Citation: V. "Reality Destroyed MK-Ultra 2.0: An Experience with 25I-NBOMe (exp111760)". Erowid.org. May 10, 2018. erowid.org/exp/111760
The doses described in this report are potentially life threatening. The amount taken is beyond a heavy dose and could pose serious health risks or result in unwanted, extreme effects. Doses such as this have been known to cause hospitalizations and/or deaths. Sometimes extremely high doses reported are errors rather than actual doses used.]
I had recently obtained a gram of 25i-nbome from a supplier from which I frequently purchased various novel psychoactive compounds. This was going to be the strongest substance I had tried next to LSD. I had tried it a few other times as blotters, and a few times prior via vaporization and sublingual routes. I also came to realize that it absorbed very well through the skin when laying blotters for friends. This trip was entirely accidental, and since I did not expect it things went very bad very quick.
It was a normal day, I had gone to work and was finally home for the day. Plus, best thing of all, it was Friday! I worked at a finance company as a customer service representative which could be stressful at times. I usually came home to unwind and then experiment with a new substance or route of administration at this time. There were new chemicals coming out pretty much every week at that point in time. It was a perfect scenario for someone who has a high degree of novelty seeking and enjoyed experiencing new states of mind. I had just dissolved a gram of 25i-nbome in 500mL of isopropyl alcohol the day prior, and I thought to myself that I should probably dye it blue to differentiate it from water. I neglected to do this, and this was my first mistake.
Being that it was summer I was consuming a lot of water from bottles that were similar in look to this bottle of 25i-nbome solution. Somehow, due to my neglect, the bottle of 25i-nbome got mixed up with a bottle of water and I took it with me on a bike ride to the local park. I met up with some friends and we began to unwind and play hacky-sack. A few of us went into the woods to smoke some cannabis. We came back from the woods and found that a few more strangers had joined our party. One of them a girl who wanted to ride my bike because it was a retro racing bike. I allowed her to do so and then we got to know each other a little bit. At some point I remembered I had a bottle of water to quench my cotton-mouth that I had developed. I took a large swig, and then (about 5 seconds later) I felt a stinging before I could swallow. Then it dawned on me what I had done; I spit the swig of nbome solution out but it was too late. I announced very quickly what I had done to everyone there so if anything happened we'd all be on the same page (at least there was one other person who knew exactly what 25i-nbome was and could help.) I calculated the approximate dose I had just sublingualled to be 300mg less whatever didn't get absorbed.
Suddenly, reality began to break. I looked at a tree and it was a layer, and the river in the background another layer, and I was my own layer. It was as if everything had its own layer depending on where it was in my visual field. It was as if reality was sliced into different layers as if everything were a painting. Everything began to look surreal, but more vivid than normal at the same time. The girl and her friend went with me down by the river as the trip began to intensify. What have I done I asked myself. The answer I already knew. I just didn't know how to fix the situation. My mental state began to deteriorate. I found a large ant walking across a rock that I was sitting on. I gave it a drop of the nbome solution out of curiousity. The ant began to rub his feelers with his front legs as if he was trying to remove the solution. He then proceeded to walk and eventually he began to stand on his hind legs and put his front legs together as if he was praying to me. Probably to make the experience stop I thought to myself. I felt terrible for if he felt anything like I did at the time then I wished for his misery to end. 'Now he's going to die,' I said out loud as I grew worried about the ant's condition. I, in essense, was in the same boat as the ant. The girl I was with replied, 'At least he got to trip before he died.' I took this to heart. At least if this extreme dose of 25i-nbome killed me, I'd die doing what I loved (experimenting with novel substances.)
It grew dark and one of our musician friends came around. My best friend informed him of what had occurred and immediately the musician friend grew very concerned. 'How the fuck are you alive right now?!' I told him it was probably due to my having a tolerance since I had been playing with this compound for the past few days. He assured me that no tolerance can prevent death from such an overdose. I couldn't calm down. It was as if my soul wanted to escape my body, but instead it was bouncing around my insides trying to get out. So much nervous energy I couldn't channel it. I quite frankly can't remember how I got home, but I know that I must have biked down the main road through town.
