Citation: Pablo. "The Universe/God Realizes It Is Dreaming: An Experience with 1P-LSD, Ketamine & Nitrous Oxide (exp114149)". Erowid.org. Mar 11, 2020. erowid.org/exp/114149
This is a report on a trip that I (“Pablo”) experienced with a friend (“Anna”) on 1P-LSD. Anna and I barely knew each other before this weekend started. I asked Anna out for a beer on Friday, and met again the next couple of days to hang out. We developed a sense of trust and understanding for one another, despite only having known each other for a couple of days only. We realized we are quite open to experimenting and decided to try ketamine together on Sunday evening. This was Anna’s first experience with the substance. I have had had a lot of experience with psychedelic and dissociative drugs over the past couple of years. It was a very positive experience, and we decided to do 1P-LSD the next day. This would be Anna’s first experience with 1P-LSD (she had had previous experiences with MDMA and mushrooms).
This report will outline the feelings of the trip and then focus on a very odd state of consciousness that I experienced during the trip. I am writing this report, but will add some of the experiences that Anna had as well. The report has been written the day following the experience.
T-0:00 - Anna (1 blotter 120ug 1P-LSD), Pablo (2.5 blotters 120ug 1P-LSD). I has some tolerance since I consumed 1.75 1P-LSD blotters 9 days before.
I had some 1P-LSD from an online vendor. I had consumed roughly 7 blotters of the sheet throughout the past year, and had had no negative reactions to it. We consumed the substance at around 16:00 on a Monday at Anna’s house. We did a little ceremony before the consumption, put on our boots, and went out for a hike. We spent around an hour walking uphill in a small valley in the city that led to some forest in the outskirts. We felt the body load hit us at this point, and walking uphill clearly sped-up the start of the trip.
We eventually were outside of the city, in a forest area, where we walked to a watching tower at the top of the mountain. Visuals were very pretty for both of us, and we clearly noted the colors in the forest morph and enjoyed a sense of awe. Speaking was possible, albeit clear thinking was a bit complicated for both. There were no significant changes in internal mind-set for me at this point, but I felt happy and at peace. We sat on a bench at the top of the tower and watched the sun set. We were never alone in this tower (it offers a great view of the town and nearby fields, so some people walk up here for the view), but we were comfortable with them and enjoyed the moment. We enjoyed the visuals that nature offered us and had a pleasant time. Anna described the horizon as being “wavy”.
Once the sun was gone, we decided to head back home. I would see very bright colors on the buildings, while Anna had some stronger visuals. It was now dark outside and there were people walking in the streets. We were both looking forward to being alone in a warm, safe place.
T-3:00 Consumption of N2O
At Anna's home, we got comfortable and went to her room. We put on some music, and I got some laughing gas for us. We only had one balloon so we shared turns consuming the substance. Anna had at this moment strong open-eye visuals and a good mood. I had weak visuals (common for me), but was in a good mood. Anna experienced the combination of laughing gas and psychedelics for the first time, and enjoyed the experience.
We both reached the peak of the experience around this time. We enjoyed listening to music (classic rock; Pink Floyd) and being close to each other, and started to have sex. I have a tribal tattoo on the right side of my abs. Anna mentioned that at this moment, the tattoo would follow a lizard (part of the tattoo) all around my body, and at times she saw my whole body being tattooed with the same pattern.
T~5:00 Consumption of ketamine (eyeballed; Anna~25mg, Pablo~35mg) and marijuana + tobacco
Until now, our attention had been very focused on what we feel; however, being in a closed setting shifted my attention to my more personal existential questions. I am unsure if the Universe exists at all, if consciousness is individual or universal, and if the Universe is headed towards entropy-death or if it will collapse on itself and start again. We took some ketamine and prepared more N2O. This part of the story focuses on an experience that I had, which resulted on what is likely the strongest, weirdest state of consciousness I have ever experienced. I do not remember if I consumed marijuana and tobacco before or after this experience.
I have, for the last couple of years, experienced Deja-Vu feelings during my trips. I feel as if I have already experienced the trip, and that lets me feeling confused about what point in time I am really in. When this feeling occurred this time on laughing gas, I started to think I was trapped in a time loop. At this point, my understanding of reality is very limited. Recalling exactly how I felt during this whole experience is almost impossible, but this paragraph will try to explain it:
I thought that the event of my lying on this bed, taking a balloon, blasting off, and having the trip had occurred in the exact same way multiple times. I “knew” this had happened before, and remembered that I tried to escape the loop each time I experience it.
I “knew” this had happened before, and remembered that I tried to escape the loop each time I experience it.
For some reason, however, after trying to “exit” the loop, it would start over again. Every time the loop started again, however, I would realize a bit sooner that I was in the time loop and would try to exit earlier every iteration. It is unclear if this “time loop” was all imaginary or if it was an artifact of my having laid down in bed and taken consecutive hits of laughing gas. Whatever it was, this time I realized quite early in the loop what was happening and jumped out of the bed in the hopes that “waking up” from the time loop would finally end it.
As I did so, the strongest state of altered consciousness that I have experienced began. I felt as if by breaking the time loop, the whole of the Universe was about to collapse. I felt as if I was the entire conscious mind of the Universe realizing everything that had happened so far was a dream, and that by “waking up” from it, the Universe would now have to collapse back to nothingness. Time felt as if it was moving to a beat of 4 speeding looping drums (that is the only way I can explain part of this feeling), and that time and all existence would now cease to exist and collapse into me. The Universe had realized it was dreaming, and once broken the illusion of existence, it could no longer sustain consciousness. It is important to clarify that I did not “think” those things were happening, but rather “experienced” those things happen.
I eventually came back to “awareness” and fell to my knees, unsure of how I even ended up out of the bed. In Anna’s eyes, I had taken the laughing gas, jumped out of the bed, did some weird yelling and said some words (maybe “I understand now”, but she is not sure and I do not remember either), and then came back to normal. I has absolutely no idea how to categorize the feeling I had, but consider it to have been by far the strongest feeling I have ever felt.
T~6:00 Consumption of marijuana and alcohol
I struggled to understand what had happened, but my previous experiences with psychedelics, meditation, and cold-water showers helped me keep a clear and positive mindset even after that moment. After this experience, I laid off consuming more hard drugs. Anna’s good mood was unaffected, she enjoyed some more laughing gas and we enjoyed cuddling with each other.
We were almost back to baseline (expect for the marijuana+tobacco) and to finally settle down the experience, we opened a bottle of wine, and we each had a glass. Some food was prepared too. We fell asleep a couple of hours afterwards, sharing our thoughts and the day's experiences with each other.
I have no words to describe how overwhelming that moment was. Time was both looping and moving at the beat of speeding drums, and I was unsure if time was now going backwards to the point where the Universe first began. In the moment, I was no longer the one experiencing this; rather, the Universe (or God, who for me are the same thing) was the one who had the experience.
I would like to know if anyone has had a similar experience, and if a “categorization” for the state of mind I reached exists. I know that my report probably lacks enough details for this to be possible, but I cannot find the words to describe how intense the feeling was. Despite the “negative” connotation of the experience, I am glad to have had it. I have also decided to take a break from hard drugs for at least some months.
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