Citation: Xorkoth. "Peace and Quiet: An Experience with 4-HO-McPT (exp114963)". Erowid.org. Jun 3, 2021. erowid.org/exp/114963
Peace and Quiet
||(powder / crystals)
4-HO-McPT - First Trial, 60mg orally
It has been an intense year for me, and the last few months in particular have been pretty rough. I have been experiencing an inordinate amount of grief and stress over the past couple of years, due to one tragic event after another. This has led to a resurgence of opiate addiction, as well as some other addiction and emotional problems, which I have been dealing with. Recently, my good friend and I rented a cabin in the mountains and did a 30-day detox retreat, and I came off of opiates and phenibut. I was feeling fantastic at the end of that, and then literally the day I got home, one of my cats, who was very dear to me, died suddenly of kidney failure. My girlfriend was watching her while I was away (we live together), and she ignored it and downplayed it, instead of taking her in to the vet. Her dying at the same time as I got home was really traumatic and awful for me, and I almost robotically reached for opiates as a way to deal with the overwhelming flood of grief and anger (at my girlfriend not paying attention) and guilt (at myself for being gone). I really was feeling strong and not feeling the desire for opiates as I left the cabin and during the last 2 weeks of the retreat, but as has been the pattern for me, when strong negative emotions hit, I went to pieces and couldn't deal. Kindling is a bitch, and that one dose of poppy seed tea got me withdrawals again, which I started using poppy tea and kratom to mask, as my life immediately resumed its busy and unforgiving pace and I had to be able to perform (literally, as a musician).
As a result, I am currently, once again, trying to get off of daily opiate use. I obtained a suboxone pill and the plan is to dose 3 times, separated by 2 days each time, to rapidly taper and then jump off entirely and deal with whatever withdrawal remains. The day before this experience, I took my second suboxone dose, so the day of the experience I felt relatively normal, neither high on opiates, nor withdrawing. Because of this, my mental set heading into this experience is not that positive, I feel guilt and anger towards myself, and am experiencing the emotional rollercoaster of opiate dependence. However I have been in much darker places and tripped, overall I like my life and am satisfied with what I am doing with it and the people who are in it.
The point of this experience is simply to trial something new from my backlog of things I own, but have yet to try, and to write a report on it, since there aren't many reports. I don't expect any sort of profound experience, nor am I intending on using this to help me work through anything or gain fresh perspective, though if such a thing were to happen, I would welcome it. From the reports I have read, this drug seems to be very light in effects, so I thought it would be a good one to try during such a painful point in my life. The plans for the day are to meet up with my girlfriend's friend and her boyfriend and go on a hike at one of our favorite trails.
Throughout the experience, I took brief notes on my phone to serve as memory hooks. I reconstructed this report over the next two days, based on my notes and my memory. The experience was nothing terribly substantial, but I decided to note all of my impressions and experiences to provide the best window into the experience as possible. If you don't care to read the personal details, you can skip to the Afterthoughts section at the bottom for my summary.
- Just ingested a previously weighed out dose of 60mg of 4-hydroxy-methylcyclopropyltryptamine, orally, by opening the capsule and pouring it on my tongue, chasing it down with water. It is, like most other 4-hydroxy tryptamines, a chalky fine powder, slightly off-white in a gray direction, but only slightly. The taste is strange, not too bad as these things go, a weird sort of blend of sour and bitter. The aftertaste does not linger for long. My girlfriend and I just arrived at the trailhead of an awesome trail, and are waiting for a good friend of hers and her boyfriend to show up, and then we're going to hike the trail. I am feeling pretty good today, no hint of opiate withdrawal or anything, and I'm in a pretty good mood. Though I do not feel particularly sociable, I don't feel shy, either. But I am slightly nervous to meet someone new. What will he be like? Will we find conversation easy? I know my girlfriend and her friend will want to catch up, so he and I will probably end up hanging out with each other in a somewhat one-on-one manner. These thoughts are floating around my head, but I'm only slightly anxious about them.
- I just noticed my first alerts, which came on quite quickly, as is typical with tryptamines. I feel a bit of a feeling of excitement/fluttering in my stomach, and my head is feeling lighter, and slightly wobbly/bouncy, like a balloon. Our hiking companions arrived just after I took my dose, and we have made our acquaintance. I think "D", my girl's friend's boyfriend, feels about the same as I do, that is, slightly nervous about meeting a new person. But we have begun walking, and as we walked, he and I naturally ended up grouped together, well ahead of the girls, who are absorbed in catching up (they used to live together and are close, but haven't seen each other in a couple of years). Without my prompting it, the conversation almost immediately turned to psychedelics, which is certainly comfortable territory for me. As a result, conversation has begun quite easily, and I feel much more at ease, because he's enjoyable and easy to talk to and we have things in common.
