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Severely Depressed Due to Long-Term Reasons
Tabernanthe iboga (extract)
by Adam3
Citation:   Adam3. "Severely Depressed Due to Long-Term Reasons: An Experience with Tabernanthe iboga (extract) (exp113433)". Erowid.org. Jul 21, 2020. erowid.org/exp/113433

 
DOSE:
20 g oral Tabernanthe iboga (extract)

BODY WEIGHT: 75 kg


Iboga TA for Depression

Severely depressed due to long-term - childhood on - reasons and habits carried on into adult life. Had several bad things done to me as a child which I ignored and was in denial about or thought I had coped with or dealt with.

No use of drug, anti-depressant medicine alcohol etc.

Took Iboga TA after researching plant medicine for depression and becoming chronically depressed due to money, job and relationship issues. Spent months in bed and just wanted not to live. I was in trauma and sweating and shaking with fear at the thoughts I was having and my view of life and how I had hurt people unintentionally by my lack of responsibility.

I managed to get myself together enough to contact several providers in different countries and have counseling from a medically qualified iboga experienced psychotherapist. Had all the heart and blood tests done. The place I went to had a doctor present and medical equipment to restart and monitor the heart blood pressure, etc. I tried to talk myself out of going for the treatment but in the end went for 7 nights.

The full flood dose was very effective at giving me a reset. The first thing I recall is sometime after taking the flood dose there was a whistling noise in the ears. Maybe after 30 to 60 minutes. Then a little later some sort of music and strange patterns. I did have visions but did not see dead relatives or anyone I knew. Mostly my visions were symbolic, involving a simple operation that cleared out my brain of physical stuff that was there.
Mostly my visions were symbolic, involving a simple operation that cleared out my brain of physical stuff that was there.
I heard lots of strange disjointed music that kept repeating and saw patterns morphing in front of me. Got very hot and sweated a lot. Drank a lot of water. Could not walk to the bathroom without help. Felt nausea but no desire to vomit. This lasted about 10 hours followed by about 14 hours of disturbed sleep. The visions lasted a few hours the music a bit longer.

The following days were as if time had speeded up. That it was saturday when actually it was wednesday. This lasted for about 3 days. I had some dreams while I was semi awake or awake in the days after about things in my life. It was easy to stop them but I did not want to. The dreams were wake up calls about issues in my life or at least pointers at things going on that I was ignoring. I also saw flickering lines in my eyesight when looking in the mirror or when inside. Never when I was outside in sunlight. Its sort of like an old flickering movie but it's like a flash that lasts a few seconds then goes. These lasted about 14 days but got less and less and were not very frequent - maybe 10 times a day to start and once or twice by the end.

The total experience was a definite reset - I felt more open and positive in the days after the flood dose. I did meditation and other therapies in the days after. There was quite a lot of spiritualness and respect applied to what went on which I think is essential. This is not a magic bullet fix. You have to change your way of behaving and being otherwise you drift back into the old habits.

My feelings on leaving were mixed. The following weeks were very up and down. I got quite depressed but microdosed on iboga once a week which helped a lot. I think more frequent microdosing would be helpful. This fallout after a flood dose seems to be pretty normal and exercise and spiritual work seems to help a lot. I did skype counseling and talked to others who had been through the process. I suggest anyone doing the iboga reset for any reason including addiction or spiritual plan carefully what they will do before and after. Approach with respect and reverence. Don't treat as a game.

I wish I had done this years ago. I think I would have had a different life and not messed up because of the patterns of behavior. Now my biggest problem is forgiving myself and trying to restart again. My old habits and ways of thinking keep trying to come back and I get very sad about that. Microdosing helps for sure.

Unfortunately I have ended up back in the house where I had some of my childhood issues so that has not been a help. I suggest where possible a clean break from people and places which are negative and stay with those who will understand, love and support you. Whatever my own outcome my conclusion is iboga is amazing and should be respected spiritually and medically for many conditions. However it requires support in the days before and around the treatment and after so its not like popping a pill.

Finally my background was in law and finance - so this sort of thing was not something I would have ever thought I would do. I believed the story being fed about plant medicines to the public. There are some risks but discussion and information will help with making them less of a problem and the risks are probably less than alcohol abuse.



Exp Year: 2019ExpID: 113433
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Jul 21, 2020Views: 392
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Tabernanthe iboga (200) : Hospital (36), Hangover / Days After (46), Depression (15), First Times (2)

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