Citation: Nihto. "Soft and Senseless: An Experience with Tiletamine (exp115304)". Erowid.org. Mar 27, 2021. erowid.org/exp/115304
30 mg of Tiletamine
3 capsules of Tiletamine were purchased in Moscow through the dead-drop system. According to the seller, one capsule contains 30 mg of pure Tiletamine. I opened one capsule and licked a couple of crumbs, they tasted a little bitter with a sour aftertaste.
I decided to try it at 2 AM, at home. Before that, I had not eaten for half a day. I divided the content of the capsule into two parts, roughly, and placed the portions into two different capsules. I ate one of them, washed it down with orange juice.
After 15 minutes, the first changes began, +1 by the Shulgin scale. I have become a little out of place, separated from the world. Weakness poured in, I began to stagger. I went to bed. I felt very calm. I tried to listen for my favorite music, track by track. But each one of it, even tracks with slow tempo, seemed too fast to me, too fussy. Half an hour later, I ate the other half, but I forgot about it. The effect was already a strong +2. A friend came in to check how I am. I asked him several times where the second capsule was. We both couldn't find it. So I'm pretty sure I ate it.
I lay down again. Before the trip, I was tuning myself to think about important things during the trip, but now turned out that it's impossible to think about anything, to concentrate on anything. Everything was very strange, as if nothing exists. Me was nothing. I hardly remember this condition of mine, but I recorded my impressions on the phone, and now I write this paragraph based on that recording. In this recording, I described my condition as "wadded", "sinuous" and "pearlescent". And divine. But not in the sense that it was euphoric. It was like Primal Emptiness. It seemed to me that this is how God feels. Among all the music I tried, only the slow ambient was kind of pleasant. My condition was more pleasant than not, but I can't call it euphoric. Short-term memory was very weak. Long-term memory was OK, but any information from the past did not matter at all. I didn't care about anything.
I had a strong double vision. It was impossible to attentively look at anything.
I don't remember when I fell asleep, but I woke up 15 hours after taking the material. I had vivid dreams, but I did not remember anything certain, only the general impression that I rode a roller coaster or something. The whole next day I was not at ease. I strongly wanted to sleep further and not to do anything. The objects before my eyes were still doubled. I do not recommend trying the substance unless you have a next day free. A day after taking it, I didn't feel that a whole day had passed. As if it was not in my life at all.
A day after taking it, I didn't feel that a whole day had passed. As if it was not in my life at all.
Tiletamine is like a time machine.
Now, two days after the trip, I consider the material soft and senseless. Senseless doesn't mean that it makes no sense to try it, but that it brings no new thoughts in your mind. The only valuable idea I got from the trip is that the devices UI should be made as simple and intuitive as possible. Even easier than it is now. Because figuring out how to switch music or how to stop the sound recorder on the phone was quite difficult. All of these icons, lines, and labels merged and turned to chaos at that time.
In general, the effect was a bit like opioids, but without that sweet euphoria. The experience was interesting and kind of pleasant, but I see no point in repeating it. Tiletamine brought nothing really useful to me, like DXM or psychedelics did.
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