- Well, now I am more fully into it. I feel quite lovely, really, though it is mild, to be sure. The lightheaded feeling has increased. It is not an unpleasant lightheadedness, but rather the feeling common to most 4-substituted tryptamines, a feeling that is reminiscent of faint dizziness but is not at all unpleasant. It makes me feel slightly like a bobble-head figure, but the feeling is pretty subtle and is not disorienting in any way, as it can be sometimes with powerful tryptamine doses. I have a very pleasant glow in my body, which I feel emanating from my stomach/solar plexus, and which I feel more strongly in my arms than I do anywhere else. It is not entactogenic in any way, like the -MiPTs are, but it is very pleasant. In other words, my skin and sense of touch do not feel amplified, but rather the warm glow in my body is pleasurable. Visually, colors are bright, and the world looks lovely... Though the world is, in fact, lovely. We're hiking on a high mountain ridge down the same trail that my girlfriend and I went on our first date on. It's one of my favorite trails and very beautiful.
I would say there is some light color saturation, but no actual visuals. I experimented briefly with closing my eyes, and I don't seem to have any closed-eye visuals, either. My mood and the world are suffused with a sense of comfort and contentment. I am very much enjoying the engaging conversation with "D", and it is clear that he is, too. We're not talking over each other, it is a very two-sided conversation, but there is never any pause, because we are both eager to share something more when the other is done talking. Many tryptamines produce a sense of difficulty in talking for me, and of social awkwardness when trying to communicate, and if not awkwardness, then I will find it difficult to put together coherent sentences, at least during the come-up and peak. Not so with 4-HO-McPT, at least so far. Talking is both enjoyable and natural, fully as easy as it is when I'm sober.
- It has gotten slightly stronger than it was at my last entry, but it is largely the same. The conversation is great and is my favorite part of this experience so far. I'm quite sure we would have talked like this without the psychedelic in me, but certainly 4-HO-McPT, if it hasn't outright facilitated good conversation, has in no way gotten in the way of it, either. I am glad, because I was a bit nervous that it would, and I contemplated the wisdom (or lack thereof) of trying a new novel tryptamine for this particular occasion. But I' m glad I did it, it's well-suited. My head still feels a bit inflated in a bobble-head sort of way, and my body is still flush with a comforting, warm feeling. I have good energy for hiking, but I don't feel as if the drug has given me energy. Rather, it has not made anything more difficult or lethargic. 4-HO-MiPT actually produces energy and I find it somewhat stimulating, though not in a stimulant sense, and 5-MeO-MiPT is outright stimulating. The body feeling of this one is kind of similar, but much more transparent.
In fact, all of the effects of this drug can be described as pretty transparent. I would be higher than this if I smoked weed. I keep forgetting that I took anything, even though when I take stock of my situation, the effects are obvious and desirable. I get the feeling that this drug is always going to be subtle, even if the dose is increased. It feels like the kind of drug effect that has a ceiling to it. Rather than this being a drug that is being under-dosed at 60mg, I believe it is a drug where the nature of its effects is simply that they are not very powerful. The point of this drug, I surmise, is to produce a subtle, day enhancing tryptamine effect, rather than to produce a full-on trip.
I find myself laughing and finding humor in things, but rather than the sparkly hilarity of 4-HO-MiPT or that uncontrollable cosmic joke style humor which can occur in mushrooms and other tryptamines, I find myself relating more to a chuckle and a wry grin, followed by a peaceful smile.
- More of the same. We have reached the bottom of the trail, where there is a beautiful mountain stream and small waterfall, and a gravel road with a bridge over the stream. We all sit down to eat a snack and rest. "D" and I disengage from conversation for a bit, and I start exploring, climbing the waterfall, taking pictures, and walking around on rocks, and also catching up with my girlfriend, who I haven't really talked to since we started walking. I am smitten by the beauty I see. Without any actual visual alteration, other than colors seeming more vibrant than usual, this drug has produced the effect of everything just seeming strikingly beautiful in an indescribable way, like the visual effect that mescaline produces, except less profound than that. I find myself wanting to play with the sunlight in my photos, and I take a series of pictures where the halo from the sunlight creates rainbows. We noticed some graffiti that someone painted underneath the bridge... It's a tag, and it says "Thumb Dick Charlie". I begin to uncontrollably laugh at this, it's just so hilarious to me. Someone takes the time to hike 2.8 miles down a steep trail and then climb some slippery rocks to reach the support beam of a bridge to tag, and that's what they tag on it? That's just too funny. My companions think it's funny, too, but clearly not quite as much as I do!
