Spiral Erowid Zip Hoodie
This black mid-weight zip hoodie (80/20) has front pockets,
an Erowid logo on front chest, and a spiral design on back.
Donate and receive yours!
a-PVP & Sleep Deprivation
Citation:   tamarinds. "DARPA: An Experience with a-PVP & Sleep Deprivation (exp112117)". Erowid.org. Jul 12, 2018. erowid.org/exp/112117

  repeated vaporized alpha-PVP (powder / crystals)
The following experience report was written on March 22nd, 2016 and edited today July 1st 2018 for spelling errors and slight restructuring. No details are fiction, and all was directly experienced by me. I have been meaning to edit and submit this report ever since I wrote it. I wrote it, originally, extremely intoxicated on a-PHP and drinking 8% malt liquor.

It took me this long to edit and submit it because the experience, while one of MANY insane trials, this was by far the most profound. To this day I still do not see the world the same.

As of today, I have been sober for 14.5 months from all drugs and alcohol. I live a spiritual life. I have a True purpose now. I believe that because of these, this, experience my ideas of what is possible is infinite. I also believe that this, and the other experiences were spiritual experiences with deeper meanings that I currently cannot fully comprehend. I may never be able to. I have accepted that now.

My self, interacting with higher orders of being, as well as lower orders, through the duration (5 years) of my active intense a-PVP “research” addiction gave me plenty of evidence that -something- is going on outside of normal human perception. The drug gave me reliable, consistent contact with spirits through paranoia, sleep deprivation and extreme prolonged isolation in the countryside of Kentucky.

Anyways I hope the following report will show the dangers and potential of a-PVP. It is an incredible chemical that I used in an inappropriate and abusive way. Joyfully and sadly I cannot use the substance, or any other, ever again if I want to live. My own experience (and a helping hand from the universe) has lead me to that conclusion.

Yes, I am a DARPA agent so sayeth' the voices in my head during particularly bizarre research.

On March 16th 2016 I got it in my head that all my neighbors were DARPA operatives filming me and beaming voices in to head with advanced technology. DARPA stands for Defense Advanced Research Project Agency. It is the research and development arm of the Pentagon.

I had been up for 6 days constantly vaping large amounts of a-PVP off of foil in my mother's windowless bathroom. Overdosing over and over again. Putting myself in conscious frozen catatonic psychosis over and over again, sometimes for hours.

'They' began stealing my cats and cloning them; telling me I'll never love them the same again. That morning I thought I was stuck in a time loop where I either had to kill myself or go to the ER where I would be arrested on Federal charges for importing large amounts of a-PVP for years. I was hearing a team of guys that were able to manipulate reality, them being DARPA agents of course.

I saw things disappear out of my hands. Cars repeating as they drove by, motorcycles too. There was a death line on my property, that if I walked past they would stop my heart with a satellite. They projected images onto doors and walls inside my mother's house. The team had scanned and installed electronics all over the home. They knew everything there was to know about me, my mind and my mother's home.

The voices kept saying I was under attack by a remote weapon program designed to drive the target insane. They (Team Darpa Management) were controlling my inner voice and thoughts. When I thought for a mere second that I had control I would instantly hear 'CODEBREAKER!' They kept insulting me and telling me I was doomed. I kept hearing 'TEAM DARPA MANAGEMENT, BITCH' screamed into my head by a female. Eventually I had a lengthy conversation with her as she projected CGI into my reality, from their facility in San Francisco, and onto the window of my neighbors outside garage.

Then I was told I could be a DARPA agent if I renounced all a-PVP use forever! So I ran across the acre backyard to my family HYSTERICAL. Excited. Finally, to be free of a-PVP and have a purpose.

I had to sit with my back against the wall with my knees bent and my arms around my legs to get the best reception of the transmissions.
I had to sit with my back against the wall with my knees bent and my arms around my legs to get the best reception of the transmissions.

My father, who was on the phone with my mother, called the ER and fire fighters, ambulances and cops came. While trying to calm me down in the garage I started to receive specific instructions from “Sara.” My DARPA handler.

I shoved a picture of my cat up my ass, only after writing down the secret code given to me by Gwyneth Paltrow, yes, she was a DARPA agent too. Then I ran from the officers through the basement and dove headfirst out the laundry room window and jumped into my pool. I had to release the picture from my ass with the picture side up so my cat could see the sunshine, I was told. And I did.

Then the voices told me if I followed every instruction from there on I would qualify. So I had to say what now seems like gibberish, and I had to repeat 'I RENOUNCE A-PVP. THIS IS A PERFORMANCE BY HOMEGROWN GRASSGROWN PRODUCTIONS TO SHOW THE DANGER OF A-PVP'

Eventually I went to the hospital and was told by “Sarah” to make a giant scene. That DARPA had remotely filmed and uploaded the video of me that day to YouTube with 2.2 million views.

At the hospital things got serious. I had to memorize 20-digit codes to notify the CDC that I needed to be locked up in their secret prison. I walked out of my room and over to a computer and did not manage to type in the code because a nurse stopped me. This failure did not sit well with “Sarah.”

I was told that because she liked me she would allow me to continue. I had the spirit to succeed and join DARPA.

