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Moments Before the Big Bang
Bufo alvarius Secretion
by LeporidKing
Citation:   LeporidKing. "Moments Before the Big Bang: An Experience with Bufo alvarius Secretion (exp115063)". Erowid.org. Jan 6, 2021. erowid.org/exp/115063

 
DOSE:
  vaporized Toad Venom

BODY WEIGHT: 250 lb


For the past 13 years I’ve been studying yDNA, genealogy, history, anthropology, archaeology, origins of language and religion. My mindset and lifestyle while not knowing it, is that of a MGTOW Monk. Meaning my Internal Validation is mine and mine alone. During my studies going from 400,000 BC in Africa with the Acheulean I found myself years later in the Franco-Cantabrian region 25,550 BC. Cave Art was the first hint of psychedelics for me.

About six months prior to my experience I had originally planned on doing Ayahuasca. Finding a church in the US that provided this was difficult. When I did find the right Church, Ayahuasca was not always available. Bufo Alvarius was offered and explained as they’re sacrament. I accepted, read a little about 5-Meo-DMT and made plans. Preparations for 5-Meo was minimal for me. No drug use or any medication.

My intention with psychedelics is to bring back knowledge if possible, as was done with the Greek mysteries. The setting was noon in the countryside with land, trees, a pond, creek and horses. I made myself known and met the Lady Shaman. Later made my way to the backyard fire pit and met a group that had done Ayahuasca the night before. After introductions I was guided to a private ceremony location, I was the only person doing Bufo that day.

Before the ceremony I asked for the Hero's Dose. I was reminded, “They're all a Hero's Dose." humility set in. After the shamanistic ceremony and a short prayer… I was ready. Beforehand I was instructed to breathe normal in and out, relax and breathe in and out. Big breath in, and let it out.

After a few times of big breathes I was handed the pipe. As you continue breathing Shaman will time the lighting with your last breath out. The Bufo is lit and you take in as much as you can and hold it as long as you can…..boom.

I was instantly teleported to another location. I was only there for a moment. I was surrounded by fog and smoke. I noticed a break in the smoke, beyond and behind the smoke I could see black space. I tried to move in the direction of the opening but I couldn't move. Something was holding me back and that's when I noticed the eyes. White glowing Star Eyes. I searched around the Eyes to see if I could see a silhouette and that's when I noticed another set of Eyes. I searched around more and noticed a 3rd. I looked wider and there were more. They were all evenly spaced from each other in the form of a triangle pattern. All of them were looking at me, unblinking. The realization came to me, these are the Entities. I could feel I was coming back to Earth, I was running out of time. I reached out to them with my hands saying “I see them, they're right there, they're looking at me.” and at the last moment I asked. “Show me the beginning.” Boom….I was back.

Right away I was helped up to the sitting position. Lady Shaman was there ready with the pipe for my 2nd hit. Again big breath in, and let it out. The Bufo is lit and this time I took in as much as I could and held it as long as I could. I held it for a few seconds, I was even able to take in one quick hit of normal air. I held it for as long as I could.....boom.

I was instantly teleported to another location, this place was different from the first. From here on I'll use metaphor and the best English to decode what happened. Imagine standard definition 3 by 4 then IMax then Oculus Quest. I was surrounded by white light, in front of me was this geometric shape, a plain triangle with a type of Celtic loop at its ends. It was made of light it rotated, it stretched, it multiplied, the pattern went in every direction. While looking at the pattern I noticed I wasn't blinking. I had no eyes, no eyelids but I could still see. This intense vibration sound was all around me. I heard and felt my breath leaving my mouth...I had no body. I sensed a light wind and water drops, and my body blew away. I heard the voice of an old man singing to me. But I could still think I had thoughts. I was here now with the geometric shape. It was looking at me or I was looking at myself. I felt guilt for leaving everyone behind but I was okay with that. I was at peace. While there I was convinced I really did die and there was no going back. And I was okay with that. When I let all that go the geometric shape and the intense vibration intensified. Everything fractaled, the geometric shape, the intense vibration sound, my thoughts, everything. It was white a pearl white. The voice of an angel singing to me with vibration. I became part of what was in front of me, I was one with it. I forgot who I was. The fractaling continued it never stopped. It was like looking at NASA footage of the surface of the Sun but pearl white. I have no clue how long I was there. There was no time, but I still had thought. I felt guilty for thinking if this is all there is, this is going to be boring. And that's when I got the sense that there's more beyond this. There's more beyond this oneness. After a while everything started to fade. I thought this was it, I was about to fade out of existence. And I was okay with that, I had no options. And little by little I came back to earth. I was sad it was over. I wanted more, more knowledge.

I picked myself up to the sitting position, I was back. To get my bearings I shook my head, like I do after taking a shower. It was still there I still had it, the vibration sound. For me this was a confirmation of what just happened, just happened. After getting up and thanking all who were there, this gift they gave me. I needed some time to just chill.

After a few hours I headed home, a long and chill ride home. Before leaving Lady Shaman advised there would be flashes for about week. I gave my goodbyes and headed home. It's been almost two months after and I’m just now able to put it all together. After all the decoding when I asked the Entities. “Show me the beginning.” I believe I witnessed moments before the Big Bang.

I’ve had 3 soft flashbacks. The first was visual where I was lying in bed after reading. I took my glasses off and I saw more then just one pair of lenses. The second was in a dream. I was in a vague house and walked into a vague room I noticed a mirror. Oh I’m in a restroom. I was looking at myself at least I think it was me. In the mirror my reflection turned into the Geometric Shape. I recognized it right away. The dream turned from vague to lucid. I stepped to the reflection to get a better look and I felt a soft push. Whoa, did it just push me? I stepped again, it pushed me a second time. I was determined to get closer. The third push pushed me out of the dream. I woke up.

The third soft flashback is visual that I can sometimes repeat. On a bright day I close my eyes turn and face the sun. And for just a second I’ll get small flickers under the eyelids and that's it.

Exp Year: 2020ExpID: 115063
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 49 
Published: Jan 6, 2021Views: 1,058
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Toad Venom (46) : Entities / Beings (37), Guides / Sitters (39), First Times (2), Small Group (2-9) (17)

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