Citation: daysturnintonights. "Falling For a Drug: An Experience with LSD (exp114465)". Erowid.org. Jun 8, 2020. erowid.org/exp/114465
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I have never been interested in trying drugs. I grew up thinking I would never drink or do drugs due to personal reasons. I slowly grew open to the idea of alcohol due to my ex. I never really cared about it though. After leaving him, I found my current boyfriend (who I will be calling Nathan) who has been the biggest blessing on my life so far. He used to do drugs a few years before he had met me. He knew how to be safe and respectful to the drugs he took. He eventually opened my eyes to weed and slowly my own fascination grew to more interesting drugs. I was highly interested in the psychoactive side of weed because I had no idea that was a part of it, and it was fascinating. Then came the knowledge of LSD, but I was scared of having a bad trip like so many others fear. I had done research and thought about it a lot.
One day, after we both had a good day at work, I brought up the idea of taking LSD. We had come into possession of two tabs of LSD recently. We were saving them for the right occasion. Me bringing it up gave him the idea of having us try a quarter tab. I felt great that day, so I decided why not. A quarter couldnít be that bad. It was a fourth of the full tab. So we did.
We took a quarter tab around midnight and watched some youtube to pass the time until things started to kick in a little bit. I had no idea what to expect about a quarter of a tab. I had done research about LSD a lot and asked Nathan lots of questions, but a quarter was unfathomable. So I expected nothing and just let whatever happen, happen. I was nervous no doubt though, but I just remembered everything would be fine.
I didnít know what to expect with the changes so I didnít even notice anything had kicked in for a while. It was about 45-50 minutes before I noticed, but only when Nathan asked how I felt. Everything just felt fun. I felt good. I was vibing with myself and the world. We talked about how we were feeling a bit. I noticed I felt it was slightly harder to breathe, and my stomach was beginning to twist and turn. Nathan told me that was the light version of that intense feeling he had been telling me about. I understood what he meant then. We hit our first peak at some point within this time frame, but I couldnít tell when. It was my first time experiencing it at all.
Maybe 20 more minutes had passed, and Nathan said to me, "do you want to take the other quarter? It's this but more intense. We might get on the verge of tripping as well." I responded with, ďyeah dude, I feel good. Why not?Ē So we did and watched more youtube in the meantime.
Eventually Nathan suggested music because he had songs he wanted to hear while tripping, and I wasnít against it. The songs were so wonderful. They felt so beautiful, flowy, and intune. Then we decided to put on our favorite album. It was something he was so excited for before we even got the LSD.
We hit our second peak during it within a couple songs. It was the best experience ever. It was so flowy, loud, and perfect. After the album we just kind of hung out and talked. I felt heavy but not. Like I was constantly having to stop from melting into the ground. I kept sitting in bed and slowly falling backwards or forwards. Moving was weird. Everything was weird. Nathan suggested we eat a cookie we had been saving for later. I knew that would probably be a bad idea. He had bad experiences while eating and tripping before due to the lack of taste, but I wanted to just see for myself. It was the most disgusting thing I had ever eaten. It also looked so discolored and made it even worse.
Nothing was visually moving that intensely, but my visual stuff would kick in more when I was listening to music. My ceiling was extremely cool. The popcorn ceiling I had was covered in dust near the fan. It looked like bugs. During songs, they were constantly moving, shifting, and making patterns. It was so amazing to look at and that alone made me want to do a full tab or more to see those more intensely. I knew seeing eyes was common too, but I saw almost no eyes in objects. Only a few. One in my flag, a few in our curtains, and faces in the wallpaper in the bathroom. The ones in the curtains gave me a feeling of fear, but I told myself to look away and remember it was all fine. I also experienced a couple sounds of audio hallucinations. I heard a few bugs flying by my ear and head without there being anything there. I actively reminded myself nothing was actually there whenever that would happen.
At this point, an hour or so had passed and Nathan said that he recognized that the tabs were more potent than expected because we were past the verge of tripping but not by that much. Whenever I went in the bathroom, I would turn the fan on. It was actually the most intense thing I had ever felt. The sound shook me to my core and basically made me feel like I was near impending doom. It scared me but I was like what the fuck this is kind of cool. Not horrified. It just felt so intense. Like I was being enclosed in a box of sound. One that was shrinking if I stood there for too long.
