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Jungian Void
MDMA & Ketamine
by no333
Citation:   no333. "Jungian Void: An Experience with MDMA & Ketamine (exp113166)". Erowid.org. May 14, 2019. erowid.org/exp/113166

 
DOSE:
T+ 0:00
0.25 tablets oral MDMA  
  T+ 1:20 4 lines insufflated Ketamine (powder / crystals)
  T+ 4:00 1 mg oral Melatonin (capsule)

BODY WEIGHT: 55 kg


The following report recounts my first experience with Ketamine, prior to this time my only encounter with the substance was a small bump, below the threshold dose and as expected I didnít feel any substantial effects, it was also my first serious experience with a dissociative drug, roughly some 7 months ago I dosed a small amount of DXM only to feel some light sedative effects. I have also consumed psychedelics, stimulants and downers in the past.

Hours before my trip I spent the evening with my girlfriend, we smoked some good quality hash and just chilled around, I had a pretty positive mindset for my upcoming experience.
I had a pretty positive mindset for my upcoming experience.
I had dinner at around 9pm and by 10.15pm took two spoons of a natural cough syrup (main ingredient was honey actually, no opium derivatives were present in the mix), I spent the following hours making myself ready and preparing my setting.

10.30 and I lay down on my bed, I watched some videos on Analytical Psychology, which would later influence my trip

00.02 I start my night taking a quarter of a blue punisher MDMA pill, just to keep myself awake and because I really enjoy it, I expect that it had around 75mg of MDMA since some reports these pills go over 300mg, which I tend to believe since European ecstasy manufacturers put really high doses on their product, it could have had less I really donít know but that would be my lowest dose ever which I actually underestimated.

00.32 At first I thought I already developed some tolerance to this substance but exactly half an hour later it hit very hard, I was with my headphones on, really euphoric and happy, I was excited about the K and experienced really pleasant tactile sensations since I was under comfy blankets and with a cozy pajama on, I text my friend A telling him I need some talk through, we chatted a little and it really helped to manage some upcoming anxiety and had a really wholesome undertone, then I talked with my friend P who was somewhere drunk as fuck and it was a funny interaction. I spend the following minutes listening to music and getting more and more euphorical, was it a quarter? Was it half a pill? At this point it makes me no difference.

01.20 or so, I get up to cut some ketamine bumps, I weighed it inside a baggie some days ago and I have nothing to weigh only the powder right now, it was 0.9g, supposing the baggie weighs around 0.2g I would have a total of 0.7g of K, but this is a rough estimative anyway, I divide the powder in 4 fat lines and proceed to snort them into my right nostril.

I stand still for a while and 2 minutes in I feel an extreme body load, I lay down again, put headphones on and start putting on some experimental music, from this point it is a little difficult to explain, I could feel my body extremely sedated, my vision getting distorted and the music I was listening to was even more intricate than it already is
I could feel my body extremely sedated, my vision getting distorted and the music I was listening to was even more intricate than it already is
, I try to get up and look at my window for the street but I get dizzy and a gravity pull pushes me back to bed, it is beautiful, euphorical and colorful and I feel the effects gradually increasing. I close my eyes and for my surprise I had a fuckton of CEVs, they started only as bright colors and geometrical forms and evolved into vortexes, holes and portals, this was no K-hole though but I was getting transported inside those tunnels at very high speed, I could see asteroids and stars, black holes, green holes, pink structures and as I delved deeper (again it was no K-hole I could open my eyes and use my phone with difficulty) I saw some giant and colorful entities, they looked calm and serene, I tried to communicate via thought form but this proved to be ineffective since my mind was being transported at very high speed throughout whatever the hell I was in and they only responded in some slow incoherent gibberish.

I was either opening or closing my eyes, when I had them open my bedroom would shapeshift or at least I perceived it geometrically impossible, as I touched my forehead and face with my hand I didn't feel any skin or bone but instead some sort of glassy mineral and my head was way longer and bigger and my hands looked artificial and made of stone or dark wood, my entire body was disconnected and my mind was just spending time somewhere in that colorful voidish dimension, maybe it was a k-hole afterall but it wasn`t a k-hole inducing dose.

I would close my eyes many times and see all sorts of subconscious incomprehensible shit, like Quentin Tarantino's face screeching and leaving tracers and disappearing into a small portal, but besides that I was being guided by some sort of upper entity filled with light, like it was showing me the endless possibilities I could enter while on ketamine, but we never entered any, it was just presenting me slight grasps of the unconscious I could explore, like a demo-version of the drug on its full effects.
It guided me to the entry of a prehistoric maze, it was cloudy and huge and reminded of the place where Sisyphus is being punished in Greek mythology, it was a beautiful scenario but we didn't enter it for some reason. Then I associated myself with the Sisyphean myth and right after I was being purged into the void once again, like a catharchic field trip and at some point I could examine a lot of structures resembling quaternity, like various mandalas which I associated to the Jungian archetype of the Self and to some extended understanding of the Ego, which at this moment was just suppressed and muted, mostly because I couldnít even connect to my own body. It was meaningfully confusing looking at this whole symbological depiction.

I was also experiencing a lot of synesthesia while listening to music, every sound created new patterns and black monoliths which would disintegrate later on (I was listening to Coucou Chloe, Eartheater, Lotic and other artists of such kind) and my clenching jaws against each other resembled two mountains colliding against each other as I was part of Earth itself, I remembered the Odysseyís episode of Scyilla and Charibdyis.

2 and something in the morning and I could feel the ketamine effects wearing off, I was still lethargic and tense and was still feeling the MDMA body load. Water, I need water. The liquid down my throat fills my like immense rivers flowing through my now dehydrated body. I am just feeling tired at this point, I put on the first volume of The Disintegration Loops by William Basinski, I listen to the 63 minutes first track.

I stopped the music, it is now 4 something in the morning, I can sense brinks of surreality around my field of vision and I'm getting uneasy. I decide to down 1mg melatonin gel capsule, primarily as a sleep aid but also as a dream potentiator since I already somewhat went into my subconscious, I fell asleep very fast and was feeling waves and tingles around my body as I entered the dream realm, I donít remember any dream but I know they were vivid but my brain could not induce any dream perception since I was exhausted.

I woke up some hours later a little tired but with a lifted mood, took some activated charcoal to absorb the drugs and to make the melatonin dizziness more bearable, took a shower breakfast. I donít feel any uncomfortable aftereffects of MDMA which I usually do, last time I marked the suicide hotline number some fucking 3 times in 2 hours. I felt improved, went for a morning walk to take breakfast and for once I was feeling comfortable walking outside alone, no anxiety whatsoever, it was fulfilling. Now I am just very interested in this afterglow thing, according to Carl Jung our collective unconscious is pre-determined by psychic heritage of our ancestors due the vast similarity between religious myths and its perception as archetypes, I believe our psyches are inherently filled with magic and ancestral symbology and it is now present in every following human being, understanding it might lead to a closest understanding and achievement of individuality and wholeness. I am no believer but I find our brains really interesting subjects of study.

Exp Year: 2019ExpID: 113166
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 17 
Published: May 14, 2019Views: 848
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MDMA (3), Ketamine (31) : Music Discussion (22), Entities / Beings (37), Personal Preparation (45), Combinations (3), Alone (16)

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