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The Time I Thought I Died
LSD
by Joe
Citation:   Joe. "The Time I Thought I Died: An Experience with LSD (exp114166)". Erowid.org. Mar 13, 2020. erowid.org/exp/114166

 
DOSE:
  insufflated Cocaine (powder / crystals)
    oral LSD (blotter / tab)

BODY WEIGHT: 150 lb


This was my second time doing LSD. We went up to a cabin that my friends had on a lake to do molly and coke with whatever we had. A couple of my friends left to go pick up the drugs it was my buddy I and his gf.

We started talking about LSD cause I had just tripped (200ug) for my first time a month prior (keep in mind my first time doing LSD I took half a bar of xanax so I wouldn't have a bad trip). I was talking about how amazing it was. My friend then says hey I got some tabs in my wallet that I don't think I'm going to do want them? The stupid person I was I said hell yeah thinking it would go as good as my first trip (boy was I wrong) so I took them 10 mins later.

Our friends came back with coke and molly. I did a line of coke thinking fuck it I'll be good. About 30mins later I started tripping it was pretty chill just staring at the ceiling of the cabin. My friends give me some banter not a big deal used to just them giving me a hard time and fucking around. Then it was time for us to leave prob like 3am at this point. So I get in the car in the back seat I can't see the road which I think was the main problem for this bad trip. We are out in the middle of nowhere it's raining the driver had like a drink or two which gave me anxiety. [Erowid Note: Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!] Mixed with everything else I remember time slowing down in my head I had thought we crashed into a tree or something. I remember looking around the car with the music skipping. I started thinking to myself holy fucking shit this is what death feels like saw all my friends moaning in agony around me I felt a warm sticky substance on my neck which I though was blood and my ribs felt like they were broken. I sat there and thought to myself we are in the middle of nowhere no help is coming.

I started thinking about how I've done nothing with my life
I started thinking about how I've done nothing with my life
(18 at the time fresh out of high school). I was scared and left with so much regret and resentment towards myself for not doing anything with my life. That just kept repeating over and over again in my head it felt like hours years even. Until I finally took a breath, the thing around my neck was just my grandmother's necklace which I almost ripped off. I gasped for air told my friend to pull over which he did stood out of the car with my hands on my head. I looked around and said did we just fucking crash they looked at me in shock replied how hard are you tripping bro. I was liking pretty fucking hard you have no clue what I just experienced. Funny enough 2 of my friends who wanted to do LSD that night for the first time and I bought it for them were in that town which was an hour drive away from where we lived. My buddy was trip sitting so I called him told him what was going on he's like all good bro come to j's house (our friend). Got dropped of there cause I couldn't be in a fucking car any longer. Came through the door note my friends who were on acid didn't know I was coming. I came in lied down on the floor they said Joe how the fuck did you get here. All I said to them was I'm on acid. Those fuckers were mind blown on how I bought them acid 4 hours earlier then they went out of town and then I went out of town with no plans to do acid. Though I somehow showed up there. They were astonished I was having a bad trip but the looks on their face made it all better. Eventually left j's house around 5am I was still terrified of crashing had them stop for like 5 min. Finally worked up myself to trust the trip sitter one of my best friends. He ask Joe where do you want to go I looked at him and said home I need my six my bed as well as my cat. He said alright. Got home trip for another 6 hours felt horrible could sleep till the evening. That trip felt like I went through fucking hell and back but when I was with my friends laying on the floor tripping with them it was the best feeling in the world just vibing off each other.

It's been just over a year since all this took place. Do to me thinking I died I had a panic disorder for about 8 months and couldn't wear my grandmother's necklace because it triggered me but I'm probably about 80% recovered now. If done a fuck ton of drugs that year but since 2020 started I've weened myself off them and kept to mainly alcohol cause I landed a very good job making estimated about 60g a year. I still get flashbacks to that trip because I remember it so vividly and find myself questioning if maybe I actually did die in a car accident and that I was already dead. I decided to say fuck it though if I'm already dead then so be it. I've applied for school to go into biochem.
I decided to say fuck it though if I'm already dead then so be it. I've applied for school to go into biochem.
Everything is looking up for me soon I'll quit partying in general and just focus on school and work.

That LSD trip fucked me up but it was a reality check for me over a year later. When I finally realized I need to get my shit together. I don't know if I regret it or not but one thing for sure it helped me toughen up and smarten up about my decisions.

Exp Year: 2018ExpID: 114166
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 18 
Published: Mar 13, 2020Views: 749
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LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Bad Trips (6)

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