DOSE: T+ 0:00	1.7 g	oral	Mushrooms	(dried)
T+ 0:30	repeated	smoked	Cannabis

BODY WEIGHT:

150 lb

At the time of this experience I had been taking mushrooms about once a month for a little over a year. I was obsessed with them due to the incredibly wonderful experiences I had with them on my first dozen trips. This specific trip made me respect the mushroom, even fear the mushroom, since before this trip I had mainly treated them as a weed alternative. I did not have any concept of spirituality at the time, but rather an overzealous curiosity to experience the bizarre visuals and mystical hallucinations that I had read so much about. During this period of my life, I was an everyday potsmoker and somewhat of an alcoholic. I spent most of my days getting blasted off weed and was somewhat of an alcoholic. Mushrooms for me were a special occasion “drug” that I would take to experience the joys of weed, alcohol, and tobacco at their highest potential.

Two friends and I received about 5 grams of Penis Envy mushrooms (or at least the guy said they were). The five grams consisted of only three, large mushrooms that each looked completely unique compared to all other mushrooms I have taken. Mine was sort of shaped like a bottle cap with an off center neck. The top of the neck was flat and closed off and a small cap was protruding out of the side of the thicker base of the mushroom. Bert’s mushroom was a large, cartoonish mushroom with an extremely wide cap that had its own cap growing from the cap. Kert’s mushroom was the only one that looked semi-normal but was still very impressive due to its beautiful curvature and perfectly plump cap. To more fully explain the appearance of these disaster mushrooms, I seriously considered gluing them to my dresser to keep as ornamental decorations rather than ingesting them. The dealer was an avid tripper but told me that even he was scared to take them. Since then I have received penis envy a second time that looked much more normal so I really do not know what exactly we ingested this day, all I can say is that we were told that these mutations were in fact Penis Envy.

To begin the trip, we each weighed our mushrooms: mine came out to 1.7 grams, Kert’s was 1.5 grams, and Bert’s was 2.1 grams. In the past I have taken up to 6 grams in one day of “standard” mushrooms, but this 1.7 gram mushroom was much more powerful than the 6 grams of other mushrooms. Within 30 minutes of ingestion, all of us were very high. Normally when tripping with these two, we would smoke and listen to music and then go on a walk, but these things did not occur to us this time. After just half an hour since eating the mushrooms, Bert was lying on his back in the living room staring at the ceiling, Kert was walking in and out of my backyard repeatedly, and I was taking a hit of weed out of my bong each time Kert came outside. My friend C and I got stuck in a loop where he would ask me how long we had been tripping and I would say, "I don't know", followed by taking a bong toke of weed. I had never experienced this sort of thing before and it was so puzzling that I had no idea how to process it. I didn’t understand what tripping on mushrooms was, why I did it, or what I was supposed to do for the rest of the day. I would take a hit of weed, question what I had just done, and then say to Kert, “I don’t know” and then repeat. Within an hour I had already taken over 20 bong tokes of weed and he had asked me the question “how long have we been tripping” over 20 times.

What got me out of this loop was a strong need to urinate. I went to my side yard and began to pee, staring at the spot on the ground where the urine was hitting. My urine was bubbling and foaming when it hit the ground which made me believe that I had poisoned myself. “Why is it foam? Does it always do that?” At this point I could no longer remember the original version of anything in my life. I looked at Kert who appeared to be translucent but I could not remember if the mushrooms were doing this or if he had always looked like this. Like normal, the ground and walls began to bend, colors became more vibrant and things would appear to dance in the corners of my vision, but I was so confused by everything that I had no thoughts about the visuals. None of it was fun or enjoyable, just confusing. The main difference was that the colors and patterns of the walls and ground changed colors with each breath I took. Visual waves flowed through everything as if a veil was being lifted from this reality to show me what had been hiding.

However, some insanely powerful visions took over that I had never encountered. First of all, my hands had a glowing, bubbly webbing in between each finger that seemed to reflect rainbows in the sun. They looked like spiderwebs made out of rainbow bubbles. My fingers became overly sensitive; I became aware of each individual line in my fingerprints when I touched an object. My two friends started to look even more translucent than before and I got this strange sense that we were in the presence of some dark spirit. My two dogs looked afraid and the hallway of my house was so oddly lit and eerie that I was completely afraid of going past my living room. Both of my dogs love me very much, but the look of terror on their faces made me think that we were in possession of some demon or evil spirit. I also had the idea that an evil shaman had placed a cursed spell on these mushrooms to teach us a lesson (I was completely paranoid at this point, even borderline schizophrenic). What was so strange about the effects all of us were experiencing was that we were all discussing leaving my house throughout this hour and a half but none of us could grasp the idea of actually leaving. Its like we had no idea what was outside of my house and couldn’t grasp the concept of doing anything else than what we were doing for the last hour and a half.