After spending 30 minutes or so down here, we begin the walk back up. The effects, up to this point, have remained consistent. They are subtle, but very much present, and have not seemed to abate at all yet, which surprises me a bit due to what has been reported as quite a short duration for this chemical, with some people saying they were completely down by 2 and a half hours in. I am 2 and a half hours in, more, even, and I am still going, for sure. It's worth noting that it's a little hard to say for sure whether I have started to come down, since the effects are so light to begin with.
- We've made it back up the steepest part of the trail. "D" and I have been talking on and off. There have been several periods of extended silence, but it is a comfortable silence. Whenever either of us talks, conversation resumes easily and eagerly. I noticed a drop-off of the effects recently. It's a bit hard to say exactly when, as the physical exertion of walking 2 miles uphill makes subtleties harder to notice, and distracts me from making such observations in the first place. I feel quieter than I did during the first half of the experience. I am very content to just exist in silence. When not talking, my inner monologue is also quiet, and it is easy to find myself just existing without really thinking about anything in particular. It is welcome, as it feels very peaceful and zen. Sometimes it's perfectly fine to not focus on anything and just let yourself float along. I am into a rhythm of step, push, step, push, getting my slightly achey self up the mountain. It is meditative and serene.
- We have been sitting at our cars, all four of us talking as a group, for a little while now. I feel even quieter than before, and I find myself just listening most of the time. I feel largely down, though there is a residual glow, still, and I would not say I am totally down. At this point, the drug reminds me the most of 4-MeO-MiPT (not a typo, I mean 4-MeO, not 5-MeO). Specifically, with that one, I find a similar relatively introverted, quiet headspace, which is nonetheless very friendly and peaceful, and which does not inhibit extroverted behavior at all. I am taking notes with this experience, but it is just because I feel the obligation to provide a trip report on an under-reported substance, not because I am enjoying doing so. The same was true with 4-MeO-MiPT, but with many substances, I am excited to write down and share my thoughts and observations, it feels important to do, or at least very enjoyable. With this, it is a bit of a chore, but I am doing it anyway in order to add to the body of recorded experiences.
- Just sitting down to begin writing this report from my notes at the moment of this time stamp. After my last entry, we said our goodbyes, with the promise of hanging out again in the future, and departed for home. At the moment I am pretty much all the way down, though there is definitely a residual energetic signature remaining. I feel internally quiet and still, but in a peaceful way. I have no trouble making conversation at all, but my resting state is one of peace and quiet. I am quite hungry, and have been eating various things, from pasta to curry to chips and queso dip. I would say I have the munchies somewhat, although I did just hike all afternoon.
I was left with a residual quiet, still, peaceful headspace for the rest of the day, and I was able to sleep perfectly fine. All in all, it is hard to say what the total duration was, but I would say it was somewhere in the realm of 4-5 hours of actual measurable effects for me.
4-HO-McPT seems, at 60mg anyway, to be something that only verges on being psychedelic, and is mostly quite subtle, but pleasant. This matches with the reports I have read. It reminded me more than anything else of 4-MeO-MiPT, and also 4C-D, though it is lighter in body presence than either of those other substances. Like them, it is questionable whether it can really be classified as a "psychedelic", at least in the traditional sense. Like 4-MeO-MiPT, I found myself experiencing a quiet, content, thoughtful experience, which did not inhibit me in any way. I wasn't particularly drawn to socializing, yet socializing was pleasant and easy. I experienced a very pleasant, yet light body high that seemed to emanate from my solar plexus. I felt light and moving felt good and I had plenty of energy, but I was not in any way stimulated. The body feeling was among the most comfortable, or perhaps the
most comfortable, of any tryptamine I've tried, absolutely zero bodyload, but it was quite light. Visually, colors appeared more lovely and saturated, but there were absolutely no distortions of any kind. In terms of relative strength of the effects, I was at a +1, no more than that. I experienced stronger effects from both 4-MeO-MiPT and 4C-D.
My guess would be that pushing the dose will not substantially alter the effects... I get the sense there is a ceiling dosage, and that the nature of the effects of 4-HO-McPT is to be subtle and atypical for a psychedelic. There were no dark corners whatsoever, nothing negative to speak of at all. It was 100% pleasant and nice, but it was nothing to write home about... In fact the only reason I am writing a report at all is because I want to add mine to the body of knowledge out there. I had a good time, but I would have had a good time regardless. It is possible that if I had spent the time home by myself, I could have discovered some aspects of the experience that I didn't notice while hiking and conversing, but I suspect in reality I just would have been bored trying to close my eyes and go inward. I suspect there are so few reports because people didn't feel like it was really worth writing about, by and large. I have some more, and I will do it again, to be sure, and I will probably double my dosage just to see if it makes it substantially stronger. But I wouldn't spend any money getting more. There are far more interesting compounds out there to spend time and money on. That said, I plan to try it twice more, once at 30mg, and once at 120mg, to see what the similarities and differences are.
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