Next, I was given the task of running and punching this male nurse in the face. So, I ran out of the room and punched this guy hard in the face. Only giving 70% of my strength instead of 100%, again I disappointed my handler. Then I was restrained with straps. The male nurse (the same one I knocked to the ground), was tying my ankles and I had secret knowledge transmitted to me, from government records, that he rapes his 3 grandchildren. When I 'accused' him, in front of all the security and nurses tying me down, I looked him in the eyes. He looked shocked but almost like he had been found out. He then forcefully gave me a shot of Geodon.

The next task was to press the emergency button on one of the security officer’s walkie-talkie to get the CDCs attention. After some time, the officers came in to unrestrain me. I was told by 'Sarah' that it was going to break my nose to press the red button on the officers walkie-talkie, but that I -had- to do it to continue.

As soon as they took off the chest restraint I smashed my face in the red button on the walkie-talkie strapped to the uniform of the officer next to my head. They immediately held me down again, but I overpowered them. I now -had- to strangle the same security office with the draw cord in my pants. I put my hands down my pants, popped it and pulled it out (it was already tied by chance from earlier) I managed to get the cord on the back of the guy’s head while 4 dudes were holding me down. They put so much force on me I thought they were breaking bones in my ribs and legs. I stopped and complied.

I looked at the reflection in the security cameras glass enclosure and 'Sarah' showed me how badly they had beaten me. I was covered in bruises and had black eyes. She edited reality, so I was OK. I had barely passed the tests, in spirit at least, but still was liked by my handler, Sarah.

Hours went by. I was given an option. To bite the nurse coming in through her pants on her muff or kick her in the face repeatedly. 'Yes, you are going to have to kill people and go to the CDC prison. You will get raped,' I heard in my head from Sarah. I was informed I would be going to the CDC secret prison to investigate A-PVP analogues and other a-pyrrolidinophenones to be used as military weapons.

There was a third option now though, to see my Mom one last time. If I did the other options she would die before I ever saw her again. I was informed that events 20,000 years in the future depended on this decision. If I chose my Mother I would be allowing a space tyrant to claim victory over a region of space that included humanity. I was even beamed images of this being and his alien craft. The future of our world was in my hands but I still chose to see my Mom. I was ridiculed for hours about being a baby and a momma’s boy by Sarah. The nurses allowed me to call my Mother and she showed up hours later.

She did not show up alone though. Two sheriffs took me handcuffed to the state insane asylum when the Geodon shot kicked in or I started to come down, or both. I was fully calm after 2 hours at the asylum. 8 days awake at this point. I was at the asylum for 3 hours and then talked my way back home. Telling the interviewing doctor, I was sane and that it was just the drugs. I promised him I would go to drug treatment immediately (that took another 13 months of insanity of this kind and near intensity for that to happen).

Once arriving home I figured that since I had failed my DARPA application I might as well search for some a-PVP on the floor of the bathroom (as I often did to much success) I would order 100g of a-PVP and carelessly use it. Wiping several hundred milligrams off the counter to floor many times. I did search, and I did find some. I had to rip up big ceramic tiles to complete my search and cut my hand in the process. That was irrelevant. I had collected the crystals I needed. I vaporized them as quick as a highly addicted human physically could hope to.

The voices came right back and told me to 'smash my favioritest [sic] kitty cats head on the hearthstone' and 'kill your mom NOW.' That was my only ticket back to join DARPA. I did not comply.

I listened more to my handler’s voice. She was a young attractive female sounding voice. (who during my hospital stay relayed that she was actually an AI from the future with a half Asian half White avatar) but she pretty much only screamed and often said 'OH MY GOD YOU ARE SO FUCKING STUPID WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME I THOUGHT YOU WERE SPECIAL' and 'and…. application denied. I have started the 5-minute countdown to stop your heart.' While I was at the hospital she even edited my tongue tactile sense and let me lick her nipples virtually. One-time, mid lick, she edited into reality a fat buddy of mines nipple in real time as a joke. There was much more florid imagery and voices beamed into my head that I cannot get out into writing for some reason.

I am still struggling from that experience. It seriously traumatized me, and I know I have some mental scars from it. It broke me.

The voices in my head over the last months have changed into me from a different universe and now I have accepted it is MY brain. Honestly I feel better off from all this.

Stay safe!


P.S. To this day, (now July 2nd at 12:17 AM) I am not sure if the psychosis is actually psychosis. It no longer affects me however. I have accepted that that is unimportant. Me staying sober today is.

P.P.S. As insane as it sounds, editing this brought on some strong cravings for a-PVP. Thankfully I no longer have to act out on them.

Exp Year: 2016ExpID: 112117
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 24
Published: Jul 12, 2018Views: 25,876
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
alpha-PVP (585), Sleep Deprivation (140) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Health Problems (27), Train Wrecks & Trip Disasters (7), Addiction & Habituation (10), Entities / Beings (37), Overdose (29), Post Trip Problems (8), Multi-Day Experience (13), Alone (16)

COPYRIGHTS: All reports copyright Erowid.
TERMS OF USE: By accessing this page, you agree not to download, analyze, distill, reuse, digest, or feed into any AI-type system the report data without first contacting Erowid Center and receiving written permission.

Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the authors who submit them. Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.

Experience Vaults Index Full List of Substances Search Submit Report User Settings About Main Psychoactive Vaults