At this point I somehow managed to put the B52s - Planet Claire on. To this day the three of us bring up this song and how ridiculous it sounded that day. My friend Bert yelled “what the f’ is this song! Why is it doing this!” My friend Kert and I were sitting on the couch listening to the song while my friend Bert laid on his back in the middle of my living room carpet staring at the ceiling. He said the ceiling was covered in bloated, beer-guts that were taking deep breaths (He compared them to Randy’s belly from Trailer Park Boys). All three of us listened to this song and began yelling at each other about why the intro was so long; we could not tell how long the song had been on. It felt like a half an hour when the song is actually only 5 minutes long. For some terrible reason I called one of our friends that none of us like and invited him over. I then sat in the backyard and stared at the ground. It was covered in rotating, golden octopus tentacles. Each tentacle was lined with ancient runes that were blinking a beautiful red color. It's strange that many people report seeing hieroglyphics while on psychedelics, but I had a Nordic sense or vibe from these runes. However, my attention was diverted before I could completely engulf myself in these beautiful hallucinations. I walked along these sea creatures and approached the outer wall of my house (it had the type of paint some houses have that has a bumpy appearance). On the walls of my house I observed tiny civilizations being built, industrialized, and then falling all in the matter of seconds, over and over again. I could see each individual person doing their own job, building buildings and growing plants. These cities were bright gold and silver and were not necessarily human. It's like I was seeing the essence of the city without actually seeing the people (I can’t make this part of the trip make sense with words).

At this time my friend appeared at the door and I had completely forgotten that I invited him over. We all sat in the backyard and my friend, Bert, who had been laying on the floor, sat across from the friend that had just come over, John. The two of them looked like 2 of the 3 kings that were sent to meet Jesus at his birth; I kept imagining that they both had great white beards and were wearing crowns and wizard coats. John had owed Bert and I $100 each for mescaline that he was supposed to get for us over a year ago. Bert began complaining to John about how he had betrayed us and that John was a terrible friend. Bert was completely red and out of breath from stating his feelings while covered in sweat, and John looked as if he were to cry. He hung his head in shame and apologized to all of us. Apparently, right before this happened, John was talking to Bert about demons that most likely set Bert off. I was sitting there observing the dialogue thinking to myself “what the hell am I watching? Is this real? Why am I so uncomfortable? Why are they so sweaty and sad?”

I became even more stressed, sick, and overwhelmed. I could no longer focus on anything and felt as if I was trapped in my house so I decided to kick everyone out. Right as I was kicking them out, two of my other friends were coming up to my door because I had also invited them over without realizing it. Since they were sober, I walked with them for a mile to their house. This walk was blissful and very psychedelic. The sky looked pixelated like a video game and the ground was warped. The streets and houses were smiling and greeting me as I walked by, and each step I took I heard a "boing" sound. I then heard the frog shaman meditating in my head, a deity that visited my mind during my first mushroom trip. Once we got to my friend's house, the body high of the mushroom had become so intense that I was no longer able to concentrate on anything or communicate. I felt very sick and sluggish, but also very nervous that I was too high. I began to doze off and envisioned that I was floating in the sky above a car crash. A person was dying in the road surrounded by paramedics and cop cars. I was then sucked into the dying person's body and felt my soul inflate itself to jolt the person back to life. As I did this I became conscious in my friend Ryan’s living room. Due to this even more confusing aspect of the trip, I sat down outside by the pool in a large wooden chair. The visuals were so insanely nauseating and swirly that I had to close my eyes. I think the visuals were so ridiculous that they were actually draining my energy. Also I had smoked about three grams of weed out of a bong and had no recollection of eating or drinking anything. After a few deep breaths in the chair with my eyes closed outside, I felt myself flying at high speeds through the ground into an abyss. I heard something along the lines of "never come back" and then saw a great claw in front of my face. The claw slapped me and left three ripped streaks across my vision. I woke up.

I was lying down next to the pool, shivering, with a bloody face. I walked inside and both of my friends were totally freaked out. I was very bloody and freezing on a 90 degree day in June. I spent the rest of the afternoon under the covers thankful to be alive and remorseful for angering the deity of psilocybin I had encountered. All I wanted to do was call my parents and tell them how much I appreciate them. Later that night I smoked a couple of cigarettes that felt twice as strong as usual and went to bed. As I reflect on this experience, I seriously question whether I was high enough to have one of those divine 5 gram experiences that Terence Mckenna often talks about. I think that I was headed on that path due to the last event in which I felt as if I were flying through the ground. This was probably going to lead to an out of body experience, but because of the awful set, setting, and preparation for the trip, as well as my deep disrespect for the mushroom, I was kicked out of my trip by an angry deity or spirit. Another possibility is that the mushrooms that we took were not natural or were in some way tampered with to cause all of us to have such a horrible time.

The next day when talking to Kert about the trip, he told me that he wandered around in the park by my house until his girlfriend picked him up. He then went home and cried for a while and doesn’t remember really anything past crying in his room. Bert on the other hand began calling all of his friends and had a great trip.

Exp Year: 2015	ExpID: 114888
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: Nov 18, 2020	Views: 875
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Mushrooms (39) : Entities / Beings (37), Combinations (3), General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)