Citation: Didgital. "The Thumbprint: An Experience with AL-LAD (exp112191)". Erowid.org. Aug 2, 2018. erowid.org/exp/112191
||(powder / crystals)
The AL-LAD Thumbprint
I've already written up a report of this experience, only days after the fact. Here I am rewriting it, years later, again. I remember reading the famous China Cat thumprint story when I was very young. I thought it was intriguing, and sad that these types of reports are basically nonexistent. The highlights are still fresh, somewhat burned into my mind, likely forever.
I guess I'll start off with previous psychedelic experiences, which are MANY. From my very first mushroom trip at the age of 14, I've realized the power of psychedelics to change lives. The list of substances tried is: (TOO LONG TO PUT HERE), please trust me when I say I am experienced with many psychedelics and empathogens, natural and synthetic along with with a plethora of other substances. All in all, I've taken over 50 different psychoactives in my life. Here is a brief list of a few.
TRYPTAMINES: Mushrooms, DMT, 4-aco-DMT, 5-meo-DMT, Bufotenin, 5-meo-MIPT, ayahuasca (a few different brews), DET
LYSERGAMIDES: LSD, AL-LAD, LSZ, ETH-LAD, LSA (morning glories)
PHENETHYLAMINES: 2C-(B,C,E,T2,T7) Mescaline (synthetic), San Pedro/Peyote, DOB, DOM, suspected DOI, and supposed TMA-6
DISASSOCIATIVES: Ketamine, MXE, 2 oxo PCE, DCK
Blah blah blah.
On to the story. I'd acquired a sizeable amount of AL-LAD powder as the tartrate salt. This was very early on in the commercial availability of the chemical. I'd realized what a special substance this was, as I was fortunate enough to have sampled the very first batch released on a well known but hidden website. 150 micrograms per .5 square cm of white on white blotter. This was before the molecule and name was printed on larger perforated tabs. Sidenote: I believe the energy of the first batch was truly better. It was made without much knowledge of how it would be received by the global psychedelic audience. Its intent was relatively pure.
Plans were made to secure a bulk amount, and as soon as it was available, the wheels were put into motion. Receiving it I was surprised of the appearance. It looked like reagent grade zinc dust. Grey, but metallic and shiny. It was denser looking than any LSD crystal I'd ever seen. It had been purchased by a group of friends, but I was the only one with direct knowledge in laying substances on blotter, so it came to me. I'll skip the details, but I was proud that I accomplished this without any exposure, which I had expected. Looking at my finished work, I noticed a good sized clump of the material had stuck to the lab spatula I used to transfer the crystal to the solution. I'd say it was bigger than 2 match heads, and I was surprised even that such a large clump could stick to the metal without falling off. I estimate it was close to, or even more than 10mg, but I doubt it was 20. I really don't know though.
I'd had a few chances to take a thumbprint of LSD earlier in life but I'd declined every time. This night, I was in a great mood, and the plan was to attend a friend's birthday party, where I was told everyone would be tripping. I'd also recently ended a 4-year relationship, but I felt good about it. I would never have done something like this with my girlfriend around. I was free, I wasn't broke, and the world was wide open. At this time, I was living in a small cottage, or mother in law's house if you will, in the backyard of a mansion, occupied by a wonderful family, who knew who I was for the most part. They were all at the party! I had zero psychedelic tolerance at this moment.
I really should have thought about it more, but... I took the spatula and put it in my mouth, letting anything on it dissolve. I was a little surprised. Besides a very acidic sensation of bubbling on my tongue, I felt nothing. A few separate friends had described a thumbprint as being electric upon contact. I waited maybe 5 minutes, and thought a very stupid thought.
'Maybe I didn't take enough?'
I looked at the bag the powder came in and noticed there was still a bit of residue, (probably a few more mg) despite my attempts to wash it out. I licked the bag and again felt the acidic burning.
Right then, I felt it. My heart. It started to pound, like punching at my ribcage. I knew right then and there, that I was in for a very serious experience. No LSD type substance had ever done this. As the minutes passed my anxiety started to grow. I fired off 2 texts to some close friends saying like “I went for it, wish me luck”. My body was filled with energy, no matter what calming techniques I attempted. I decided I needed to get rid of some of this energy, and the best way would be to take a relaxing walk around the block. I left my little cottage, walked through the gate of the main house into the front yard. A police car was parked in the parking lot directly opposite the house, facing me. I reasoned there's no way its there for me, but seeing it this did not really help my mental state.
Halfway around the block, I could feel my coordination failing. I felt very similar to the ether scene of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. My sensation of walking was somewhere between floating, and stomping so hard I could feel the vibration through my entire body. I don't think I was stomping? Anyway, I was able to make it to the mansion, and the police car was still in the parking lot, but at least it had moved into another part and was facing a different direction. I walked into my house, and went straight for the couch with the intention of just relaxing. I considered calling the family, or maybe a local friend for help. OMMMMMM OMMMMM I took deep breaths on the couch and began to space out, watching swirling digital patterns on the peripheral of my vision.
