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Goddess of My Dextroverse
Bupropion, DXM, Cannabis & LSD
by _#10052,_#65039,_#65039, collective
Citation:   _#10052,_#65039,_#65039, collective . "Goddess of My Dextroverse: An Experience with Bupropion, DXM, Cannabis & LSD (exp115173)". Erowid.org. Aug 28, 2022. erowid.org/exp/115173

 
DOSE:
T+ 0:00
300 mg oral Pharms - Bupropion (pill / tablet)
  T+ 8:00 300 mg oral DXM (pill / tablet)
  T+ 8:30 couple hits smoked Cannabis (flowers)
  T+ 22:00 300 mg oral DXM (pill / tablet)
  T+ 24:00 100 ug oral LSD (blotter / tab)
  T+ 24:30 300 mg oral DXM (pill / tablet)

BODY WEIGHT: 85 kg


Timeline:
T-08:00 Bupropion 300mg
T-04:00 Grapefruit Juice ~350mL
T+00:00 DXM (freebase) 480mg
T+00:30 Cannabis, smoked (small amount)
T+14:00 Bupropion 300mg
T+16:00 LSD 1 tab ~100ug
T+16:30 Bupropion 300mg (oops)

Iím going to tell you about the greatest experience of my life. This was my first trip on LSDXM. Iím experienced with DXM in all its forms at doses as high as 1200mg (HBr) and with LSD up to about 200ug. I built up to this trip for a long time and felt I was prepared for it.

Personal details, I am 31, 85kg, trans woman, Autistic and dissociative identity disorder. Iíve listed one of my normal medications along with recreational substances because it is a potentiator of DXM. Other medications I take are estradiol, spironolactone, and progesterone, these have no effect on drugs except for lowering my tolerance to substances.

The setting for the whole experience was in my own house, alone with our partner system. I started with a DXM trip up to one of my favorite places, the borderline between the 2nd and 3rd plateaus. This phase of the trip was alone, with my partner system sober but nearby. I dosed at 8pm on 16 little RoboCough tablets, potentiated by a glass of grapefruit juice four hours earlier, and my antidepressant Bupropion which always intensifies DXM for me. I managed to not throw up this time, I got a little nauseous and was able to control it with candied ginger and a little weed. It took about an hour to start to come up.

The interesting thing about being a plural system on hallucinogens is how they affect my system. I went in with one alter in front, a few others present. On DXM I always lose my grasp on who is in front as I lose all sense of identity and self and become a passive observer of the Dextroverse. So we became unable to tell who we were and functioned as one being.
So we became unable to tell who we were and functioned as one being.


It was pretty typical, I got lost in music for a few long hours, I had a few nice dissociative scenarios and closed eye visuals, got the wonderful DXM body high, and lost my sense of touch and taste and proprioception, the usual.

A DXM trip is to swim through the middle of a sea of chaos and order. I can focus on anything and whatever it is will become more and more complex the more I dissociate. What I see is not profound, itís silly, itís absurd, cartoonish, I see no value or importance in any of it, it simply is a thing I experience.

DXM turns my brainís pattern finding ability way up, it will try to interpret order where there is chaos. Close my eyes and my brain wonít accept looking at nothing, it will make something for me to look at. My trips to this beautiful meaningless universe are all guided by music. Each song is a world of its own, with a story to tell.

I managed to eat one slice of tasteless pizza while high. I went to bed at 4am, in the middle of my slow comedown. I never get much sleep while tripping, and I woke up around 10am, still feeling like Iím on the lower 1st plateau. I take a long time to come down from this drug. When I woke up I took my bupropion, like I usually do, but I didnít eat anything because I was going to dose on LSD soon. This threw me off a little on my routine which led to a mistake.

We switched back to the same alter who was in front at the beginning of the last nightís trip, but we were still a little blurry and uncertain.

