Citation: Eli. "I Totally Underestimated the Strength of Withdrawal: An Experience with Phenibut, Kratom & Brivaracetam (exp114081)". Erowid.org. Feb 20, 2020. erowid.org/exp/114081
This is my recent experience on Phenibut, Kratom and Brivaracetam. First let me provide you with a brief of my history. I've done over 90 different psychoactive substances and plants. Some of which gripped me and took me for a long vicious ride. Some of those being Methamphetamine, Adderall, DXM, Cocaine, and a few others. I'm not like a stereotypical addict. I'm well spoken, and dressed. I hold a job and am a very social person with plenty of friends. Please take what I have to say seriously. Let the following story be a lesson, or a cautionary tale. I did this so you don't have to. Phenibut is incredibly useful, however for me it became a serious life threatening addiction.
I've taken phenibut many times over the last decade, never has it lead to addiction. My story starts about 5 months ago. I recently gained an interest in phenibut after I'd been sober for around a year.
I recently gained an interest in phenibut after I'd been sober for around a year.
At the time I didn't know how to handle life. I was suffering from minor depression and lacked the motivation to do anything. I love people, however I couldn't get out of my own head enough to go out and socialize. Phenibut appeared to be like a minor boost, just enough to help me do the things I wished to do in life. I wanted something mild that I can take whenever I desired a boost. So I ordered 200 grams of phenibut HCL from a trusted online vendor. It came with a scoop measuring approximately 500mg. It's been a few years since I've taken it, so I figured I'll start low. 500mgs on an empty stomach is what I started with. I forgot how long it takes to fully kick in. About 45 minutes in I felt a mood lift, so I began writing. 2 hours I peaked. At that point I decided to go for a walk. It was beautiful outside. It was more than just the nice weather. The phenibut eased my mind enough to be more mindful. I began noticing things I never had before. I've walked the same path a countless number of times but this time was different. Everything was brighter and came with much greater detail. I enjoyed looking around. I went home and felt I could of gone a little higher of a dose. I wanted to find the sweet spot of a dose. I enjoyed the rest of the day reading and writing. Sleeping was great. I slept like a newborn minus the crying. Best rest I've had in a very long time.
A full day has passed and I loaded up a water bottle of 1500mg of phenibut. This time peaking was just how I wish it to be. I work in retail so I socialize a lot. The phenibut was perfect for this. I love people so it was nice to be able to converse with ease. I felt I was more creative in conversation and a better listener. I became more sensitive to others' emotions. All I wanted to do was sit and talk with others. And I did just that. At some points I asked customers to meet with me at break time just to chat. Not that I felt I needed to chat, rather I enjoy being with people. I felt like the old me before drugs took over my life. Phenibut seemed to help me be me. I didn't feel drugged up or high, I just felt better. After work while walking home I felt the breeze, smelled the flowers, and enjoyed being mindful of the sights. It was almost like my senses were much more sensitive. I felt alive. I went home and did some reading and writing. The whole day was a good day. Once again I slept great.
I did this for around a week. I found if I dose another 1500mg later in the day I would get more of a high. Where I was more in a drunken state. Although you couldn't tell I was high. I felt total bliss. As if nothing could bother me. I run a meditation group and in this group I was more comfortable leading the meditation. I felt more confident and felt as if it was one of the better meditations. Sitting in absolute quiet came with ease and euphoria. I could sit for hours and be totally okay with that. At this point in my phenibut use I truly felt I was progressing in life. It wasn't until a month or so later it became a detriment to both my health and my life.
Tolerance builds very quickly with phenibut so I kept having to up my dose. A month or so in I was taking 4 grams every morning and 4 grams every evening. I started adding Kratom to the mix.
I started adding Kratom to the mix.
Taking it with my phenibut felt great. I loved life. But I knew deep inside this wasnt healthy for me. I kept going though. I did feel more drugged up that when I first started this phenibut. Once I dosed up every morning I became incredibly stimulated, I'd organize my room and clean the house. Things I used to do on meth. You couldn't tell I was high by looking at me. This is one of the dangers of phenibut. Because I’d act somewhat normal and look fine I was able to better hide my addiction.
I had to start better managing my money. I was spending 100 a week on kratom and about 60 a month of phenibut. I always had to make sure I got my kratom before the store closes and make sure I had the money for it. The phenibut I was ordering online so I had to time it just right. I order a week prior before I thought I would run out. This is when I knew I couldn't keep this up for long. All this planning and money management was well too familiar to me. It is no different than my previous drug addictions. How could I have not seen this coming. I didn't want to quit because life was going all to well for me.
