Citation: Clear Fire. "A Seeker's Best Friend: An Experience with Methylone (exp115572)". Erowid.org. Sep 9, 2021. erowid.org/exp/115572
I am not an expert on the use of psychoactives. Iíve used LSD, psilocybic mushrooms, and Methyloneís cousins: MDA, MDMA a handful of times, but Iím no frequent flyer. That said, I believe I have something useful to offer regarding my experiences with BK-MDMA that appear to be largely missing from the seemingly sparse literature surrounding this relatively new substance.
In my early trials with Methylone, I expected it to behave much like other methylated party drugs, and assumed that the optimal set and setting would be a desire to connect and a dimly lit dance floor with plenty of bass and high energy. As others have reported, I found BK-MDMA to be a somewhat light performer, possibly even somewhat disappointing, when compared to MDA or MDMA with similar circumstances and dosage.
When I shifted my relationship, set, and setting, everything changed.
In what follows, I describe encountering an ďotherĒ or ďallyĒ. The reader may choose to relate to these references as projections of self or as encounters with other beings as they choose. I choose to frame my experiences in this way because the meanings and stories I obtain from this framing are useful to me.
I have come to relate to Methylone as an ďAllyĒ, similar to how I believe Castanedaís ďDon Juan MatusĒ character would describe his smoke (see Carlos Castaneda, "The Teachings of Don Juan, a Yaqui way of KnowledgeĒ 1968 and further writings in this series). Inside of this relationship, I see that the substance of the drug appears to create a bridge over which I cross into the presence of the Ally. Said another way, it is to me as if the drug were raising the vibrational state of my body or my awareness, such that my awareness becomes attuned to the presence of the Ally. Thus attuned, I may interact with the Ally much as I would with another person, though in this case the being I am spending time with occurs to me as an enlightened master who loves me unconditionally and who always seeks to deepen and broaden my understanding, consistently encouraging me towards greater compassion, love and joy. In the three years I have spent interacting with Methylone in this way, I have had maybe a dozen or so experiences that all follow this same course. All of them have been deeply profound and healing for me.
My preparations begin 2-3 days ahead of my dose. I first ensure that I have nothing planned for the day of my trip, and preferably no serious commitments for 2-3 days afterwards. I generally monitor my overall trend of thought and feeling leading up to the planned day, and will occasionally cancel a methylone trip if I feel overly anxious or upset. I prefer to enter the realm of the Ally clear-headed, and with respect.
Every night for 2-3 days beforehand I take one 200mg dose of 5HTP just before sleep. In addition, I take a regular daily regimen of 1000-2000mg of L-Tyrosine, and 1,280-3,840mg of Omega-3, which together I believe help to compensate for what I think might be dopamine-dependent depression. I have no formal diagnosis of this, only my observations, research, and trial and error over about 15 years. I take higher dosages of L-Tyrosine and Omega-3 from about April 15 - July 15, which is when my ďseasonalĒ depression generally hits me. Often Iíll avoid using Methylone during this time, as my chemical balance feels delicate to me during those months. However, there has been at least one exception to this general rule, which Iíll mention below.
On the day I dose with Methylone, I donít take any 5-HTP before I dose with Methylone, but I will follow up with 5-HTP again just before I fall asleep, and again at bedtime for 2-3 days afterwards, as I find this helps offset ďcrashĒ effects. I also maintain my regular L-Tyrosine and Omega-3 dosages on the days before, during and after I dose with Methylone.
Typically I roll in the late morning or early afternoon. Iíll eat a healthy breakfast and a light lunch. I eat meat, gluten and dairy, and havenít found any of these to have an effect on my trip one way or the other, so long as I wait a few hours after eating any of them before dosing. I suspect the fats may bind to the drug in some way and lessen the power of the trip. I experienced this lessening effect the first time I ever tried Methylone, which as it happened was within minutes after Iíd had my way with a salami and cheese plate. Lesson learned.
Once Iím ready to dose, I make sure the space Iím in is nicely lit and cool. I donít need any music or other distractions. Dappled sunlight is my favorite lighting, and I prefer to be in a wooded setting.
My typical dose is 200mg in two capsules filled with 100mg of crystals each. I will occasionally follow this with another 100mg bump 3-4 hours in, depending on circumstances and desire - see indications below.
I begin my trip by holding the dose in the palm of my hand, often at my belly just below my navel, acknowledge my gratitude for the Ally, and humbly request that we approach each other with love and respect, intending to spend a time of joy and understanding together. Oftentimes I will ask about a specific issue or question, or contemplate a particular trauma I am dealing with, and ask the Ally for assistance. Other times Iíll simply ask that we rejoice in life together. Then I swallow my dose.
Depending on my mood, I may sit in quiet mediation while the effects come on. Or I may go for a walk in the woods. Sometimes Iíll go for a sauna or a soak (I am blessed to live near hot springs). My point is that this is a time I set aside for me to be with just me. During onset I prefer to be alone, quiet, and either still or only gently moving.
