I Would Say It Was Well Worth It
Citation:   psypsy21. "I Would Say It Was Well Worth It: An Experience with Mirtazapine (exp114009)". Erowid.org. Aug 14, 2020. erowid.org/exp/114009

15 - 30 mg oral Pharms - Mirtazapine (daily)
    oral Pharms - Promethazine  
Mirtazapine: Complete Review and helpful info

A long thread, but I have tried to categorise it so you can read what you are looking for, but I would recommend to read everything so you can see the bigger picture. I apologise for any typos in advance, Iím not used to writing on my phone. Thank you!

First of all, I would like to say: I have been through very tough times, and basically been depressed for 6 years. I had given up on all medications and just accepted the fact that some people never can be happy or healthy. I was wrong. After a wide variety of medications and therapy, I finally found something that helped me feel genuinely happy again. Iím not saying Mirtazapine is the medication for you, but you will hopefully find something that helps you with your struggles. Iím writing this to contribute with information and first hand experience and what it could be like for you or a dear friend.

General information about me:
Age : 21
Weight before treatment: 83kg
Weight after treatment : 94kg
Treatment duration : 6 months + a week tapering off
Dosage : 30mg
Country : Sweden
Height(?) : 5Ē8

I was raised in a very tough environment that I basically donít even recall. I suffered Major depression and a lot of anxiety. It was so bad that I couldnít sit on my computer without shaking and biting my nails off, or having horrible catastrophic thoughts that were just absurd. My depression got so much worse last summer when I got addicted to drugs and started using it as a way to escape reality. I was also unable to sleep most nights which negatively affected my ability to work and hold a job. Iím telling you this so you can get a general idea about how I was before my treatment.

When I finally had enough and couldnít take it anymore, I decided to talk to my doctor again to try any new medication available. She decided to prescribe me Mirtazapine for depression and as a sleep aid along with some Promethazine in case my anxiety shoots up during the start of the treatment. I was extremely sceptical at first, but I really had no other choice then to give it a try.

I was prescribed 15mg for my the first week, and then 30mg after that. The first day I took Mirtazapine, I was knocked out cold very early and I had a very deep sleep. The next day was kind of hellish cause no matter how much I tried, I just couldnít really wake up. I was literally at work nodding the whole day just waiting to go home and go to bed again. This would go on for the first week or two and gradually got better when I started upping my dose. It is terrible but when you get through it, itís a great step. According to my doctor, I was to expect positive change after the first month. Thing is, I was actually feeling better already after a week of the introduction dosage. I wouldnít say I was cured, but my mood definitely was altered.

The feeling of grogginess lasted for about a month, basically until it got to a level where I felt I could handle it. However, how groggy you feel will depend on how long you take the medication. Fourth month was better than the third, and the fifth was better than the fourth and so on. During my second week I also felt a spike in anxiety and was a bit manic. The Promethazine my doctor described was a good tool to use during those times. I would strongly advise you to ask your doctor for something in case it gets bad, Xanax would do the job as well.

After the first month, I was already feeling great. I got enough sleep every night and also felt very energised during the day to work and do things I enjoyed. The job I had hated for months and thought about quitting was now somewhere where I enjoyed being. I would also feel motivated to do things such as going to the gym and hang out with friends, which rarely happened before the treatment. Two months in and I was getting my life in the right direction. I was handling my finances as a healthy person should and stopped buying useless things to make up for my emptiness. As an adult, I finally felt I had control of my own life. Things from here would only get better thankfully.

Notable Negative Side Effects:

Two side effects I experienced early on were weight gain and problems with my vision. I put on roughly 15kg during the treatment, and failed miserably when trying to lose it again during the treatment. The medication does something to your body, and you will more than likely put on some weight. It also makes you crave carbs like never before, which also helps you put on weight. With time you can learn to control it. Focus on making healthy food and having a somewhat strict diet if you want to add as little weight as possible.

I noticed major changes to my vision already the first month.
I noticed major changes to my vision already the first month.
This seems to be less common, but itís still a possibility. If you have ever taken acid and looked at your phone, the text would kind of dance around, get thicker and smaller the longer you look at it. This is almost what text looked like to me, but way less than on acid. It can sometimes be difficult to read or concentrate on a long text. Things in distance can sometimes become a bit blurry and your sight could go from perfect to somewhat bad. I have no clue if this actually goes back to normal after the treatment, I have yet to regain my perfect vision again. But itís definitely something I learned to control after a while. I would also like to mention that doing Adderall while on this medication would temporarily make my sight more blurry, I will explain further later on in this long ass essay.

