What Even Is Reality...
Citation: Dr. Tripper. "What Even Is Reality...: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (20x extract) (exp115807)". Erowid.org. Oct 6, 2021. erowid.org/exp/115807
Total trip time 2 minutes 12 seconds
The sun had set, and the cold winter night was out as I stood at my bedroom window holding my pipe in front of me. I had just gone on a trip a few hours earlier with 20mg, so I knew a little of what to expect. This time I wanted a little more, so I measured out 30mg of 20X and placed it on the screen in my pipe. I have done mushrooms and weed in the past and those experiences don’t even come close to helping me understand what salvia can do. Salvia separates your consciousness from this reality and lets you experience something altogether unique. My wife “A” was there with me as my trip sitter and my lifeline back to this reality.
Holding the pipe up, almost to my lips, I took a big calming breath as I mentally prepared myself for this journey. On my first trip, I had asked a question just before going into it and I did the same here. “Show me something else, show me something other than my own imagination, show me another entity.” I lit the lighter and inhaled, making sure to keep the flame burning the whole time. My throat and lungs felt the burning of the smoke, not too intense but still uncomfortable, and I started to count. At about 15 seconds I felt my mind starting to expand and the familiar heaviness and tingles start to brush against my skin. At 20 seconds it was so intense I knew that if I didn’t make it to the bed now I never would. So, I blew the smoke out the window and headed for the bed. I felt reality expanding and contracting around me as I settled into place on the bed. An overwhelming sense of peace and tranquility enveloped me, I felt as if I was entering a safe space, like I was home. The second I closed my eyes I was gone.
I felt as if my body was just a shell and I, as my consciousness, was the energy or force within. The shell of my body merged with the bed and opened like a zipper down the back. I, as my consciousness, pulled myself backward out of my body's shell. As I did, I felt as if I was leaving reality. What we call and experience as reality was no longer "reality" but "a reality". One of many realities that co-exist simultaneously in time. As I continued to float backwards, an expanding black and blue mottled elliptical bubble representing the reality I had just left, filled my awareness. Across its surface was a flowing grid of blue that originated from the future in front of me and disappeared into the past behind me. The distinct impression I received was that this grid was the fabric of time that constantly flows across all that is. I still retained some link to the reality bubble in front of me, as if I were holding space for it in my awareness, thus preventing it from collapsing and disappearing entirely.
As my awareness of my surroundings grew, I became distinctly aware of an else. Actually, of two distinct entities on either side of me. I felt a sense of protection or guardianship emanating from them, as well as an unchangeableness or eternally enduring, as if they had existed beside me my whole life and I was just now discovering them. I was aware that to my left was male and to my right was female. Their presence was much taller and grander than my own. They remained perfectly still, statuesque, with longer and more angular human features to their pale gray faces. They were smiling at me as I was awestruck trying to comprehend coming into contact with other beings. I received a sense of gentle amusement coming from them, as if I were a child discovering what water was. Beyond us was an endless world of shifting black and blue with time flowing across its surface.
I asked them “How? How can this be? How can both this and the reality I left both be true?” I received the impression of an idea from the male as he grinned and gave a little chuckle. I acted upon the idea immediately. In front of me I found the elliptical reality bubble I had left, and I pressed my consciousness up against it. To my utter shock and surprise, it split and opened into a horizontal slit and light was pouring out. There in front of me was my bedroom, as if I were standing outside of a well-lit house in the dark looking in the window. My consciousness was able to see into the reality I had left through my body’s eyes. I exclaimed a long “Ohhhhhhhhhhh” as I had an aha moment of understanding. I pulled back and looked at the male smiling at me. I pressed my consciousness back up to the bubble and it split back open. I wanted to know more, so much more, how did this work. When looking into this reality I was only aware of what I could see. I felt as if on the other side of the paper-thin ceiling was that black and blue place. I tried pressing my consciousness into my body's mouth, and it opened. I again exclaimed “Ohhhhhhhhhhh”. I could control a piece of and interact with this reality through my body, because my body was still there. All I had to do was press my consciousness up against it to fold and interact with it. I still wanted to know more so I looked to my wife and sitter “A” and spoke. “You can say something now.” And I heard her say “OK, alright”. And I reached out and took her hand. As I started to explain to “A” what I was experiencing, I could feel my consciousness reintegrate back into my body. I slowly blinked and watched as the black and blue place behind the ceiling fractured into dozens of pieces and slowly shrank into nonexistence.
I was elated and enthralled. Completely awestruck by this experience. I felt my body start to quiver and tremble as my mind reassimilated back into this reality, and I started to comprehend what I had just been through. I had never had nor fully understood what a hallucination was up until this point, but now I had been completely enveloped in one. It became my new understanding of existence. This reality, that we all know and experience, is just a small sliver of the vast expanse of what’s out there.
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