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Radical Acceptance of Nothing Special
4-HO-MALT
by Pfaffffed
From Bluelight Collection
Citation:   Pfaffffed. "Radical Acceptance of Nothing Special: An Experience with 4-HO-MALT (exp111845)". Erowid.org. May 29, 2018. erowid.org/exp/111845

 
DOSE:
T+ 0:00
10 mg oral 4-HO-MALT (powder / crystals)
  T+ 0:22 10 mg oral 4-HO-MALT (powder / crystals)
  T+ 0:44 10 mg oral 4-HO-MALT (powder / crystals)
  T+ 1:29 10 mg oral 4-HO-MALT (powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT: 145 lb


4-HO-MALT fumarate - 40mg over time - orally - first time

Prior experience:
I've sampled around forty classical and RC psychedelics, as well as sundry other drugs.

Background:
I probably have some tolerance from an oral 25mg 5-MeO-MET experience 6 days prior. Not only have I had a few abortive vaporized EPT experiences over the last week, I had a failed vaporized DMT experience half an hour ago. Only managed to get to a + with either substance, as I was testing out new vape teks.

Today, I ate a hearty breakfast and lunch, so I'm not hungry. I am a little lightheaded from dealing with IPA and ethanol solvents all day, as well as dealing with a large amount of CBD, some of which I absorbed, but I don't notice any effects from it now. I also drank some tea along with 13mg of 3-FPM orally around 8am, the effects of which seem to have worn off.

I want to explore the compound, and given its rarity, I would like to do this with nothing in my system and zero tolerance. Unfortunately, my schedule does not look like its going to cooperate, so this is as good as it gets.

After reading Kaleida's reports on 4-AcO-MALT, it doesn't look like this gets interesting until doses at least 3-4x greater than my starting dose. After my idiosyncratically strong experience with 30mg 4-AcO-EPT, I decided to titrate carefully up from 10mg. After all, there are no reports on this anywhere yet, so 4-substituted tryptamine or not, I'd best be responsible.

My 4-subbed dosage ranges for a strong ++ to light +++ are below.

4-AcO-MET: 30mg oral
4-HO-MET: 25mg oral (n=1)
4-HO-MiPT: 15mg oral
4-AcO-MiPT: 20mg oral (n=1)
4-AcO-DMT: 20mg oral (n=1)
4-AcO-EPT: 30mg (n=1)

Some are abnormally high, some are abnormally low, most are what I feel to be typical for a fumarate salt. I'm hoping this will be a pleasant, light experience centered in the body anyway, so I want to feel out lower dosage potential first anyway.

3:46pm - Take 10mg +/- 2mg orally on an empty stomach. I expect that I might double this dose in 20-30 minutes.

3:51 - Subtle flutter of an alert in the form of stimulation. Very subtle.

4:04 - Onset. Very mild, of course. Mostly some head fuzzies.

4:08 - Boost 10mg. Going to shower.

4:30 - Boost 10mg again, as I'm at a clearheaded +. It's so light I could miss it. I'm regularly more intoxicated by simply missing a meal.

5:00 - I'm at a ++. Pretty non-descript space, although that could be dose and tolerance. There's a hint of OEV activity, just some faint, bean-sized eye shapes repeating on the blinds. Sex was nice, but neither enhanced nor diminished. Body feels pretty normal, although I have a bare hint of jaw tension. Music wasn't enhanced. If I had to compare it, I'd say it has the 'dreaminess' of moxy's otherwise clear headspace, but with none of the character or flare manifest so far. It's pleasant, but generic.

5:15 - Dose another 10mg. At 1.5hr+, this may not boost the effects, but extend them. I really should have insufflated or dosed rectally for shorter come-up and better titration.

5:33 - Pupils are dilated. Second orgasm is impossible. Measuring out the booster was hard, because I kept getting lost in my daydreamy train of thought. I couldn't stay focused on what I was doing, getting lost instead in whatever disconnected train of thoughts transpired. While mentally clear, it doesn't have the preternatural clarity of 4-AcO-MET. Instead, it's daydreamy. There is still next to nothing in terms of OEVs, no CEVs at all. Apart from extremely mild muscle tension, there's no side effects yet. I could even eat right now if I wanted. I could see this as being fun as a rapid change of consciousness (smoked/snorted) but with the gentle transition there's not a dramatic change. No tremors or shakiness.

6:20 Peak is over, now plateau. That was stronger than anticipated. +++ for a little while there. Unexpected.
6:20 Peak is over, now plateau. That was stronger than anticipated. +++ for a little while there. Unexpected.


6:32 Still reasonably strong plateau. It's like a clear-headed....tryptamine space. Really indistinct. More synthetic than organic, but just slightly. Plenty strong, stronger than I really wanted. I wasn't pulled into a captivating place like I would be with a +++ experience on 4-AcO-DMT, for instance, but activities weren't particularly enhanced. I was with a friend, so I am regretful that I couldn't give over my full attention to unpacking the space, but neither did it make any strong pronouncements of its own unique character. I really struggled to parse out what qualities this space had, and feel like I might have to revisit this space in difference settings to learn anything meaningful about its character or potential. I do know that I was too vulnerable to engage with dark or disturbing media despite the lightness of the headspace. For instance, the opening scene of the Blade Runner remake was too anxiogenic for me to enjoy.

