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My Journey Into Hell
Phenibut
by Tangerine
Citation:   Tangerine. "My Journey Into Hell: An Experience with Phenibut (exp111306)". Erowid.org. Feb 5, 2018. erowid.org/exp/111306

 
DOSE:
    Smarts - Phenibut
      Pharms - Buprenorphine
      Naloxone
      Nicotine
      Pharms - Clonazepam

BODY WEIGHT: 135 lb


[Erowid Note: The dose described in this report is very high, potentially beyond Erowid's 'heavy' range, and could pose serious health risks or result in unwanted, extreme effects. Sometimes extremely high doses reported are errors rather than actual doses used.]

Phenibut, klonopin, gabapentin, Suboxone, nicotine

My journey into hell, started with my psychiatrist lowering my dose of klonopin. I have addiction issues, but I also have severe social anxiety with panic attacks. I was freaking out about my klonopin dose being lowered. I dd some online research, to find a good anti anxiety drug.

Enter Phenibut. At first I was looking at Kratom, but I read that it can be speedy and it affects the opiate receptors. Since I was on Suboxone, and I prefer downers, Phenibut seemed like the perfect drug. It was a gaba drug, like klonopin, and it was a nootropic. I had never tried nootropics, but was intrigued.

I ordered 10g, and initially only took a quarter of a teaspoon at first. It felt like a benzo, and I was convinced I'd found what I was looking for. The 10g went fast, so next time I ordered 50g. I measured the baking soda like powder with a teaspoon, and was soon taking around 2g a day.

At first, I was in love with Phenibut. It completely took away my anxiety, and made me very talkative and confident. In the beginning I experienced cognitive euphoria, and a combination of sedation and speediness. It was great combo. I nodded out a lot, but also felt sharp. I felt smarter. It was amazing. Coffee and Phenibut seemed to have a synergistic effect. I could drink half a pot of coffee, and still feel relaxed.

I didn't feel the need to take my gabapentin prescription, so I had a lot saved. I also took less suboxone. I did combine it with klonopin, and found the combination to be amazing. I was in love. I was soon spending a ton of money on phenibut, because I had to keep upping the dose in order to feel the euphoria and sedation. I was now taking almost 4g daily.

It started causing me severe stomach issues, and I would get terrible rebound anxiety. I didn't experience withdrawal, until a package from my former go-to company was late. I had severe brain fog, bad anxiety, and insomnia. I drove to the hospital, but did not go in. I didn't want my psychiatrist to find out, and stop prescribing klonopin. I took valium to help with the symptoms. The package came 2 days later. It wasn't that bad, so I figured that as long as I had a continuous supply I would never go through bad withdrawals. I'd read something scary about how phenibut withdrawals are very similar to alcohol and benzo withdrawals.

It wasn't until a few months into my dependence, that I experienced some bad withdrawals.
It wasn't until a few months into my dependence, that I experienced some bad withdrawals.
My package never arrived, so I had to order more. During the wait I was terrified of the withdrawals, and took gabapentin as a substitute. I'd read that this could relieve some of the symptoms. It barely helped. I experienced severe panic, severe restlessness, heart palpitations, insomnia, and some white noise. I knew then that I needed to get off. Unfortunately, I had a falling out with the company that was supplying the phenibut. Luckily I found two companies that had great reputations, and I bought 30g from one and 125g from another. This phenibut wasn't like baking soda. It was more crystalized. I was now taking 5-6g daily, and I figured I could wean myself off of it.

However it did not go as planned, and I continually put off the weaning. I would barely feel any euphoria, so I just kept upping the dosage. This phenibut needed a scale, and I didn't want to eyeball it, so I used my dad's coffee bean scale. No one knew of my dependence, and I was having a very hard time hiding it now. My fiance is very anti drugs, except for weed, so I definitely couldn't tell him.

Every time I would dose, my hands would shake because I was so scared I would be found out. I was close to running out, and both companies were out of phenibut. Luckily, I found another source. I was now having interpose withdrawals. My hands would shake, and I would get SEVERE anxiety. This was now coupled with a new symptom. Paranoia. I would also occasionally not get relief, and was convinced I'd screwed up my gaba receptors.

I started combining the phenibut with gabapentin, which only made my tolerance go up even faster. I was now taking 10g daily, with a handful of gabapentin. I was truly scared, and felt completely trapped. I started to feel suicidal. I couldn't tell anyone for fear of being put into rehab. I would occasionally get severe insomnia and heart palpitations, even with the phenibut. The interdose withdrawals were now happening after just 7-8 hours. I finally couldn't take it anymore, and told my therapist. He agreed not to tell my psychiatrist, if I promised to tell him myself.

Now, I was taking 11-13g daily. I was hearing white noise a lot now, and was terrified. I wasn't feeling any relief, so I decided to take 14g combined with a lot of gabapentin. I ended up overdosing. The symptoms were restlessness, severe white noise, and extreme drowsiness. I slept for 12 hours. The next day I took 13g again but didn't feel anything, so I decided to take 15g. I fell asleep briefly, then went to a scheduled doctor's appointment. I asked her for a short term prescription for Ambien. I lied and said I was seeing my psychiatrist in a week. I got 10 5mg Ambien. In the car, I started to feel the restlessness and extremely tired. I slept for almost 12 hours again.

I woke up at midnight, and stayed up all night. The next day, I was feeling off. I was tired, but I could NOT get to sleep. I ended up taking all 10 Ambien, but I still couldn't sleep. I could not sleep at all. I didn't even nod out for a second, I was completely awake. I tried to sleep, but couldn't. I didn't take any phenibut, and was now experiencing severe nystagmus. I was terrified to take any phenibut, and finally told my mom. Being a former addict herself, she was very sympathetic. She did some cursory research, and found out that severe insomnia can happen after an overdose. After 3 days, I was having severe muscle twitching and other horrible symptoms.

I caved, and took 100mg of phenibut. It seemed to exacerbate the symptoms, so my mom took me to the ER. I was convinced I was overdosing, and begged them to give me flumazenil. I cried, and admitted to my severe addiction. The doctor said that if I was given that drug, I could go into a coma because my dependence was so severe. I got 1mg IV ativan, and only felt it for a few minutes. The doctor was very sympathetic, and gave me a prescription for 5 Ativan.

I got home, and took all 5. I didn't really sleep, as much as going in and out of consciousness. I was hallucinating. My room looked different, and I saw a lot of people in my room. I started to go into severe withdrawals, and that is when I finally sought help.

My psychiatrist did not commit me to the hospital. He was going to prescribe gabapentin, and I told him that wouldn't work. He then suggested lyrica, but I told him that only Baclofen would help. I'd read online that that is the only medication that can truly relieve withdrawals. He put me on 30 msg of Baclofen a day, and bumped up my klonopin to 1 mg a day for two weeks. To this day, I am still on Baclofen. A huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I was very close to committing suicide.

Phenibut is a serious drug. It can be taken responsibly, but if you've go addiction issues stay as far away as possible.

Exp Year: 2016ExpID: 111306
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: 29 
Published: Feb 5, 2018Views: 6,299
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Smarts - Phenibut (379) : Combinations (3), Overdose (29), Addiction & Habituation (10), Not Applicable (38)

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Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.


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