Citation: BasedJunkie. "Full-Blown Blackout: An Experience with Clonazolam (exp115581)". Erowid.org. Sep 27, 2021. erowid.org/exp/115581
I decided to take some Clonazolam on a Sunday night to help me go to bed and relax after a long day - I started with 1mg sublingually and move up in my dose over time. I remember quite fondly that I took 3mg more sublingually and 1mg insufflated with nasal spray. The night of this experience, I remember being relaxed, but not quite satisfied with the high which is the reason for the redosing. Eventually I ended up falling asleep which I have no recollection of at all and then begins the next morning.
Most of these events are from what I was told, and not things I actually recall.
I was scheduled for work around 8 AM. I had set my alarms the night prior, but they didn't wake me up.
I had set my alarms the night prior, but they didn't wake me up.
My grandma who I was living with had to wake me up one way or another and immediately after waking up I was already blacked out. I was unable to walk properly and even one of my other relatives (who has dementia) noticed something was wrong. I was supposed to borrow my grandmother's car as my car was in the shop and upon asking for the keys she denied me them and questioned my sobriety, in which case I claimed I was totally fine and had no idea what she was talking about. I then walked outside for no apparent reason, in which she questioned what I was doing and I simply replied "I don't know". I then "crawled" back up the stairs to the house and got frustrated. I went into my room and quite literally screamed at the top of my lungs and banged my head several times against the wall. Grandma then came into my room and we had an argument which I can't fully remember the details of. A bit later, I called out of work and left a 3-minute voice-mail for my manager (I really don't know how I was competent enough to get his number in this state as it's not in my contacts) and according to another co-worker, blatantly slurred my words and claimed that the A/C Compressor in my car blew up which is the reason for my absence. I then texted him and claimed I had the flu basically right after, which made him mad that I claimed two different things.
Some other things must've happened before I went back to bed. There were several call logs in my phone after calling out from work that I didn't recognize. There are probably some other events that happened too, for example, I believe my grandmother mentioned that I went into the shower at some point (it's unknown to me if I actually took a shower or not) amongst other various degenerate actions.
It's been a couple days now since this experience, and I'm just thankful that I have suffered no repercussions from this experience other than pure embarrassment from work and home. I still live with my grandma and was able to play it off as if it was some kind of mental episode. Surprisingly my manager did not mention any of this upon my return and things continued as normal. This is probably because I work in a car dealership and obviously shit like this isn't the most unlikely thing to occur, albeit still uncommon.
I really think I lucked out because had my car not been in the shop I could've drove myself to my death as I was at the time fully convinced I was sober. Or I could've made it to work and made a fool out of myself even more than I had with that voice-mail. It really was lucky timing that I learned this lesson now and not in a situation where I could've put myself, or others, in serious danger.
Overall I still like this drug and will continue to do it, but not at my grandmother's house and certainly not the day before an early shift at work. I refuse to let myself have an experience like this again, even typing this is hard because of how embarrassing it is and how ashamed I am of my actions. I made the foolish mistake of underestimating the potency of this drug, and suffered some embarrassment as a result. I am fortunate enough to be able to put this behind me with relatively no long-term or life-changing consequences. With time, this will fade and be forgotten about, especially considering I will not repeat these actions. It'll be like it never happened. Anyway, moral of the story is be careful with this shit and don't do it the day before you have to go to work.
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