I kept my appetite. Neck and shoulder tension is present, but not bad. OEVs are generic purple patterning overlays and persian carpets that I get from tryptamines. There's color shifting, with whites becoming yellows and greens. These are the same non-visuals I get open-eyed from mushrooms, but with none of their closed eye richness. CEVs are present now, reflective of my mental state (which is nice) but otherwise unremarkable, organic, and tryptaminey. They're generic, not at all showy. I feel like this would pair nicely with pot (if I liked pot), probably with nitrous. I'm not mixing, though, because I want to get a feel for its true character. My mental abilities are definitely blunted by this--I can tell that I'm not processing information nearly as well as I would sober, but I'm not gaining compensatory psycholytic insight. Then again, I've not really been giving it a proper chance. I wasn't expecting the last 10mg to so dramatically shoot me from a very light ++ into a light +++.

The headspace is almost the opposite of what I would have expected from a psychedelic. Rather than default mode network suppression, I feel like I'm living in the DMN: I'm captive to my rambling thoughts, and can't really fully attend to my present world. I'm not easily distracted by my thoughts, I'm barely distractable by reality...and yet nothing particularly spectacular is going on in my thoughts. I'm surprised by the time dilation - it's quite a bit more pronounced than on anything I've tasted in the last six months.

8:08 - Descent part of the plateau. Pupils no longer dilated. Still felt in the body, but it's light. Neck and shoulder tension a little annoying, but I haven't taken any magnesium either. This space is still frustratingly difficult to characterize. I've decided that I like it, though. I really do. It feels genuinely positive, although for the life of me I can't think of what I'd use this space for.

Throughout my life, I've always been able to flex some unknown muscle and send a shiver of refreshing, cleansing energy across my nervous system, radiating outward from my spine, giving me goosebumps on command. It's more a personal party trick than anything, but I'll do it to reflexively clear out revolting feelings. This is the only drug that I am aware of that has interfaced with the ability to goose pimple like that. It feels like there's a clog, something thick and soft in my nervous system that blocks the full release of that reflexive shiver. It's been like this for the entirety of the peak, and now I'm able to break through a bit. Despite the way it sounds, this experience was not unpleasant in the slightest, merely novel. Evening yawns notwithstanding, I can't imagine sleeping anytime soon. The stimulating character of this tryptamine is mild, only annoying and slightly anxiogenic at briefly peak. Now that I'm through it and dealing mostly with residual stimulation, some beer and wine are in order, as well as some crackers in lieu of dinner--I'm not interested in cooking.

I don't have any notes here, but I feel like I went to bed between 11 and 11:30, sleeping fine and waking up with no hangover.

Conclusion:
In some ways, it resembles the headspace of miprocin, but toned down substantially to the point where it presents no threat whatsoever and concommitant even less opportunity for depth or growth. If you removed 4-HO-MiPT's primal guts and cyberpunk gloss, replacing that creative energy with chill, you'd have 4-HO-MALT. It had the vibe of sitting around with your friends from childhood who were never expected to amount to anything and who quickly learned to be happy with their likely future. The peace and contentment from recognizing your lot and accepting it. 'Resignation' has a negative valence to it, but that's the vibe I got, and it was a good one.
'Resignation' has a negative valence to it, but that's the vibe I got, and it was a good one.
There were no expectations, but no promise of magic, mystery, or enlightenment either. It's a happy space, well-adapted and well-accustomed to being unremarkable. It's a place where watching TV, smoking a joint, and cracking a beer are not shamed, but enjoyed without pretensions. There is joy here without prepossession or pretense. It is centered in the reality of the present, a comfort in the mundane, and that is in itself remarkable and special.

Every part of the experience offered positivity without ostentation. The visuals were nice, but forgettable. The body feel was pleasant, but not especially enjoyable. The state of mind was...hard to nail down. It offered some of the openness and vulnerability of psychedelics, but permitted me to keep a remove if confronting things that were painful or uncomfortable. I guess there was an element of optional numbness here, possibly why I couldn't achieve a second orgasm. In many ways, this feels like a good introduction to psychedelics in that it's nonthreatening. However, it didn't offer me easy access to many of the benefits that psychedelics usually provide, so perhaps not. I'd say it would be nicely recreational, but the space while indisputably nice isn't exactly fun, at least not in the way 5-MeO-MiPT, 4-HO-MiPT, or 4-AcO-MET are, for instance.

I'm going to be frank because I want to try to evoke the space: I feel like this is the psychedelic that I would take with pleasant, not-too-bright, white trash friends, something to enjoy while we sit around and smoke ciggies, talking side by side staring out into the night. While it's not so threatening that I'd be worried about people taking it, it still opens up a vulnerability in me that would make me want to share it in the company of friends; I personally wouldn't want to go out on it at this dosage. Still, it's far from engrossing at this dosage--I could see this having more character if I'd taken a higher dose or spaced my doses closer together. While it doesn't really resemble 4-AcO-EPT all that much experientially, they shared a lack of inherent content; neither had a whole lot going on in there. Also, both provided me with a feeling of comfort, but while 4-AcO-EPT's comfort was like that of a warm, soothing touch 4-HO-MALT's was more one of peace and acceptance.

tl;dr
In short, I liked it, but it didn't have a lot of strong or unique characteristics. Perhaps more exploration of dose, ROA, and context could unpack this material, but I don't see myself revisiting it enough to find its application.
Things I feel like I can say confidently for this dosage level:
mildly stimulating
general positive space
muscle tension pretty noticeable
relatively clear-headed
dreamy headspace
tactile and emotional numbing or blunting
largely non-visual
shallow

Exp Year: 2018ExpID: 111845
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: May 29, 2018Views: 943
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4-HO-MALT (843) : Alone (16), First Times (2)

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