DOSE:

400 ug

oral

ALD-52

(blotter / tab)

BODY WEIGHT:

100 kg

Mindset was slightly nervous as it would be the largest dose I've ever taken, but overall calm and positive about going into the experience. *2 Weeks Prior I had a slightly negative trip on 200mcg of the same substance, there were a lot of responsibilities that had come up expectantly which caused mild anxiety exacerbated by the substance, but I was able to get over the negative thought loops*

Setting was reserved to my room as well out front in the yard to watch the stars (ended up being a cloudy night)

I had prepared mentally the day before, fasted for 18 hours and ate healthier than usual, stayed away from caffeine and sugar. No trip sitter, no responsibilities for the next 2 days and prepared to draw, make notes, play guitar, listen to music, watch a movie - but try not to distract too much from the message of the trip.

Purpose of the trip was to understand my psyche and overcome every day anxiety about small things, learn to be more empathetic to others and take care of myself.

T+0:00 - Approximately 8pm Took 4 Tabs estimated at 100mcg each on a full stomach (ate dinner 30-45 minutes prior) - Sat and watched random youtube videos until the trip kicked in.

T+0:30 - Hands and feet started to feel sensitive, a slight electrifying tingle throughout my body. The visuals starting to creep in already where my cursor on my computer screen traced and sentences on the screen move around morphing up and down.

T+1:00 - Visuals are kicking and 8b geometry is starting to form on the walls of my room. There's a slight auditory buzzing sound like the exhaust of a car idling in the distance but increase and decreasing in intensity at different pitches.

T+2:00 - I'm sitting in my chair staring at a wall next to my bed, the bedspread has lined patterns and the geometry is forming and morphing from the walls onto the bed creating a pattern between the lines and increasing in size. My field of vision is widening - colours are much brighter and vibrant. My body is feeling electrified, I have a blanket draped over me and moving the blanket across my skin makes me shiver in pleasure.

T+3:00 - At this point I've been sitting in silence for the past 2 hours, so I put on some music to help the trip progress. At this point I'm just astounded by the clarity and intensity the music is playing on the visuals, the auditory hallucinations subsided while I'm listening, but as soon as a song stops I feel this vibration in the back of my head. The wallpaper on my desktop is a rendered spiraling pattern morphed into a face of a beautiful women with long sweeping blonde hair and deep blue eyes and its mesmerizing so I sit for a couple of minutes fixated on her face and the intricacies of the patterns and details.

T+4:00 - I had gone to the bathroom a number of times and each time I spent possibly 10-15 minutes now fixating on my own face, the geometric patterns are draped over my face and it appears to create a vortex of my surroundings slightly messing with my sense of self. My bathroom is extremely bright and white where the visuals have full control over me and it feels like I've walked into another dimension, walls shimmer and expand with intricate patterns it seems you would only find in a temple of some ancient civilization. Before I would only see layers of patterns over objects/walls, but this was different. I could see layers upon layers which created a 3rd dimensional view of the pattern as if you could stick your hand through it.

T+5:00 - It was now 1 or 2am in the morning and I decided to put on an Infected Mushroom album I had just discovered (Return to the Sauce) which I thought was majestically timed as I reached a possible peak to this trip. I put the lights off, turned off the computer screen and played the music. I reclined back in my chair, draped myself with a blanket in the pitch dark of my room and meditated with the sounds of psychedelic alien-esque music I have never heard before, the visuals and auditory hallucinations played symphonies together with the music and created the most intense trip I've had to date. I closed my eyes and let the trip take me wherever it wanted, I had forgotten who I was, where I was and my body had become a part of the geometry that covered my entire room, my ego was neither there or here it wasn't shattered, but gone. During one of the songs I had fallen into a deep state where it felt like I was looking through a 3rd eye, strange and funny as it sounds but all I did was cross my eyes as if you were looking at 2 images to create a 3d image, called stereoscopic vision? This created a new depth to the layers of patterns I was seeing

T+6:00? - An hour later it felt as if my ego was trying to get back to grips after being blasted into space, I couldn't envision what I looked like. I sat in my bed and watched the visuals rush through my room, trying to control the speed and direction at which the patterns moved. There had been a recurring theme during the trip and most trips I've had, the substance created a sense of purpose by following a law of nature and I started to realize that my empathy for others was ruined by my selfishness, after being a part of the geometry I realized that I experienced what I can only describe as a consciousness of some entity for which nature follows, I become a part of something beyond my actions as an individual and my worries weren't important.

T+8:00? - I couldn't recall much after this point as my brain was a confused and mushy mess, but I do remember the trip hitting a plateau and descending early hours of the morning. I listened to Kindzadza and doodled in my notebook this sparked many thoughts about the infinity of our universe, the evolution of alien life and habitats involved in generating these kinds of entities and civilizations that would differ so greatly to ours and how we would ever be able to communicate (possibly through music?)

Thereafter I sat and listened to Alan Watts where I contemplated and made notes about how the geometry covers our entire universe and is some sort of being or entity call it 'god' that is infinite in it's structure and is ever-expanding in both space and time. This intrigues me because if a life is not lived well in this universe, there is an alternate universe where a version of me may have taken reality for a ride to the very top or perhaps not and this version of reality may be the only chance I get to take whatever this is and make something out of it. Ultimately, the reality I've been dealt and created for myself can be changed willingly if I ride the wave of chaos and enjoy life to the last breath, I would've created order in doing so. I life well lived through the nature of this entity

I may be ranting here and none if it may make sense because a lot of it was feeling, not just thought, but it was the most profound life changing experience I've ever had and I felt a needed to share it.

I stayed awake until around 6am in the morning when the substance finally allowed me to fall asleep, up until then I still had mild auditory hallucinations and fading geometric patterns. When I woke up a few hours later, this had disappeared completely but I had a very fuzzy/distorted vision and some confusion like I had a really long weird dream.

'This is It
and I am It
and You are It
and so is That
and He is It
and She is It
and It is It
and That is That'

Exp Year: 2018	ExpID: 111809
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 24
Published: Apr 10, 2018	Views: 3,731
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ALD-52 (748) : General (1), Music Discussion (22), Personal Preparation (45), Glowing Experiences (4), Alone (16)