I took my tab of acid at noon. Shortly after, I ate some frozen waffles, and went to take my daily spironolactone after eating, before I could come up and forget about it. Because itís my usual routine to eat, then take my bupropion and spironolactone, and I was on LSD and DXM at that point, I forgot I already took my bupropion and redosed on it. I realized immediately after that I did that, Iíd taken 600mg of a drug that potentiates DXM, oops. It was fine, though, I was a little worried but I told myself it would be fine, itís still within the medicinal range of the drug.

My partner system took two tabs of the acid. They came up quickly, I was lagging behind, wondering if this was going to work or if I waited too long in between. I put a playlist together and started it while waiting.

When my partner and I trip we like to look at my desktop background which is a slideshow of images of planets and moons in our solar system. We did that for a while and I started to get minor visual distortions. The music sounded *very* good like it does on DXM. Even though I had mostly come down from DXM, it was like as the acid came up it reignited the DXM trip and I could feel some of its effects again.

When I was clearly coming up I put on a youtube video of a few hours of fractals, another thing we like to watch on a trip. Itís good on LSD alone but on LSDXM it was really blowing my mind and it was overwhelming, I had to look away from it a lot.

For some reason my partner got sick and threw up. Luckily I was cognizant enough to realize it and help them. Neither of us have ever seen this happen from LSD, and we took the same acid and ate the same food, donít know what caused that. They were overstimulated by the music but I needed music because I was tripping on DXM, so I switched to headphones.

When we trip on acid together we always end up having sex, and we did, but it was a challenging and confusing experience to my LSDXM self. I had my sense of touch back somewhat. I tried my best but I kept dissociating and forgetting what I was doing. I also was worried a lot because I felt we were not communicating at all, like we were in different worlds barely able to reach each other, with me on LSDXM and them on LSD alone, so I kept making sure what I was doing was okay. It all didnít work very well. Itís impressive I could have sex on a dissociative trip at all, though. We just cuddled the rest of the night.

We sat wrapped up in a blanket together and went back to watching pictures of planets and moons and listening to music together. This was where it got really good for me. I was experiencing extreme short term memory suppression, to the extent that I couldnít even say a short sentence without losing the beginning of it and not knowing what I was trying to say. We had the strangest most disjointed conversation that I barely remember the details of.

The visuals here became *incredible.* There was color shifting making everything iridescent, there was image slicing, there were fractals in everything. It was the best of both worlds from the DXM and LSD visuals. I saw the full moon reflected in the surface of a pond on an image of Jupiter. Later in the same image I saw a cave with pillars rising out of a deep pit. Even images without many features or complexity would become something incredible.

The longer I looked at a picture the more I would dissociate into it and get completely lost in its world.
The longer I looked at a picture the more I would dissociate into it and get completely lost in its world.
And whatís more was once the image had become alive with its DXM chaos, I could look away and look back and it would still look the way I had hallucinated it. Not constantly shifting and changing like LSD, but static and slowly morphing like DXM.

It looked much like I might have expected, LSD visual distortions superimposed over DXM hallucinations. It was like the way DXM creates closed eye visuals was happening on real objects and surfaces if I looked long enough and dissociated. The music was so good, better than it had ever sounded before.

Time distortion became intense, each song was feeling like hours. I could tell the passage of time by the changing images and songs. I continually had the strangest sensation that I was experiencing the song a few seconds in the future. Either I knew these albums well enough that my brain probably was anticipating the next notes, or my sensory processing was a little delayed from my sensory perception, but I really felt like I was sliding between the present and the future.

I would start to have some kind of profound LSD brain realizations about some grand cosmic truth to the universe but then my DXM brain would catch me and remind me that itís meaningless, just look at the pretty pictures. The general theme of this experience was that of being on a dissociative trip but watching the trip itself from a detached distance, being on a psychedelic trip and looking at it from the outside in. It felt just the same but from a different perspective, the trip from 3rd person instead of 1st person. That was what we kept coming back around to, a matter of perspective.