The bathroom was also the only room during this entire time I saw super vibrant intense eye visuals. The wallpaper in the bathroom would basically disappear, and it became this super vibrant orange mandala pattern that was constantly moving. It only happened if I was looking in a specific area for at least 5 seconds or so. It was so fucking rad but also that feeling of doom was constantly in the room due to the fan. It was so overwhelming being in it alone. I didn't like staying in it for too long. Logically I should have just turned the fan off, but I felt this feeling that would wave back and forth of the self-conscious part of my brain. It would cause me trouble because I felt so self-conscious randomly.
Whenever I looked into the mirror, it was one of the coolest things. My eyes looked so pronounced and vibrant. I looked fucking gorgeous. Something I had rarely seen in myself. I was however a little freaked out a couple times while staring at myself, but I looked so good so I couldnít help it. Nathanís eyes actually looked fucking awesome. His pupils to me looked like snake eyes with a vertical pupil. It was so fascinating, and I wanted to stare at him forever. His skin was so pigmented and bronzed. His tan was so prominent.
I was very self-conscious randomly about the most ridiculous things. Nathan would encourage me to let go of that feeling. To make peace with it, so I could just be utterly and completely myself. We talked a lot because I just wanted to talk about what I was feeling so badly. He encouraged it. At one point, I had mentioned my stomach pressure feeling had increased. He suggested throwing up to help release that feeling of pressure and intensity. So I did. He sat next to me to encourage. I didnít have much in my stomach, but I tried. It helped tremendously.
The other feeling I got was a constant possible fear/terror. It was very interesting and not something I expected. Basically in the corner of my eyes, which of course felt wider, was 1000% scarier if something seemed to be there. I would look at it and feel slight fear before realizing everything is fine. That knowledge didn't go away unless I was listening to music. So I basically always felt like I could be scared shitless if I let myself go towards that feeling too much.
There was a moment that I thought I saw someone coming in the room from the corner of my eye. It was so intense that I actually got super scared for about 3 seconds, but I immediately was like nope everything is fine. I tried really hard to fight that terror that had built up. I did give Nathan a scare while doing that though. I basically had stopped breathing, gasped loudly, and looked very quickly at the door.
After a certain point, I realized the songs felt like they took hours long. It got to the point of feeling like they were too long during the song. It was very weird. However I also felt like for a good portion of the beginning that I was getting worried that we would run out of time. That the drug would end too fast. I was used to having weed edibles and listening to music. After an album maybe some light sleep, you felt like it was already over. I eventually got over that feeling though.
Nathan after a random song had sat up and said, ďhey let's go outside to see the sunrise.Ē I was shocked because.. the sun? Even though the songs felt hours long, the entirety of the music felt so short. And then I realized that everything we had just done was forgotten. My brain had already moved on to the next thing. So we did. We got our clothes on and headed towards the door. I followed after him, but not that close because of something I canít remember.
Now let me tell you.
This was fucking life changing. I walked out of the bedroom door, but not yet to the backdoor. There was a wall in the way of the view to the backdoor. Nathan walked up and told me to come see. I followed him in what felt like slow motion. He walked outside, and I saw through the door a scene that I will never forget. It looked surreal, and the sound was so beautiful. The plants and trees looked the most vibrant I've ever witnessed. To the point where I was extremely overwhelmed with green. It had rained overnight as well so the air smelled of dew. The sky had the most perfect sunrise. It wasn't fully there. It was mostly a dark blue sky with an orange red pocket that was very pretty.
The thing that got me the most was the sound of all the animals. All the noises of the birds, frogs, and whatever made noises made the entire experience like the amazon rainforest. It was so fucking beautiful. I just wanted to lay in the grass so badly, and Nathan encouraged it. I will also say though, the entire time of this all, I had INTENSE melancholy and INTENSE self-consciousness. I felt sadness and I'm not sure why, but that's something I get from being in nature occasionally. I do think my depression causes it to do that sometimes.
So I got my coat, and we walked down the steps and the wet grass and mud felt so amazing against my feet. Absolutely amazing. I didn't lay in the grass, but we walked around alot. We eventually went to a tree, and he told me to touch it. I was fighting that part of me that was self conscious, but I did. I had to really focus on it though. It felt like the textile felt. It felt surreal. It was so interesting to touch. But me being self conscious and having trouble letting that go was hard, so it was hard to really get the best out of that specific experience. We stood under a bunch of trees, and it felt so intensely green and pretty. It was all so pretty. The birds and frogs singing music to my ears. Everything was so nice. We kissed and shared a moment under the trees and the beautiful scenery. I fell more in love with him if that's even possible.
