Citation: Greatfulguy. "I Never Felt High Just Normal: An Experience with Ketamine (exp114722)". Erowid.org. Sep 16, 2020. erowid.org/exp/114722
Ketamine Clinic Experience for PTSD
I'm a high functioning patient with PTSD from sexual abuse as a child. I actually became a doctor but struggled with PTSD for 35 years before finally becoming aware that I had a problem and finally getting help. I started with psychotherapy then cognitive and dialectical behavioral therapy and both helped ALOT but I still struggled with the emotions of others in interpersonal relationships which set off my amygdala. I needed more help and never liked the usual SSRIs etc which didnít make me feel any better. The biggest problem I have is confrontations and emotions trigger me. With psychotherapy I was able to control my reactions somewhat better but some things still trigger me without warning.
Iíll skip to the chase now. I walked into the second ketamine infusion (first being a very low dose to see how I would react) feeling triggered by a recent argument ruminating over and over again about details of the argument unable to break free from that funk. In a snap of a finger just like the first infusion I broke free from it and that alone made me feel euphoric. There was no opioid-like euphoria just a feeling of weight being lifted off my shoulders and immense amount of clarity came over me. I did not stop thinking about how much I love my wife and kids for two hours although it felt like five minutes. I never felt high just normal and for me after being dragged down for 30+ yrs with at rooms of PTSD this felt more than fantastic. It felt like I was the person I could have been and should be. I noticed that at the same time I began feeling this incredible introspection and clarity I also became aphasic and unable to speak the thoughts I was thinking when the doc checked on me. And this was consistent between infusions. I have read that PTSD is a result of too much amygdala activation with not enough prefrontal cortex inhibition and I imagine it works in the prefrontal cortex. There was also a predictable going up and coming down kind of feeling and I it felt like my consciousness shrunk to the size of a pea in my brain and was flowing in some sort of river I darkness.
For me it was what I was always looking for. It works best combined with cognitive behavioral therapy.
COPYRIGHTS: All reports are copyright Erowid and you agree not to download or analyze the report data without contacting Erowid Center and receiving permission first.
Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.