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Seeing the Highest Being Possible
LSD & Cannabis
by MOAG
Citation:   MOAG. "Seeing the Highest Being Possible: An Experience with LSD & Cannabis (exp113797)". Erowid.org. Nov 20, 2019. erowid.org/exp/113797

 
DOSE:
  oral LSD
      Cannabis

BODY WEIGHT: 250 lb


I can't put time stamps but I'll try to explain what happened.

First once the tabs dissolved and started working my vision was really bright and colorful. I decided to take a shower, a really hot shower. Only when getting out I realized I felt nothing, complete dissociation.
I felt nothing, complete dissociation.
I dried my hair and couldn't feel the heat at all, or me getting the knots out of my hair. A while later I feel nothing at all, completely naked. My field of view seemed to get super large, with whatever I was looking at hyper zoomed in. I started to panic, trying to distract myself from it, I noticed that my peripheral vision was becoming a hole, my desk was getting infinitely long, my walls forming some sort of maze-like pattern. I felt shocks of pain in my body, sort of like electricity slowly pulsing through my body, I checked my heart rate and it was 125 BPM.

After this I started to panic a bit more. The corners of my vision were stretching and stretching I was seeing my vision as if it was one of those infinite mirrors, I was seeing fractals inside of every letter I looked at, I was also sweating a bunch. I didn't feel hot or cold though, I felt nothing. I panicked on discord for a bit, asking for help but not reading the replies at all. I laid down and tried to calm myself but I started to feel a pain right inside of my heart. This is when I became visually disconnected from the world.

As I laid in my bed looking up, I was in a corner looking up at a massive monitor. I was panicking and got up, going back to my desk, the monitor did not go away, I was watching my vision from another room it felt like. It got even worse.

Somehow I got into a thought loop, I would think about literally anything, and my mind would think of the opposite at the same time, which somehow made me visually see my ideas, zooming in and zooming out, it was like I was zooming out of atoms and back in at the same time. I lost most connection to reality visually, I could not see my room unless I got up and distracted me, I was having a thought loop both visually and mentally, Infinitely zooming in and out of my thoughts. I was on my bed staring at my clock, time was gone for me, It felt like years were passing when only seconds had. At the time I forgot how many things I do every second, I assumed that it usually took me 3-4 minutes to leave my room to walk to the kitchen. I dropped my clock and felt the pain in my heart grow, I thought I was having a heart attack. I was seeing objects that looked super familiar but that I never saw before. My watch died at this point so I couldn't check my heart rate. I assumed it was in the 200's but that makes no sense. This happened for a while until I started to accept my death, I picked out a song to die to and planned to "die" at a certain part. I didn't think it would get worse, but it did.

My vision started to zoom out of the monitor, until I was seeing my body in these cluster of atoms, which zoomed out to show normal daily scenes, mostly of minor inconveniences, burning my hand on a hot cup, dropping a paper, spilling water. My vision would zoom out into these scenes. I had no control over my thoughts, I kept panicking and forgot all about accepting my death. I got up and poured cold and hot water on my face, feeling absolutely nothing, I then drank some tap water (which makes me disgusted because of the after taste). The taste suprised me enough to get my vision back, but a second later it started to zoom out again, trapping me into whatever well I was in now. I went outside (dressed), hoping the cold air would help, and it did for a second, then my vision returning to whatever I was seeing in my head. I went back on my bed and got under my blankets, on the edge of calling 911. This happened for a while, until around the end of my peak everything got again, worse.

As my vision was zooming out faster and faster, It sort of stopped. My vision was inside of a white office cubicle. I was some sort of shadow entity, who pulled a folder out of the drawer at his desk. He pulled out a white binder folder and opened it, my vision zooming into it. I saw multiple of my vision in this folder, one sort of pulled out and zoomed into.

I wasn't zooming out any more, until my vision went back to the monitor, I was looking up at this infinitely tall shadow person, who was watching me from that desk. It was terrifying at the time, it had no features, no emotions, I still know not one thing about it except that it looked human. The eyes were microscopic dots that I was able to see no matter how far away somehow. It was too late to accept my "death" now, I felt like I had set off some alarm and was in trouble for it.
I felt like I had set off some alarm and was in trouble for it.
I don't remember much else happening except my vision sort of snapping back to normal. I fell out of my bed panicked, still very dissociated physically in an instant my thought loop was over, mentally and visually.

I got nothing except fear out of this trip. I entirely underestimated the combo of LSD and THC, especially since I have no idea how much THC I took. I had no trip sitter, and was alone in my bedroom for most of the trip, except when going outside or to the bathroom.

Exp Year: 2019ExpID: 113797
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 19 
Published: Nov 20, 2019Views: 520
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LSD (2), Cannabis (1) : Combinations (3), Bad Trips (6), Entities / Beings (37), Difficult Experiences (5), Alone (16)

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