DOSE:

1 hit

buccal

LSD

(blotter / tab)

BODY WEIGHT:

210 lb

I had been curious about using psychedelics in that past but had never really came across the chance to do any of them. I’d been wary about drug use in the past before due having a family history of substance abuse, primarily stimulants (crystal) and opioids (morphine). I had casually brought it up in conversation with friends I worked with at the time but eventually one day one of my close friends I worked with asked if I wanted to try it. For context we’re all in the military I won't say where or what branch but to my surprise I had discovered that essentially all of the people that lived in the barracks in my company were using it. So, we had set up a time and day to consume. It took some time for my wife to agree to it as she was worried about substance abuse as well. Life in the army can be troubling and I have several undiagnosed behavioral health issues that are hereditary from my mom so at this time I’d already spent time in inpatient for attempted suicide and I had a drinking problem I was just getting over.

We had decided to all go out and grab some ramen and kind of brief over what to expect and what we will do. I had a pretty clear mind set and was pretty hyped so I didn’t think there would be any issue with having a bad trip either. I had researched as much as I could on the substance.

We finished our ramen and decided to dose. Starting the trip it was 4 of us including myself, my best friends that I’ll call G, his girlfriend J, and our other friend F. J unwrapped the foil and handed out 3 tabs from one blotter sheet and one much smaller tab from another sheet. I don’t really think anyone knew exactly how many mcg we were taking but my best guess is the small one was about 100 and the others were probably 50-75 each. After we did what would become the traditional cheers with the tabs everyone went their separate ways until the come up. Mind you we decided to do this in the barracks so that was the only nerving thing about it. If you don’t know typically barracks will be each suite is two different rooms that share a bathroom and a common area. We started in F’s room and his roommate wasn’t aware of what we were doing.

Everyone else went to their respective rooms and showered because that was their pre come up ritual. I stayed in F’s room until he showered. Around this time there was a knock at the door and two other friends we worked with S and R stopped by. I still had the tabs in my mouth and started to get nervous until they had already pointed out they knew what we were doing and was surprised I was partaking as well as disappointed they weren’t told about it before hand. They decided to join us but things started to get more complicated due to other people joining the trip when we started feeling the come up. I still remember the first song that F played called Oddity by whatsonot. All the guys referred to it as “the wet song”. I remember F looking at me “Recline the seat and lay back and you’ll fall into it” so I did but each time the beat dropped and the song played these loud wet sounds J and R kept saying “Oh my god so fucking wet!” and I started losing it.

I remember leaning back up and needing something to drink so I asked F for some water. When he came back from the kitchen, he had a regular sized coffee mug but to me it looked like an unreasonably huge container of water and as my shaking arms reached out to grab it I felt as if I was going to spill it. I started to realize that even though we were in such a small room everyone felt so out of reach like they were 100 miles away. “what's the matter? Drink the water man” I heard F say and I responded “I can’t, I can’t drink it someone help” about this time S and R started screaming with their tabs in their mouth “don't drink that fucking water, don’t do it!” eventually I was able to and after this G came back to fetch us and go to J’s room who supposedly had a much better vibe.

Upon entering J’s room, I noticed immediately it was in fact a better vibe. She has lights turned on that went along the corners of the ceiling that changed colors. She also had light saber and a bunch of tapestries and posters. She was playing doom on her PC waiting on us to come in and at this time it felt like a very dreamy like state I was in. Throughout the night more and more people got involved which was somewhat uncomfortable but also fun. I remember sitting with J on her bed and we started talking about suicide, it was a serious conversation about what we had both went through before, however the visuals at this time seemed somewhat disturbing as her face started to look demonic with long sharp teeth but I wasn’t afraid. It was a good conversation and she was a good friend. Several times throughout the night we had left through her window and came back in doing stuff all together (the original group) like watching the sunset and looking at stars and talking about life and how we felt about each other. There was this strong connection between all of us being friends especially with me and G.

We had talked about how I felt that I could rely on G in any kind of crisis and that’d we’d be there for each other. At this time during the peak, I had also had this realization about existence that to me seemed would have been a depressing thought for a normal person but at my state it seemed so comforting. Before this part of my suicidal ideation was out of this thought that I was so alone and misunderstood and that no one else seemed to notice or care about things like government corruption, police brutality, racial inequality, neo-Nazis whatever the list goes on and not in a traditional sense but in more of an Orwellian kind of fear about what is to come or how much control we had over our lives and that kind of thing. But this realization made me think and I spoke aloud “you know, our life is like a grain of sand in all the worlds beaches and we are so insignificant and meaningless but we are all one together. Things aren’t so bad and if all you do is focus on the bad and what you can’t change then your existence would be miserable”. The other agreed to this sentiment and as time went on, we discussed many different things and eventually made our way inside before the come down started.

After everyone was back inside and things started to mellow out it was just the original group on J’s room and this was the time, they all like to watch videos and things like that. First, we watch the old alien movie “they live” which was my recommendation. After they had begun to show me some videos, they all liked while tripping and I’ll never forget them. In my opinion you shouldn’t waste your trip watching pure comedy or something. You to watch things visually appealing and thought provoking and this is where the other part of the title creepy crawlies come in. F had told me that if something seems uncanny or somewhat disturbing to confront them and that ended up being exactly the kind of material I liked looking for. We watched mostly adult swim stuff that I realized at that point was all designed to watch while tripping or even the people doing it was tripping. We watched unedited footage of a bear, smart pipe, Icelandic ultra-blue, Jack Stauber's shop a pop opera, May I please enter your home, for profit online university, and quite a bit more. There's something to say about the uncanniness of these little shows. The occasional “wait, what?” visual glitches and overall demeanor of them. Sometimes they can be quite uncomfortable to say the least. After all this we watched the sun rise and I had them take me home.

I did it with people I trust and have done it before. Listened to some kick ass music, watched some videos, talked about uncomfortable stuff. It’s something I’ll never forget and after that I still do LSD to this day. Though as times change and people move in the military, I mostly have to do it alone.

The visuals in this one was a lot different than other ones I had. There was your quintessential fractals and stuff but overall things looked as if I were trying to watch a DVD with scratched disk or very “computer corruption” esque. It’s a lot cooler than it sounds. I also personally feel EDM is the best kind of music to jam to despite never being a fan beforehand.

Exp Year: 2020	ExpID: 115792
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 27
Published: Oct 7, 2021	Views: 454
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LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), First Times (2), General (1)