Fast forward I don't know maybe 5-10 minutes. I realize my entire body is soaking wet.
“Why am I wet? Oh wow, this is sweat! Maybe I am experiencing a medical issue?”
I felt my forehead and my body with my hands and I could feel the heat coming off of me. I was pretty disoriented at this point, and thought it could be imperative for my safety to cool down.
I could feel the heat coming off of me. I was pretty disoriented at this point, and thought it could be imperative for my safety to cool down.
I stumbled the 10 feet to my bathroom door, and had great difficulty comprehending how to use a doorknob. I remember slapping at it, and it finally opened. I walk into my bathroom, everything is turning into fractals and it is difficult to make sense of anything. I pushed the curtain aside, trying to decipher what I was doing. I see the shower head, but I don't really understand it.
Suddenly, I am feeling a little better. I am thinking a little clearer. I am in the shower, with cold water flowing over me. All of my clothes on. The cold water really didn't feel that great at the time, I stepped out soaking, and removed every single article of clothing except my underwear.
“This is it! A moment of lucidity. This is your chance to call help! Fuck it, I can do this! I just need to chill out and everything will be ok”
I dove for my couch again, this time mostly naked. Let's wait 5 minutes and see how it goes. I wasn't there long, and everything began to melt, and fractalize into rainbow digital glitter. It wasn't getting any easier, and this time I made the decision while I still had any bit of mental acuity.
“I've seriously fucked up. I need to let someone who cares about me, know the situation before something terrible happens. Maybe they can keep me in the little house.”
Time distortion was already severe, so it's difficult to gauge the timeline, but I feel that this is near the 45 minute mark of initial ingestion. I step outside into the open. I try and look at the sky, and I shit you not, I was so high, that I honestly could not tell if it was day or night. Everything was just glittering, melting, tesselating, fractals of every color imaginable. I remember first looking at my feet. I recognized I was on the wooden porch. I lifted my head a little bit and recognized the 8 foot diameter koi pond in the back yard. I see the 12 year old golden koi swimming in circles...
I come to. I'm in my cottage, wrapped in blankets. I'm surrounded by dozens of pieces of art. Sketches, drawings, paintings. I've never seen any of it before in my life. I notice a good deal of blood on the floor, and on my blankets. I realized that what happened was not just a dream :(
“Oh god, I can't believe I did that, it wasn't a dream”
I stand up, and sense different points of pain on my body, especially my big toe on my right foot. I see that there is a huge gash, it's swollen, and I can't sense anything with the toe. My left shin, is also gashed and I have several fresh scars and missing skin, and my leg is covered with dried blood. I feel my forehead, and discover a 2 inch gash running down my forehead diagonally. I stand for a moment scanning my cottage. It's a mess. Many of my things, all over the floor, the counters. The previous work I'd done the last night, was still sitting on the desk, wide open for anyone to see.
“OH MY GOD” I kept thinking. What did I do? I felt so ashamed and embarrassed. I desperately wanted to smoke a cigarette and piece together what happened but I was scared to leave my house for fear of seeing anyone and having to interact with someone in my fragile state. I look at the clock, and see that 6 hours had passed from the moment I stepped out of the shower. I remember nothing, except vague psychedelic experiences.
I look at the clock, and see that 6 hours had passed from the moment I stepped out of the shower. I remember nothing, except vague psychedelic experiences.
This is a huge fuck up, but I'm grateful to be alive, and everything will 'probably' be ok.
I step outside. I'm still having strong hallucination and visual activity, akin to a very strong LSD visuals, but in reference to what I had just experienced, this was nothing. I light my cigarette, and try to feel my body. Surprisingly, besides the fresh wounds. I feel GREAT! I feel like a 100lb weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. Wow... I feel so clean? We can knock that off the bucket-list. I've always wanted to take a thumbprint. I had maybe 30 seconds of reveling in this awesome moment, before a friend (JJJJJ) of the family in the mansion, basically ran out of the house.
'How you feeling buddy?' Looking deep in my eyes with serious concern.
'I feel ok... I'm sooooo sorry dude! I don't know what happened' I've almost got tears in my eyes.
'Relax, its going to be ok, it happens to the best of us'
'No man, like, I'm really really sorry! What the FUCK happened? Where did all the fucking art in my house come from?'
'That's my life's work of art of me and my girlfriend, we were showing it to you piece by piece to keep you calm. We'd hand you a piece, which you would examine, and when you started to get excited, we would hand you another. We sat with you for about 5 hours. You were speaking complete gibberish, and apparently constructing energetic boxes or molecules with your hand.'
'Eventually, you started to speak a real word here and there in between the gibberish. After you were able to speak more than one word coherently, we knew you were going to be ok,
You were alot calmer, so we left. ZZZZZ found you in the yard last night, naked, covered in blood, screaming, trying to tear down the fence.'