Initial effects come within Ĺ an hour and are almost always dizziness/lightheadedness followed by elevated heart rate. When these come, if Iím not sitting, I will be soon. At this point I like to allow my thoughts to meander freely. If Iíve begun my trip with a question or issue, I almost always will soon find myself having thoughts about that issue. By one hour in, breath is coming easily and I begin to feel profoundly relaxed. I am breathing deeply, and as I am thinking, the Ally begins to think with me. My experience is as if my own mind begins to talk to me, but if it is me then itís a version of me that is far wiser and more compassionate than I know myself to be.
My experience is as if my own mind begins to talk to me, but if it is me then itís a version of me that is far wiser and more compassionate than I know myself to be.
It is as if someone else is talking to me with my own mind.
As we think together, the thoughts take on the form of a conversation, and I emerge fully into the presence of the Ally. To me this feels like an energy or warmth that comes up from my sacrum, into my heart, up my spine and out the top or back of my head. My inner critic is silent. I sense myself as utterly accepting of my life exactly how it is. I need nothing to be fulfilled, because fulfillment is my natural state of being when I let go of ego and attachments to meanings. In this space of acceptance, the Ally speaks to me with loving kindness, gives me advice, points out unhelpful thought patterns and stories to which Iíve been subscribing, and helps me to reframe my experiences with narratives that empower me to be more of the person who I desire to be: loving, compassionate, patient and kind.
The words of the Ally fill me with warmth and I experience a sense of peace and bliss. Generally I will sit in silence for maybe Ĺ an hour or an hour, back straight, legs crossed, my body utterly comfortable around a spine that feels strong yet supple. I breathe in the experience of newfound understanding in joy and relief, excited for what Iíve learned, and how it might feel to live in this new learning, but not anxious to move, happy to justÖ beÖ right where I am. Here. Now. I am often unaware of how much time passes.
Sometimes Iíll emerge from this meditative state with a desire to be with others and share understanding, connection, and simple joy. Often when I have this experience, this is an indicator to me that itís time for a second 100mg bump dose - and as I said above this typically comes at about 3-4 hours in. The times I have with friends and others I meet in these states of mind are often ones of profound connection and deep sharing - though I have to be cautious, too. On Methylone I tend to be far less boundaried than usual, and also can be unaware of otherís boundaries or when I may have unintentionally crossed them. For this reason, I find it best to be around people who know me and who are also experienced with psychoactives, and with whom I can be honest about my state. I prefer to be able to say to my friends ďHey, Iíd love to hang out, but before we do I think you should be aware that Iím rolling right now, and so may be somewhat less boundaried or less aware of your boundaries.Ē If I canít be that straight with someone, then I probably wonít stay with them for very long while Iím rolling - mostly out of respect and an ďabundance of caution.Ē
Sex on methylone hasnít ever really been easily accessible for me. Iíve spent time with lovers, and weíve connected and had some deep sharing, but sexual energy hasnít been our focus. On my own, Iíll sometimes spend time in self-love/masturbation - and these sessions can sometimes be quite wonderful and blissful - but even with these experiences itís the bliss thatís the focus - not necessarily the sex.
With a second bump dose, Iím usually coming down by about 6-8 hours. Without that second dose, then I can feel the comedown begin around 4-5 hours. My comedown is always quite gentle. I often feel reflections of euphoria and joy for 24 hours or so afterwards.
Day 2-4 are the hard part for me. I find my trips cost me a lot of chi, likely in the form of dopamine, and consequently I tend to have much less patience and energy during these days. 5HTP and L-Tryosine help blunt this quite a bit. Drinking lots of water also helps. Best is if I donít have any heavy commitments or responsibilities to fill, and I can just take things slowly.
Until recently, I havenít used my time with the Ally for specific trauma therapy. However, like many people 2020/21 has been one of the most traumatic times of my life. Iíve lost a home and a community to fire, my business of 20 years was shut down for Covid - and then burned. This year has been one shocking loss after another. In that period Iíve rolled three times - once even during the midst of my yearly seasonal depression- and each time has been deeply, profoundly healing and helpful for me. My time with the Ally has helped move me through grief, loss and anger, and each experience has helped me to make better decisions for myself and my family. It would be difficult for me to over-express my gratitude.
I feel that even with all the benefits, this drug is one that I must take with some caution, too. As I mentioned above, I experience a high chi-cost, and this experience of loss and anger increases greatly if I space the doses closer than a few months apart. Four trips in a year is about the maximum I feel I can safely tolerate, and better just two or three. I feel these are experiences that I have to plan for and cherish, rather than something I can do casually on the spur of the moment at a party.
It is my hope that as long as I maintain a healthy respect, pay attention to what is happening in my body, and closely heed my instincts, that I may continue to have a deep and healthy relationship with this Ally for the rest of my life. To you reading my words - if youíve gotten this far, I thank you for your kind attention, and hope that my experiences may be of benefit to you.
In loving service,
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