Citation: DepressedLoser123. "A Powerful Depression Treatment: An Experience with Ketamine (exp113191)". Erowid.org. May 27, 2019. erowid.org/exp/113191
||(powder / crystals)
[Reported Dose: 150 mg]
I am 24 years old as of writing this experience. I have tried coke, mdma, lsd, shrooms, coffee, weed, tobacco, kratom, codeine, opium, amphetamine, smoked dmt, and xanax etc. Basically everything except heroin, meth and crack.
I had not tried ketamine up until this point. I have struggled with severe depression and I have found things that were helping but nothing that really improved the root of the issue.
My friend whom I had done tons of mushrooms with told me that I would love ketamine and I had to try it. "Horse tranquilizer? really? I am good". But eventually I got curious and decided anyways to get some. I bought a gram and really wasn't sure what to think. He was my good friend and had good taste in overall psyches and psychedelic experiences, so I trusted his judgement. I had heard on the media that ketamine helped with treatment resistant depression. I thought that was just the media getting hyped up on nonsense. My buddy told me to rack up 200mg, not read anything about ketamine online, and do it with no expectations.
I did. WOW. I can't really explain what to put into words but it was incredibly psychedelic. I was surprised at how it wasn't as jarring as a psychedelic trip. I felt like I could go deep without the heaviness and chains normally associated with heroic psychedelic trips. The euphoria was significant. But I would explain the euphoria as more of a state of peace and tranquility. Like all is right with the world. A voice of my own subconscious talked to me and told me that the power I had within to change my depression and negative life scenario.
A voice of my own subconscious talked to me and told me that the power I had within to change my depression and negative life scenario.
I also had to keep on executing on the steps that I had at hand and see the bigger picture. I basically fell into a trance and couldn't move at all.
I went to sleep eventually after coming down and the next day and woke up covered in sweat. I felt completely clear mentally. I went about my day and had the best day of my life in the past 3-4 years. I honestly expected nothing from this experience. Ketamine unexpectedly gave me more than any of my antidepressants ever had in less than 12 hours. I never stuck with antidepressants because I disliked the side effects. I thought it was too good to be true. And it was. This antidepressant effect moved forward only till week 3. Then it waned.
I did some of the research and realized these media stories were not joking. It took a little bit of online research but I realized that if I did 150-200mg of ketamine every 4 weeks, then I could get one single high dose experience, get the antidepressant effects, and all that with minimal tolerance gain. The suggested ketamine dosage was lower dose and up to weekly or every other week. I disliked this because K would also wack my sleep for a day or two. So I continued with one single large insufflated dose monthly. I also wondered what weekly K use would do for tolerance.
Ketamine at best is really a crutch. it doesn't get me to the root of my issue. It just shuts off the lowest points of my self hatred and depression for the month after I do it. its a short term crutch when used very carefully.
It has been about the 4th month of ketamine treatment and I can say that it is one of the best things to happen to me. Lets not overblow it. I am snorting a dose monthly to keep me on my feet. But it also gives me a huge framework to work on myself. With the depression shut off mostly, I have adopted healthy lifestyle habits slowly. I have been forcing myself out of my comfort zone. Eating much better. I am also in therapy again. When you are severely depressed and don't know where to begin, ketamine has huge potential. But I think the key for me is to get off of it completely.
I think the key for me is to get off of it completely.
I think at this rate I can get off it in a year.
Summary: ketamine in high doses monthly helped me and was life changing. It is a stable, consistent crutch for depression that acts in 1 hour. within 15 minutes, I am feeling better. This is significant. But is it the solution? No. I think in the new space that ketamine gives, one needs to use it to get off of it eventually and create an action plan. I feel that this is the part that the media does not discuss properly. Or psychiatrists for that matter. I am happy for anyone who gets their depression treated by K. Some have called it a magic bullet. I believe it. But I think you don't want to become reliant on a drug.
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