DOSE:

smoked

Salvia divinorum

(extract - 5x)

BODY WEIGHT:

140 lb

At the time of this I got very dangerously into hallucinogens, despite that I always tried to research and keep updated and informed on what I did , eventually that in itself lead to a benzo addiction that left me being like "well whatever salvia is, if it makes me hallucinate I'll try it".

I had like, a week where I was off benzos for a convention, that con actually was where I smoked leaf matter and had a small breakthrough (I was on a lot at the time which probably contributed) but I was the only one of my friends that felt anything which probably was a sign of my sensitivity.

Visiting a friend, they had salvia 5x extract and we smoked increasing amounts for a few hours, increasing being that the extract was small pine needle looking bits, and I'd add one more and more until I felt something, I had no idea salvia had a reverse tolerance at the time either, so after a few hours I packed a lot more than I had previously into a bubbler, and took the hit, remember putting the bubbler outside, my only thought being "I will get in trouble if this is inside" then after that my brain just blanked, completely unable to think.

I was pulled into what I felt was a "loading screen" where I was being ripped apart into tiny bits, felt like individual cells of my body were flying apart, with a shepherd tone of the gamecube booting screen? (like when you first turn it on but it kept going up forever) I then remember being a bodyless viewer, just observing a massive (like maybe 50x50 or more miles) cube that felt like the edges of all reality, there were clouds forming at the top, lightning building through it, entire seas and lakes in the ground under it, an entire small ecosystem.

I then felt like I was moving and rolling forward and upwards, I tried to look around but my vision was locked in front of me, I used my peripheral vision to determine I was part of a huge forward rotating cylinder, as soon as I figured that out I was able to finally look around, where I was passed the top of the rotation and started moving downwards towards a huge plane of tiles in the ground that lined up perfectly with tiles on the cylinder, I kept trying to scream as I was lowered because I thought I would be crushed and destroyed under the cylinder when I hit the ground but as I got closer and closer I saw that the cylinder was hovering maybe 15 feet above the floor, and leaving "tiles" above the tiles on the ground, then some thick black fluid would "reach up" and attach to them, and pull them down. It felt like a universal concept that I should inherantly understand but didn't, that I had signed up for where I was but couldn't do anything about it at this point, like regretting getting on a too intense roller coaster.

Eventually I rotated into place and got "laid" onto my tile, I felt my body form as a fuzzy negative space, I then started realizing that the insides of the tiles were like an undisturbed surface of water, kind of shimmery and reflective, I kept trying to figure out what it was but it felt like my eyes couldn't focus or wouldn't work if I was specifically at it, at this point the "tile" that I was became semi-formed and had the black goop attach to me, grabbing my full attention, I felt it pull me down and started trying to scream again.

I somehow separated from the tile without realizing it and started looking around, standing now above the tiles, finally realizing that they were "portals" intuitively when they contained images of my friend's apartment I was in, top down, watching me laying on the floor almost asleep and looking holding the torch lighter while the friend was making eggs (which they actually were) I then started freaking out, trying desperately to remember "what the right portal would look like" because they all looked the same except very minor differences, while looking around I saw one of those "black goop" pillars that was slowly pulling down the tile next to me, I looked closer and realized it was a humanoid figure with its mouth locked in a huge, constant scream, like jaw dislocated scream. They started inching towards me as the tiles were crushing them into the black sea of goop, I got so immediately overwhelmed that I dove into the tile that I had felt I was earlier, like that was a normal thing just oh I was this so might as well chose it, but as soon as I did I was back in my body, and looked at my roommate, heard myself say (like never processed the thought or wanted to) "you're the reason that was so terrible" and I actually just curled in the fetal position on the carpet for a few minutes while everything wore off. The whole time I thought I heard voices telling me that I made the wrong choice, I chose the wrong portal and I'd never be able to go back.

For months I genuinely believed I was still in the salvia trip and I'd wake up at my friends apartment, I was reckless and self destructive, I picked up a nicotine habit I finally recently kicked for a while because of the thought that I'd wake up in my friend's apartment just coming off salvia.

Exp Year: 2018	ExpID: 114827
Gender: Not Specified
Age at time of experience: 22
Published: Oct 7, 2020	Views: 526
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Salvia divinorum (44) : Difficult Experiences (5), Post Trip Problems (8), General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)