2 months or so into my phenibut addiction I began doing research in phenibut withdrawals. It didn't seem too bad, however my dosage was unheard of. I was at 12 grams once a day every morning, “jeez” I thought to myself. How could I have gone this high of a dose so quickly without my noticing. I had to stop. What if I had to go somewhere where I cant get my phenibut. What will happen to me? So I started tapering down. 500mg a day. Which is a very large amount. Using the kratom really eased my withdrawal symptoms and I was able to get down to about 8 grams no problem. However I somehow convinced myself it was going to be fine and ill quit later. So once again I started upping my dose about a gram a day for a while. At one point I didn't order my phenibut on time. So being at around 8 grams a day with maybe 15 grams left I had no choice but to ration what I have left. It would arrive in 3 days. So I figured I'd take 8 grams one day, 7 the next, and nothing the following day till it arrives.
Well the day it was supposed to arrive, it didn't. It was late. This is when I started experiencing some serious withdrawal symptoms. Hours after when I should have had my morning dose I began feeling an overwhelming sense of dread and worthlessness. So I laid down and attempted to sleep. Just like benzo withdrawal I began to get what I call ‘ The Fear’. Where at random times I'd be flooded with anxiety and a feeling of impending doom. Later in the day while laying down I was experiencing somewhat of a hypnotic state. Where I would see flashes of images accompanied with odd strange thoughts. Id snap out of it and fall into it again. I kept forgetting where I'm at, and who I am. This is identical with benzodiazepine withdrawal for me. I had no idea phenibut, a legal well respected drug would cause such adverse side effects. I started to have muscle spasms, signs of a potential seizure coming my way. I was so out of it I couldn't tell you if I had slept at all, or if I was in a psychotic state the whole time. The next morning I raced to the local store and purchased some phenibut capsules. Just enough to hold me off till my package arrives. The phenibut I purchased came with 100 caps containing 100mg of phenibut each. I ate the entire thing. Hours passed and I felt great. Finally my package arrived.
5 months in and I'm at 22 grams once every morning. I mentally feel fine. Just mildly drugged up, but felt great mentally. However I began vomiting once the kratom had kicked in. Then every morning I’d practically piss out my ass. My bowels were unpredictable and nearly impossible to control. I'd run to the bathroom at random times throughout the day. Okay so this isn't good. Perhaps I'm doing some serious damage to my insides. I should consider tapering again. But how am I going to do this. I have virtually no control over this addiction.
At work a customer left a backpack behind. Looking into the bag I found a full script of abilify. No use for that so I tossed it. However I found another full script that read Briviact 100mgs. I've never heard of this before. After some quick google research I found its a racetam. I'm very familiar with the racetam family. Mhm perhaps this may be of use to my tapering down. Come to find out its properties are comparable to alprazolam. Wow what a lucky find. I popped one. I looked at the time. It was 3:10pm. I anxiously waited for the effects. I'm used to popping newly discovered pills so I wasn't worried about an interaction, overdose, or unwanted side effects. I was expecting a high. BAM! It was 4:05pm and I felt really relaxed. Very similar to a mild dose of alprazolam. The difference was I felt wobbly, more on the drunk side. It was mild however so I could still keep my composer. There were 59 more of these magic pills left. This is what I'll need for my taper.
The following day I went from 22 grams to 15 grams. I wanted to do this quickly. The Brivaracetam needs to last for my taper. Knowing myself I'll be blasting through these. They are more than just something to help me get off phenibut, they are now a new high added to my daily routine. Once the phenibut kicked in I was mildly depressed. I wanted to wait for the withdrawals to get more severe for me to start taking the Briviact. About 15 hours after my 15 gram dose I took 2 pills of Briviact. It was 200mg worth. Then I tossed a few grams of kratom in me as well. More than usual. I began to feel pretty damn good. I was incredibly relaxed both physically and mentally. Off to work I go. Throughout the day I continued dosing on my kratom and Briviact. The Briviact high increased so much over time I felt practically wasted by the end of my shift. I had an enormous smile that nothing could have turned it around. The euphoria was incredibly powerful on this stuff. This is easy. I can successfully taper without a problem now. It's tough to tell however, because the half-life of phenibut is rather long. I believe it's close to 10 hours. So it's possible my withdrawal won't peak for a couple days.
As the days went by I continued dropping my phenibut dose a few grams a day.
As the days went by I continued dropping my phenibut dose a few grams a day.
While upping my briviact and kratom dose. My days were free of anxiety and very productive. I went down to around 5 grams of phenibut. Which is my current dose. I plan to stay with it for a while. I couldn't have tapped so easily if it wasn't for the kratom and briviact. I totally underestimated the strength of phenibut withdrawal. Never again will I reach such a high dose I was at with phenibut.
Currently I'm using the briviact to write and socialize. I don't feel the need to use it for my taper. I can taper slowly and with ease without it. Please be careful with phenibut use. As I said tolerance builds very quickly. If need be take breaks to avoid negative effects.
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