DOSE:	20 mg	oral	Pharms - Fluoxetine	(daily)
	12 mg	oral	Tryptophan - L-Tryptophan	(daily)
	1000 mg	oral	DXM

BODY WEIGHT:

60 kg

I have suffered from depressive episodes and bipolar II for 8 years. I was also diagnosed with autism early in life. I ended up seeing a psychiatrist and getting prescribed Prozac (20mg). For the first two weeks nothing really bad happened and I noticed my depression and anxiety had greatly reduced. After this point, my appetite dropped to zero and I started becoming more and more withdrawn and "out of it". For about two weeks I only ate 500-800 calories and lost 13 pounds, though this eventually disappeared. My libido also went out the window completely. My emotions became blunted and I entered this unnatural state of "being high", my behavior became less and less rational. At this point, I added 5 grams of day of l-tryptophan into my diet as it seemed to quell certain delusional thoughts and let me sleep without my thoughts racing.

This would persist for two months until one of my Pre-Prozac hypomanic episodes was potentiated out of control. I ended up staring at the sky for hours, listening to the same song over and over and aimlessly walking many miles each day. I lost all inhibitions and even basic respect for my life and safety. I also started increasing the tryptophan dose to 12 grams a day, the most I could consume without getting sick.

I had a complete manic breakdown and delusionally took 1000mg of dextromethorphan, going into a 16 hour trip of absolute hell, degradation and disgust beyond human comprehension. Retrospectively, it terrifies me how off the deep end I was to do that to myself and having felt no fear or regret. Somehow I managed to get myself together, after the 16 hours of absolute hell, enough to call 911 and spent 2 days in the hospital. I couldn't walk on my own and had to get a catheter for 2 days. I was taken off the medication following this and went through a full week of cognitive fatigue, waking up with cold sweats, barely being able to walk and having paranoia, anxiety attacks and "lovecraftian" nightmares.

After a week I finally felt my humanity coming back and my delusional and parasuicidal thoughts/ actions have ceased. My libido is no longer zero and I have regained some level of natural emotion and basic self respect. Two weeks later I am still having brain zaps and my memory is still scattered, but these effects are slowly going away too. I am beyond thankful that I did not end up dead or in a mental institution and hope things are going to be better down the line.

Exp Year: 2019	ExpID: 113917
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: Dec 4, 2023	Views: 17
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Pharms - Fluoxetine (80), Tryptophan - L-Tryptophan (197), DXM (22) : General (1), Retrospective / Summary (11), Medical Use (47), Sex Discussion (14), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Various (28)