When I got home I remember looking up information about MK-Ultra, and I convinced myself that the research chemicals that were being developed and distributed were a new form of this mind control program developed during World War II. I called my best friend at some point trying to explain my theory to him. He was shook. First, he wondered how I had heard of this program so I explained. Somehow, it had surfaced to my conscious mind during this trip after being hidden away since childhood. I first learned of it when I was at my Grandmother's house when I was exploring the internet at age 8. I didn't understand the exact depth of what I was learning at the time, and I didn't realize that the knowledge I was learning had been hidden away from most textbooks. I digress. This 'realization' of what may or may not be occuring bothered me deeply and my psyche began to shatter. I was further bothered by the fact that it was the year 2012 and many social transformations were occuring. Protests were going on across the country and every day we were hearing about the Mayans having predicted the end of the world. There was also the fact that Anonymous had been hacking into countless websites and databases. As those who lived through this period remember, no one was safe.
As my situation progressed and I became increasingly paranoid the weekend came to an end and I had to return to work that Monday. Upon my return to work, I recall having many instances in which I told customers the government was spying on them. I'm sure my supervisors were very concerned about my mental state. Psychosis had seemed to creep in at this point; this was beyond tripping. Eventually, I filed for FMLA and sought treatment at a psychiatric hospital that also specialized in drug dependency treatment. I remember having to explain what 25i-nbome was to the guy doing my intake. He was utterly confused because no one had heard of this drug. While there I was given antipsychotics and SSRIs to reduce the impact of the drug (Prozac and Zyprexa.) After two weeks of treatment I was capable of explaining to the psychiatrist responsible for my care what my plan was once I left. He allowed me to go home as long as I continued to take my meds and seek treatment.
After coming home, I quit my job without any good reason and began to work in a dirty warehouse. This is something that I regret to this day. I allowed 25i-nbome to side track my entire career. Things would never be the same. When all my friends asked what happened, I often gave them the explanation 'I tripped for 40 days and 40 nights.' They were somewhat shocked by my response being such. But, its the response that felt most natural to me. I really had tripped 'for 40 days and 40 nights.' When I looked at the calander and tallied the days and nights, it was 40 of each.
The fact that 40 days and 40 nights may remind you of the story of the flood that Noah survived in the Christian bible is no surprise. This is what most people were reminded of when I told my tale. I, after having time to reflect, am somewhat amazed myself that this was really how long the trip lasted. Being someone not of religious background, I did not give second thought to telling people that I had tripped for this amount of time. Again, this explanation just rolled off my tounge and held true. I actually came to learn that the number 40, according to many scholars, is representative of a time of testing or judgement by God. After coming to my senses, I became extremely fascinated by the experience and was much more open to religions in general. There had to be something to them if what I experienced just happened to me. Maybe a higher power was testing me, or maybe it was just the drugs activating the same part of the brain involved in religious experience as has been documented to happen so many times.
All in all, what I took from this experience is that one should always put safety first and dye solutions blue BEFORE storing them. Also, I came to believe that there is definitely something more to the bible and religions than meets the eye. I also discovered that my physiology is quite different than most people's seeing as I miraculously survived this ordeal with minimal negative effects while others have died after having consumed much less. My friends still are amazed to this day that I am still alive. Despite the fact that I am known by the closest people in my circle to have regularly taken heroic doses of many types of drugs with less effect than most, none of them expected me to come out of this relatively unphased. Me taking upwards of 25mg doses of 25i-nbome was not unusual, and I've done this multiple times on purpose. But, this dose was an entire order of magnitude outside of my above average doses. I urge anyone reading to please be careful with such potent compounds. Also, I apologize because I feel I contributed to this substances' becoming illegal the following year.
Thank you for taking the time to read about some of the most irresponsible behavior I took part in as a teenager. I'm working on recollecting the rest of the tales from that era now that I am in my mid-twenties so that the world may forever remember my ignorance.
Much love, V.
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