Citation: Neptron. "How to Destroy a Perfectly Good Heart: An Experience with DXM (with CPM) & LSD (exp11325)". Erowid.org. Dec 8, 2020. erowid.org/exp/11325
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First some basic info: I was 18 at the time. Pretty overweight at 250lbs, standing 6 feet Tall. I was in poor physical shape, then.
I had been abusing DXM spontaneously. Robitussin had become too disgusting for me, so I got hooked on coricidin. Yeah, I heard it's dangerous, but I'm a light dexer, so I figured it would be allright for me. It was a shitty trip, but I did it anyway. I think I was addicted.
Anyhow, the night of terror begun on April 16th, 2000. Me and a friend planned to go to a semi-local rave and locate some good old 'cid. I had been dying to try LSD for 2 years, I was pumped. I figured, there's a slim chance of us finding it, so I bring some good ol' coricidin with me.
After about an hour, we had given up on finding acid, so I go in the bathroom and choke down 16 coricidin. And when I come out, I hear 'hey, I found it dude, go talk to the guy over there'. I can't resist. If I don't do acid now, will I ever? So I buy 3 hits of liquid LSD from this scraggly looking fellow for a good 14$. Down the hatch it goes.
I'm going around the party, just chilling out for a while, waiting for the drugs to kick in. After about 45 minutes, I'm starting to feel the coricidin, and it's quite heavy. Each bass drum thump of the music vibrates through me, tickling my molecules. For some reason, I feel the impulse to hand out all of the candy I've brought, telling people 'here, I gotta get rid of this. I'll be on the floor in a couple minutes' or 'dude, trust me, there's drugs in this' :)
I feel the impulse to hand out all of the candy I've brought, telling people 'here, I gotta get rid of this. I'll be on the floor in a couple minutes' or 'dude, trust me, there's drugs in this' :)
At about 60 minutes, I sit down, definitely starting to feel the acid. My vision and psyche go down the vortex first. Everything I was seeing in reality started going into this vortex, and I had these strange thoughts that would bounce off each other. If I had a positive thought, another thought would enter my mind that was negative. It was like, there was this little demon that would mock everything I thought. It was the start of a terrible trip.
At 70 minutes, my senses started going away. I can faintly remember people trying to coerce me .. 'are you okay?' 'dude.. you must be fryin' balls' 'do you need some water?' .. I was fading in and out of consciousness up until 90 minutes.
I can't remember anything for the next 2 hours. People report that I was shaking uncontrollably, not responding, had pure black irises, etc etc.. Apparently some kind soul called 911 after a long period of time of me sitting there.
Apparently I was psychotic and the room I was in had to be fenced off. There were policemen and EMT's all about me. I guess I was going violent on them. They had me fully strapped down to a hospital bed. Even my neck, I think, was strapped.
I don't know what point I woke up, but it must have been real late. In the hospital I went through different periods of being 'asleep' and tripping insanely (having hallucinations so strong that I couldn't see anything with my peripheral vision). They had me on 150 cc's (I guess that's a lot, a nurse told me) of valium to slow my heart down.
So more hours pass. I become sober enough to answer basic questions like 'did you try to commit suicide' and 'what's your address'? This was very degrading. I was hating myself so much. The acid was tapering off, and I could see floaty colors and hear echoes. I had a nurse take off some of my restraints. I could tell that she didn't trust me, but she did it anyway. I inspected myself and found many bruises about my arms.
The next day, here's what I found out. My heart was pounding away at 100-160bpm when they found me, and I was lucky to be alive. I can only imagine how long my heart sustained damage. Almost 3 hours, before the EMT's found me. Fucking shit. My heart is gone. They kept me at the hospital for another day, with a catheter in me, and an iv hooked to my arm. I think it was potassium, or some sort of diuretic. The doctors asked more questions. I think a nurse told me that the police wanted to talk with me. That put me on edge.
Another day passed. I had fully recovered mentally. I did not know why they were keeping me. I was told it was the doctor's orders. One of the nurses is actually compassionate. She gives me some words of wisdom: 'stop doing drugs.. I did that when I was young, turn on to meditation instead..' Unfortunately I never followed that advice.
Day 3.. They let me out. I had to call my mother to pick me up. I had to explain what happened. I made my mother cry. The bill was pretty big. The hospital charged me 800$.
Afterwards I was not the same, mentally and physically. I'm almost 20, now, and I've got the heart of a 50 year old. I haven't seen a doctor, but I think I should. Ever since leaving the hospital, I've had a pulse that's a little higher than normal, constantly, and my heart seems to beat harder than it should when I'm exercising.
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