Citation: Yokio. "Bad Connections: An Experience with Cannabis (exp11307)". Erowid.org. Dec 16, 2001. erowid.org/exp/11307
This happened smack down in the middle of a week of constant pot-smoking. My parents had left for the week and one night I went around the house and picked up all the leftover joints. I smoked the whole thing to myself and waited. Just as I was finishing up my brother came home.
The trip started out to be fairly good, but about 20 minutes in I started to feel disoriented and restless. I ran around my house, from room to room as if I was trying to find something to latch onto. Finally I came to rest on my parent's bed. I lay there for a good little while, and my thoughts became twisted against me. I felt extreme guilt. My view of my familial relations became sour, I felt as if my family were accusing me of something, as if I had let them down.
I had a few convulsions. I leaped out of the bed to get away from the dark thoughts. I started to feel anxious. Everything around me was moving downwards. It was like that effect I get when I look up at a building when the clouds are moving. It looks like the building is continually falling. I was like those buildings. I started to feel extreme anxiety. I ran to my brother's room and asked him to talk me down, but it did no good. I started slipping and had the sensation of imminent death. Finally, I started to come down. I tried to play a video game and suffered a form of sensory overload...
For a long time after I had the same feelings of anxiety every time I smoked up. I'd completely brain boxed myself. I've managed to pin down the source of my problem as being one of mindset. I learned that if untrained as I was, any 'psychoanalysis' done whilst on marijuana is a recipe for disaster. I found that everything I thought about myself and my relationt to other people was twisted and dark.
Worst is, I believed my own negative thoughts, sometimes for weeks after I came down.
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