Another side effect I experienced for a little while was actually feeling like I was going insane. Iím not sure if this is due the medication or if itís cause I was a heavy drug user and the drugs had finally caught up to me. I felt like the world was not real and some paranoia. Basically early signs for psychosis. Luckily this vanished away and I went back to normal after a while.

Last but not least, I have to address the famous vivid dreams. Dreams felt realistic and I could wake up thinking I had done something but then later on realise it was just a part of my dreams. Personally this doesnít bother me at all since I actually enjoy dreams, even if they can get wired sometimes. I have also had 4-5 lucid dreams where I knew I was dreaming, which is also pretty cool.

Notable Positive effects:

The biggest change and most important is that I was finally relieved from that deep depression and the restless nights full of anxiety. I now feel very much at peace with myself and I can actually sit down and relax to a movie. Some days can be tough, but that is a part of life, you canít be happy everyday, but itís great when you can be happy most of them.

Motivation and the willingness to get things done. This is also a huge thing that I got going for me. I now very much enjoy my job and other things such as working out. Itís much easier to just get up and clean the house or do the chores, where this was very difficult before the treatment. Routines are a lot easier to follow now and I feel like I take better care of myself and my hygiene, which often can be neglected when depressed.

Due to being genuinely happy, I no longer felt that drugs were necessary in my life. I had abused drugs a lot and was a daily speed user, but with my life getting better, I started to naturally drift away from my addiction. I have a strong belief that addiction is often due to personal issues, and this definitely proves my point. I still occasionally do different drugs, and itís so much more fun when done in moderation.

Sleep is not an issue. I mean the sleep aid from Mirtazapine is so much stronger than many sleep meds. Itís amazing to take the dose and an hour later be sleeping like a baby. Itís pretty difficult to stay up after an hour or two.

Last but not least, being clearheaded. Itís so much easier to consecrate and do things. I no longer struggle with tasks that require you to be sharp. My job involves a lot of thinking, so this is essential. I have been so motivated that Iím actually considering going to university, which has for a long time been a nono. I feel like I could go to school and actually get shit done this time. Maybe this is something regular people donít have any issues with, but after depression, this is like being in heaven.

Mirtazapine interactions with different drugs

Alcohol : In the beginning I would get very tired and sleepy after a few drinks. This got better with time, and somewhere in the middle of the treatment I was able to drink like before. However, drink with caution, this could be different for you.

Amphetamine: Oh my sweet Speed. I canít stress this enough, Mirtazapine and Speed will potentate each other like no other drugs. Every time I took speed during the treatment I would be tweaking my ass off. I would compare it to doing meth, thatís how strong it feels. So start small if you decide to use and see if you feel it, you can always redose later. Itís worthy to mention that you can feel more paranoid due to the mixture, thatís why I would usually skip that days dosage for safety measures.

Promethazine: If I took enough of this and Mirtazapine, I could also have a delirious trip. I have written a thread about my experience with those two. Read it if youíre curious.

MDMA/Ecstasy: I have had no issues rolling while on Mirtazapine. I wouldnít say itís better or worse, itís just great. I would although say that the medication helps with the day after, so basically I never felt withdrawal or any depression due to serotonin depletion. Use with caution though as this could be different for everyone.

LSD: This is a dead end. I tried to trip on 150ug of tabs I know were good, and it just cancelled the trip. I felt like I was coming up for the first 2 hours then it just stopped. So yeah, maybe could work for you but I wouldnít bother.

Weed: I would say these two mix well together. Weed is definitely stronger while on this medication, and due to Mirtazapine actually having psychedelic traits, this will make for a good headspace. Start low to be on the safe side, cause you will get high for sure.

Cocaine: I donít really enjoy cocaine since it doesnít give me that kick, but I would decently say that it also gets potentiated similar to speed, just not as much.

Conclusion and final words: All in all, my experience has been fantastic.
All in all, my experience has been fantastic.
I have suffered a few side effects, but I would say it was well worth it. It gets easier to deal with as you go, so donít worry about being a zombie for a week or two, this doesnít last that long.

I hope my life will continue on as it has been lately without the medication, worst case scenario I get back on it. And to everyone who is feeling like giving up on themselves, donít. I did, and I was proven that I could get well again. Iím so happy that I took that step and sought help again, and you should too, for your own sake.

Exp Year: 2020ExpID: 114009
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 22
Published: Aug 14, 2020Views: 3,801
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Pharms - Mirtazapine (311) : Not Applicable (38), Depression (15), Medical Use (47), Glowing Experiences (4), Retrospective / Summary (11), Combinations (3)

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