dose. (Note this is a lot, and likely only spared me from mania due to my tolerance from binging dissociatives the days prior) I stared at the strange smelling, tan powder contrasting against the black mirrored screen of my phone.
ďWhat would this be likeĒ I thought to myself while looking at this chemical. Was it going to be a pcp like or ketamine like disso? Something entirely unique? Well only one way to find out.
I insufflated the line of chalky powder and felt as it slightly irritated and burned my nasal cavities. Something that persisted for a week after, suggesting some causticity in these batches. Or inherent to the chemical.
The drip tasted strange but is more manageable than ketamine. Its really indescribable but itís a unique and distinct chalky chemically taste. I took a sniff to clear my nostrils and I felt it hit my nasal membrane. My fucking god, the euphoria that hit is unmatched. Seriously I've tried opiates from hydros, oxys and heroin (heroin I rarely touch however) cocaine, amphetamines, MDMA, MDA, 5MAPB, and so many more staple drugs for euphorants.
It was as if this warm feeling of pure joyous energy radiated from the center of my forehead, eventually wrapping around my entire head like a warm towel of pure warmth and love. I just sat there wowed by the amazing feeling I'd gotten ever from a drug. It was extremely therapeutic as I just sat there and began evaluating my life up to this point. What was I doing shoving all these tentative substances and why was I wasting away precious time in my life? Then I seemingly automatically answered my question: ďto process trauma, to escape the harsh reality of the world and to protect your psyche from the madness of the current pandemic. So here, I give you a way to healĒ.
I just sat in awe again, I opened my eyes again and put on youtube to put on music from my younger days to envoke a nostalgic feeling. I closed them again and vivid imaginary images of my past came flooding in. Traumas and painful experiences, victories and triumphs, the mundane and the bizzare. All flooding in like whatever dam I built to hold back the flow of these memories into usual thought so it can be processed by the brain to heal from it. This dam I had built had prevented that and MXiPR was like dynamite to that defensive dam.
I quite literally cried, I cried tears of joy, tears of pain, and tears of unknown emotional content. It was quite possibly the most therapeutic time I ever had. All this peaked about 2 hours in and the next 3 hours was just coming down from the experience and processing it. Taking in my past experiences.
That was mind blowing, the first time got me going back a few weeks later. It felt just as warm, I couldnít wait to re experience such an amazing feeling.
I tried it again maybe a month later. This time it was not as strong due to using 75mg instead of 100 due to my lowered tolerance. This time it hit a bit faster. Possibly because my sinuses were a bit clearer.
This experience I remember a bit more. I had put on a youtube playlist with space visuals but got bored, so I changed it to playing a video game. If I remember correctly it was a shooter but I honestly donít remember much beyond that I was doing extremely well while playing. Getting good k/d ratios each game.
I fell asleep the next, and not much more happened the second time. I did wake up the next day however with a noticable afterglow that lasted into the next day.
Another very notable effect with MXiPR is that during the extremely warm effects, I get a nostalgic feeling. I donít know if this is because of the nature of memories or this chemical triggers the same parts of the brain responsible for the feeling of nostalgia.
I cannot forget to emphasize just how strong the antidepressant effects are of these chemicals. I feel so much better after doing it, for much longer than ketamineís antidepressant effect. Whereas ketamine lasts around 3 days to a week, mxipr lasts a week or longer, a few times lasting 2 weeks for me. One is not manic like PCP either, one is extremely grounded as most of the time the chemical is fairly clear headed so it isnít debilitating mentally.
The next chemical I got a hold of was DMXE, it was available from a domestic vendor in my country this time so it arrived within a few days.
I was eager to try a chemical more closely related (at least from what I thought at the time) to MXE.
It arrives and it is a noticeably similar colour to MXiPR, which has a whiter colour than DMXE, which is noticeably more yellow. DMXE was not scented like Pokťmon cards but can only be explained as slightly pickled or dilled. Though not disgustingly so.
I took 50mg and sniffed it, I felt a nice effect but knew I could go further, so I went to 100mg. It wasnít as strong as MXiPR thatís for sure, but it is its own little fantastic chemical. Very similar in experience but a lot more gentle than MXiPR. That same warm towel of euphoria wrapping around my head returned once more but not as pronounced. But enough to be enjoyable. Again another flow of nostalgic memories flooded in. This time a bit more vivid in my mental imagery. My nose burned a bit and remained irritated and was actually enough to interrupt the experience somewhat. But after a while my nose went slightly numb and the burn became bearable.
I remember the next and last time I've done this chemical, which was the last time Iíve done either chems, was a rather hectic one. I decided to combine it with 4 ACO DMT, at 25 mg 4 ACO, and 200mg of DMXE due to a tolerance I had at the time.
I railed it and was sent into a hole almost immediately. But then I had the worst thing happen, my grandma called. I answered it and began talking with her as I entered the hole. For a while I could keep my composure but in the middle of it I remember being so high I couldnít even speak correctly, my words were slurred heavily. I was struggling to get the words out at all since I was so dissociated.
She then hung up around 45 minutes in and I just reach my peak after. I am relieved and am able to take in the effects. I still am confused at this point however and am holing, so I am stuck unable to properly do anything. It was like a k hole somewhat but a bit more lucid, yet still as confusing at times.
I honestly cant add much more to this last experience as I donít remember much beyond the initial come up to the peak. Its possible that I had fallen asleep but I honestly donít remember.
In conclusion, these are great chemicals. I want to create tablets or nasal spray and patent it as an antidepressant. My god does it work so well at that aspect.
I plan to try to combine these with ketamine and other psychs do get that spiritual experience.
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