Flashes of memory came back then. 'Oh shit', feeling waves of embarrassment and shame wash over me. I remembered when ZZZZZ had come home. He'd had his month old first child in his arms. I yelled or thought:
'GET THAT BABY AWAY FROM ME' (I just knew I was losing control)
'Whats wrong TTTTT, what did you take?!'
'LSD I took LSD'
'How much did you take'
'ONE! I TOOK 1 LSD' (I guess I didn't want to scare him and tell him a chemical he'd never heard of'
'Brother you're sweating hard, you need some water, I'll be right back!'
I reckoned yes, water was probably a good thing. By the time ZZZZZ had returned, I'd entered the koi pond, and was sitting like a yogi, with my arms on my knees palms facing up.
The bigger koi couldn't hide behind rocks, and didn't have a lot of space and I remember them circling me.
ZZZZZ handed me a glass of water which I promptly flung into the air.
'Take it easy, I'm not sure what to do so I'm going to call someone'
I exited the koi pond, zig zagging around the yard (I should mention it was in construction there were lots of sharp rocks here and there, this was probably how I'd hurt myself), bumping into posts, falling down, jumping, basically being a lunatic. I don't think much time (maybe 40 minutes had elapsed) since I left my house, so I still had some semblance of thought at the point ZZZZZ found me.
The next phase is much more unclear. I remember having conversations with every member of the family. I'd see their face appearing out of fractals. The conversations went something like this.
'I'm soooo sorry, I can't believe I did something this stupid. I've put your whole family in danger. I'm such a fucking idiot'
The face would respond 'Yeah TTTTT, you're an idiot. But... We love you, you're going to be ok, we forgive you. Everything is going to be ok. We're gonna get through this'
That face would melt/fall apart/disintegrate into fractals and psychedelic visions, but out of those fractals a new face would be built of another family member. Every single one of them. Even the baby, which wouldn't talk with me, it only giggled.
Later I learned that these conversations never happened in reality. Besides JJJJJ, at some point everyone was afraid to interact with me and wouldn't leave the Mansion. But everyone told me that they were deeply concerned for my safety. To this day, I don't think those conversations were entirely hallucination, I think there was some sort of telepathic connection with different individuals. I was also told that I was very hyper, sometimes running into objects with great force, and I would not even notice.
I was very hyper, sometimes running into objects with great force, and I would not even notice.
Besides these moments, I still have very little memory of the event. I was told a lot about what happened. I was apparently not violent and not showing signs of hurting myself or others, but I'd completely lost touch with reality. At first ZZZZZ called another family member, to ask for help. Remember, besides ZZZZZ the new father, pretty much everyone at party of one of the other family members, was tripping. One of the other family members apparently came back from the party to sit with me, but could not handle me. So they called another, and another until finally JJJJJ came, the one who sat with me for hours. I learned that they had called in a friend of the family who was a professional nurse to check on my health. Her diagnosis: while I was covered in blood, incoherent but happy, my vitals were all within safe range, and that it would do me much more harm to take me to a hospital. (God bless this woman I think right now!).
Maybe one last thing to mention is when I went to sleep the night after, I was only experiencing minor visuals. When I woke up the next morning, I felt 98% normal, and despite the injuries, my body felt great, and I feel like a great weight had been lifted off my shoulders. My injuries were numerous. I had a huge between my foot and big toe, and extensive nerve damage. 4 years later, I can say its recovered 50%, and I have some sensation. For 2 years I felt nothing, it was numb. I've also aquired a 2 inch scar running down my forehead. For this reason, I've been called Harry Blotter. Ok its mostly myself that calls me that, and 1 friend. It serves as a reminder of my stupidity.
So there it is. Maybe the stupidest most reckless thing I've ever done in my life. Do I regret it? No. I only regret how I did it.
Mistake #1 Taking it alone and not telling anyone what I did, until it was too late.
Mistake #2 Taking it in a very small house.
Mistake #3 Not taking the time to store my very incriminating evidence.
Mistake #4 Taking it without fully realizing or even considering what consequences might be the result of my self experimentation
Would I do it again? I definitely am not in any hurry to experience that level of consciousness anytime soon, with any substance. However if I did do it again, I would take it in a more natural setting (but not so far from society that it would be impossible to get help in the case of an emergency) with close and trusted friends WHO HAVE EXPERIENCE. I believe I am better and wiser for the experience, I am safer with my own experimentation, and now, I try and think about how my experimentation could impact others. I generally meditate before ingesting a substance and at the very least, I ask myself why am I doing this. The answer is often simply to explore my consciousness, but at least its not 'Because I can'. Anyway, I've been meaning to post this for years. I hope it's helpful.
Much love and thanks to all my friend and family, and all the freedom loving psychonaughts out there. I also extend my thanks to Sasha, 69ron, my friend I met in Indiana, and many many others. Keep your spirits high! But please please bee safe. I was lucky.
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