Being on a DXM trip makes me a resident of the dextroverse, caught up in its chaotic machinations. LSDXM lets me observe the dextroverse from above and see the bigger picture of all its moving parts. LSDXM made me the goddess of my dextroverse. People universally say they feel like a god on LSDXM, and I understood what they meant. I was outside my universe looking in. LSD makes me feel connected to everyone and everything, it makes me see connections between everything and think that everything is one. DXM makes me disconnected from everything else. Combined, I was a goddess who could stand back and look upon a beautifully interconnected world without living in it. I could hold the world in my hand and watch it spin.

Iíve never been so aware of my surroundings and my body during a trip on either DXM or LSD alone. Usually my universe closes in, until only my immediate surroundings are real to me. This time I was aware that the outside world existed and that I was looking at an inner world.

On LSD, if we go through ego death all of my altersí egos will collapse and reform, and in between we are one being with no identity, able to think but not to know. On DXM, ego death is the complete loss of self, reduced to merely a perspective, not even a being, somehow able to know but not to think. This was an entirely new experience.

I felt like I had a meta-awareness of the trip. I could notice the processes of each of the drugs, I would catch my LSD brain trying to come up with something grand and profound and I would catch my DXM brain trying to step back and just observe. What I was left with in between was beauty like I have never witnessed before. The visuals and the music were so overwhelmingly beautiful I was completely in awe, trying to put to words what I was experiencing.

We were coming down, slowly. My system was present, but I realized I was functioning as the whole system collectively. We were not blended together, but rather my identity was a meta-consciousness of us all collectively. There we were, goddess of our inner universe, observing its grandeur. We listened to one of my favorite albums and I delved so deep into it, I existed in between every note and truly understood it on a level I never did before. And at the same time I knew that understanding was meaningless, it was only beautiful music. I also had the recurring feeling that I had been there before in that headspace, even though it was my first time on this combination of drugs, it felt so familiar.

This slow comedown was the most wonderful experience of my life. It took hours longer before I regained enough short term memory to functionally carry on a conversation. I was able to get up and go to the bathroom, and I was back to robo-walking even 24 hours after dosing on DXM because the LSD had brought its effects back somehow. When I came down more I was light and floaty, that wonderful DXM feeling.

At the end of a beautiful album that ended with a long ambient piece I felt it was the time to stop the music. The silence was beautiful too. It was raining. It had gotten dark long ago and we had only the light of the TV screen. We turned on the lights and it was very nice and warm and cozy to be there in that room.

I ate some pizza and it tasted so good, so wonderful. I sat there with my partner just completely in love and blissed out. They had come down sooner than me, I took a long time. But we were both still pretty fucked up, and we decided to start up the Switch and play Smash while we were so fucked up. We were both so terrible, and it was so much fun. I was so happy, so overwhelmingly happy I was crying, I was having so much fun I didnít want the night to ever end, it was a state of pure indescribable joy.

Eventually I came down enough that I was recognizably a single alter and not the collective being, the same one we were when we started.

When we eventually went to bed after 4am, I could still see closed eye visuals in the darkness. They would form patterns like DXM CEVs do, then turn into beautiful fractals, and slowly become a solid geometric object made of that substance. I was experiencing auditory hallucinations, the white noise of the air filter was turning into sounds kind of like the game we were playing, it was so interesting. We held each other and I watched the pretty fractals until I fell asleep.

The next morning was wonderful, the best afterglow of my life, stacked up DXM and LSD afterglow. I woke up a different alter. It had snowed overnight and the outside world was so beautiful. Everything was wonderful. I looked at myself in the mirror and I was beautiful too. I was someone who has a lot of gender dysphoria and self confidence issues, and there that day I had none of it and I could finally see the beautiful woman I have become.

I had learned from this trip that the universe is beautiful, and so am I.

Exp Year: 2021ExpID: 115173
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: 31 
Published: Aug 28, 2022Views: 1,476
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LSD (2), Cannabis (1), DXM (22), Pharms - Bupropion (87) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Sex Discussion (14), Music Discussion (22), Mystical Experiences (9), Glowing Experiences (4), Combinations (3), General (1)

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