DOSE:

1 - 2 mg

oral

Pharms - Lorazepam

(pill / tablet)

BODY WEIGHT:

160 lb

I took a standard dose by (2 mg, I think) mouth a few months ago in a misguided attempt to snap myself out of a bad bout of anxiety. It's one of the worst decisions of my life.

Lorazepam annihilated my anxiety, temporarily, but at too great a cost. I felt no interest in anything for weeks. It stripped parenting, work, sex, etc, of their joy. I didn't get a healthy, waking erection for weeks; not because lorazepam/Ativan did anything to me physically, but because it revealed to me the depths of emptiness I can feel when I mess with my neurochemistry the wrong way under the wrong conditions. I would have gladly exchanged this experience for some horrifying trip, or healthy grief, or an exacerbation of my original symptoms.

This is still a bit of a puzzle to me. But long after the chemical effects have worn off, the aftershocks still affect me. I was going through some "life stuff" at the time I dosed, and rather than providing me the reset I'd been seeking, it tipped me into a state of ennui, depression and sexual disinterest. Weirdly, it was like a completely inverted version of the joyful afterglow I've had after a couple of good LSD trips.

Exp Year: 2021	ExpID: 115843
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 37
Published: Oct 10, 2021	Views: 737
[ View as PDF (for printing) ] [ View as LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Switch Colors ]
Pharms - Lorazepam (79) : Post Trip Problems (8), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Medical Use (47), Unknown Context (20)