Citation: stoned goat. "Horrible Paranoia and Deja Vu ~Two Bad Trips: An Experience with Cannabis (exp11420)". Erowid.org. Oct 21, 2019. erowid.org/exp/11420
The story I am about to explain has got to be one of the most terrifying expierences I have ever had in my life. I'm not sure why what I'm about to explain to you happened, I probably just had too much pot.
I probably just had too much pot.
I had recently began smoking marijuana. School had just started and I had obtained some fairly decent pot. So my friend came over after school and we proceeded to get high. This was the first time I had TRUELY been high. I had smoked pot before but it was horrible down town brown obtained by friends of a friend who knew nothing about pot quality. Me and my friend made a cheap pipe cut some herb and packed a bowl. We then went to a room cracked a window and started burning...we had packed a considerably large bowl for how decent the pot was and probbably smoked alot more than needed. After we had finished we went to the bathroom to rinse with mouthwash to get the smell off our breaths...on the way there one of us did something obviously very funny and we went on a huge giggle frenzy for about 10 minutes as we proceeded to TRY to swish some mouthwash to get the smell off our breaths. After we had finished our giggling we sat down. This was also a wonderful expiernce. I was completely content. My head was moving involentarily in a clockwise circular motion and I couldnt stop it. It was so awesome. I was completely happy for no reason at all and my head was moving without me telling it to...I could go on as to how amazing this was, but eventualy it ended and my friend had to leave. I was still sorta high after he left, but wanted to feel that way again. (note* I have never had a trip as good as that one till this day, it was truely amazing)
I had remembered reading on the net on how to make bud butter so I took some butter put it in a pan and proceeded to mix in 1 bud. I let it simmer for about 7 minutes then pit it in a small saucer and put it into the freezer to harden.
While I was waiting for the butter to harden I went and made a bowl the same size as before with my friend and took 10 huge hits till I felt a full feeling in my stomach as if I had eaten a gallon of ice cream or somethin...then stopped. I was realy realy realy baked now but didnt realy notice how gone I was. I didnt feel so good but figured I went through all the trouble of making that bud butter that I should eat it. So I took it outta the freezer and spread it on some crackers, went downstairs, and ate it. The bud actualy made the butter taste better kinda sweet. Once I was down to the last cracker I was horrible sick but didnt want to waste so I finished up. Then I went upstairs to throw away my paper plate and get some water.
This is where the bad trip starts happening. As I was filling a glass of water I started to black out. Sorta like a fly sees lots of one immage I saw lots of one black dot in my eye and lost about 5 percent of my vision to these black dots that started to block my vision. These black dots multiplied as I headed towards the basement door. At the top of the stairs I had lost about 40 percent of my vision to the black dots. Then once I was halfway down the stairs I lost about 70 to 80 percent and the dots were now my vision instead of blackness. Once I reached the bottome of the stairs I had lost about 95 percent and some how mirraculously made it to the couch. As I laid down I slowly regained vision and my stomach felt a little better. I was pretty out of it. I cant remember alot after this, but I think I just rested and went to bed early.
The next morning I woke up and was high! I dunno how, but I was high. And not a normal high either. It was like I got high and had a touch of anxious paranoia except the only part of the high I was feeling was the paranoia. My eyes were blood shot. I was freaked out. I was constantly fearing whether or not my father knew I was fucked up or not. After a hot shower I felt realy bad and light headed and proceeded to call me friend and ask him if I should tell my father and stay home. He said I was fine and should NOT tell my father and jus go to school...this was a mistake.
So anyways I listened and my friend and his sis came to pick me up and take me to school. On the way there I'm not sure about what exact words were exchanged, but I was afraid his sister knew and had said some realy dumb things... It was pretty bad. Basically the whole school day I was mortally terified. I had told some friends of mine I thought I was high (this was stupid and I am still paying for telling my so called friends how fucked up I was) and spent the whole school day paranoid thinking that everyone knew I was high and talking about it with their friends. It was awful. Later at school we all met for an assembly. It was AWFULL. The whole school met in the gym and the noise was getting to me. I imagined that alot of the people behind me knew I was high and was laffing at me and my situation. Later a principal came aronud to round up a trouble maker by me. I thought she knew I was high and was pointing at me. Turns out some kids behind me were doing something. Anyway so that ended and school let out later and I finnaly got home. I was still realy weirded out and proceeded to rest the rest of the day.
Later that night I sat down and confessed to my father what had happened. Lucky for me my father was sympathetic and talking to him helped calm me down.
Lucky for me my father was sympathetic and talking to him helped calm me down.
My mind was now a little eased that I had spoken with my father and got shit off my chest..but for two days after I was still weirded out by this weird feeling that sorta lingered in my head. Its hard to describe but its like I was realy realy anxious 24/7 and slightly paranoid all the time the 3 days I felt like this. I'm not sure to this day why the feeling lasted that long and why it was the bad feeling of pot smoking and not some other feeling. After that I went on a HUGE quest for pros and cons on marijuana. I decided that it was safe and I would smoke again. So I did and things were fine from then on.
I can recall another time were I got REALY paranoid from smoking to much. I had taken 4 huge bong hits and probably killed a lung... And then proceeded to have 4 to 16 deja vu expiernces per minute and thought that the reason deja vu happened was because I had made some sort of mistake so God had turned back time so I could have another chance and get it right (this belief was due to an x-file episode I had seen a while back where fox relived the same day 3 or 4 times till he did it right). I at first started telling my friend of these deja vu I was having and he said I was paranoid and to jus relax. I tried but couldnt and eventualy stopped telling him about my deja vu. This was BAD! As it forced me to try to interprit what was happening and since paranoia had control I continualy thought that I was making life choice mistakes and eventualy came to the conclusion that I had failed my life mission by smoking those two bowls of pot. I had COMPLETELY convinced myself I had fucked up my ENTIRE life for good and that I had no purpose in living anymore. I eventauly fell asleep and the next morning. Felt better and realized how paranoid I was. I was amazed!!! I was so paranoid I thought I had ruined my life. Luckily I woke up normal enough to realize my life was just fine.
So these are my bad trips on pot...after much self examination I discovered that I tend to expierence alot of deja vu and paranoia if I smoke too much pot.
I discovered that I tend to expierence alot of deja vu and paranoia if I smoke too much pot.
Since those times I have become much more expeirenced and rarely expierence paranoia and when I do its much more managable beacause of the expiernce I've had with paranoia.
I'm not sure why some are affected this way and others not...but it is my expiernce that paranoia is usauly a result of smoking a little more than needed. I know thats the case with me. I am now since older and rarely get paranoid. I'm not sure why I was fucked up for those 3 days or thought my life was ruined ...but I do know I have never been more terrified in all of my short existance. I have learned much about myself from those expierences and have become a much more responsible user because of them.
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