Withdrawal From HELL
Citation:   Melange. "Withdrawal From HELL: An Experience with Clonazolam (exp115403)". Erowid.org. May 5, 2021. erowid.org/exp/115403

0.6 - 1.5 mg oral Clonazolam (daily)
  50 mg oral Pharms - Diazepam (daily)
Clonazolam Powder and Withdrawal From HELL (Diazepam when tapering off)

Last year I ordered 500mg of clonazolam for only 50 (~60$) and thought I had made to deal of a lifetime. Since this substance is so potent with a regular dose being at 0.2-0-3mg I calculated that a single dose would cost me about 0.025 (0.03$) compared to the 0.5/$ I usually pay for a Clonazepam pill of similar strength, which is 20 times as expensive. This in the long term would save me a lot of money, especially considering my low income and my relatively high expenses for benzos. So the choice of buying it was quite easy.

Since its so dose-sensitive the only thing that made sense to me was to dilute it in PG (Propylene Glycol) at the ratio of 1mg/ml and then measuring each dose with a 1ml syringe. This part was easy and worked as good as one can hope for.

The problem however came when I realised that Clonazolam is significantly more hypnotic that Clonazepam, making it harder to do regular every day thing (working, socialising etc.) And also that tolerance for the substance developed more quickly compared to Clonazepam. Normally things like this aren't that big of a problem for me since I then usually end up using all the drugs up and then decide not to buy more. But for clonazolam I had more than 2'000 doses in my inventory, and having a longstanding problem with addiction I wasn't able to throw it away (which in hindsight, I should have when realizing it was going to become a future problem).

I ended up using it for several months and at the end my daily dosage was about 1.5mg, 3 times a day (=4.5mg/day). So when I finally ran out of the stuff I started to get the worst benzo withdrawal symptoms I've ever experienced with HEAVY headache 24/7, completely unable to sleep without any sleeping aid (although I had mirtazapin which helped quite good, but I also quickly developed tolerance to this which quickly became problematic), I also had huge amounts of anxiety and irritability which lead to me having constant depressing and suicidal thoughts. And all this while trying to taper the substance by replacing it with 5x10mg Diazepam per day (and then gradually reducing the dose).

It took me almost three weeks before my situation slowly started to get better
It took me almost three weeks before my situation slowly started to get better
, and those were LONG three weeks with me unable to work and having a real hard time doing anything at all basically. Is spent my days mainly watching youtube in order to try to get the time to pass more quickly.

So my word of advice is to think twice before buying clonazolam in powder form (or any benzo in powder form in large quantities for that matter). And if you do, try to keep a strict dosing schedule and plan ahead for the day when you run out by mainly trying to start replacing it with Diazepam (or other replacements that you see fit, although diazepam is usually recommended at the best one) long before you run out of your benzo-liquid, in combination with lowering the dose of the dissolved dose.

I've been through benzo withdrawal about five times before, with Clonazepam being the worst, but nothing is comparable to this. After all this I'm at a point where I don't want to do benzodiazepines ever again, and regret ever starting. My problems (social anxiety) are still there and by calming them with benzos I only temporarily shoved them at the back of my head, making them come back stronger than before; instead of dealing with them and growing as a person.

[Reported Dose: "0.2-0.3mg to 1.5mg three times per day"]

Exp Year: 2020-2021ExpID: 115403
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 29
Published: May 5, 2021Views: 2,119
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Clonazolam (686) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Addiction & Habituation (10), Not Applicable (38)

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