We waited for god knows how long before we heard a meow coming from the front of the house. My cat walked up, and we realized she had been out exploring all night. Nathan felt a tinge of sadness due to that, but I felt so differently. Up until then, everything outside was so overwhelming to my eyes. Then I saw her stroll up. She was the most crisp and clear image I had ever seen. Her big beautiful eyes had massive dilated pupils too. Nathan joked she stole some blotter from us and joined in. She was so incredibly white compared to everything around her. Her fur was the softest thing I had ever touched in my entire life. I cannot even explain how lovely it felt to my fingers.
We finally decided to go inside after finding her. Inside felt so bland and honestly just made me sadder than that melancholy feeling. We opened our windows which were right behind and pressed against our bed. The sun had risen a little bit. It was so beautiful, and this is where we started to come down. And I have to say, the coming down and the afterglow was the absolute best feeling I've ever had in my entire life. We lied on our pillows basically hanging out of the window and stared at the world. The ground, the trees, the sky, my cat walking around, and our dog walking around following her wherever she went. You name it. The ground looked so fucking green and so amazingly beautiful. My cat was still stunning. She shined like the moon. I've been with her for 9+ years, and I've formed an intense bond with her. I could really feel it then, and I hoped she could too.
The trees in front of our windows rustled, and the birds chirping was so peaceful. I lost all sadness and melancholy and was fully and utterly at peace. We stared at the world for hours. Probably about 3 hours or so. The sun slowly came up that entire time, and it felt more like 6 hours. We thought about a lot in these few hours. I thought A LOT about me, the world, my life, and Nathan. I felt so happy that I found him and so happy that he existed. I felt so happy that I had my cat and our dog. I felt everything was right with the world, and I fit into it nicely. I wanted to cry. It was the first time I felt like that, and it made me feel so good and full of pure bliss and subtle joy. As we laid there, the sun came up and brighten the entire world. We talked and talked about the experience, the world, us, nature, the drug, and everything.
My cat laid next to me, and I felt so much peace and content. I would stare at Nathan sometimes, and he would look so beautiful with the way the light shined on him and the way his skin and features looked. There were a few times that I was staring below the window at this little grassy land of green and brown. I felt the sensation and desire to slip out the window and fall into the grass and mud, letting it swallow me whole. I imagined I would fall into a black void of liquid if I did, but felt so much peace at the idea.
Eventually we started listening to music again. I felt very wispy, light, and airy through the entirety of the music. I love that feeling so much. Itís such a beautiful feeling. It was amazing. We eventually got up to shower, but ended up having sex. We left our windows open while we did, and it was some of the best sex Iíve ever had. Afterwards we laid there with the birds chirping and a breeze from the window. It was such a lovely feeling. We finally got up and showered, but it was tough. It was hot and our air felt like it was being stolen by the humidity that was growing. It was hard, but very interesting to experience. We finished, got ready, and headed out to shop for groceries. Stepping outside to the backyard again was horrible. The sun was so damn blindingly bright, and I got a hot flash immediately as its rays hit my body. Walking out the front door was completely different from the back. This door was on the same wall our bedroom windows were on. It was so absolutely beautiful.
We left, and the car ride was the most magical thing.
I was so in love with everything.
We took the scenic route as well, and it was so beautiful. We got chick-fil-a and sat in our car in the parking lot listening to music under the shade. We went grocery shopping afterwards which was an experience. It was crazy because we were basically confused but laughing the whole time and in our own world. We went to two different stores to make it even funnier. It was a wild time. Afterwards we went home and tried our best not to fall asleep so as to not ruin our sleep schedule.
It was overall an amazing experience that felt so long and intense. Each thing felt like different sections of time and eventually felt like different days entirely. It was so interesting and fascinating, and I was so very into it all. Even the fearful moments. I loved it all. I also used a lot of my thoughts while coming down to work on myself and come to terms with me as a human being. It helped me try to work through things I had been dealing with. It would have helped more, but I spent most of the time amazed at how I was feeling and the world around me.
Overall the experience was fascinating, and I learned a lot about the drug. I fell a little bit in love with it and the feelings it showed me. I canít wait to learn more about it and about me.
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