Citation: Makpak. "Sensual, Then Overwhelming: An Experience with MDMA & 5-HTP (exp11100)". Erowid.org. Apr 27, 2007. erowid.org/exp/11100
Preparation: I have heard some conflicting opinions on 5-htp (i.e. if loading for a few days before an MDMA trip helps build serotonin a makes for a more powerful trip or not, and if it helps reduce the slight depression one gets after rolling or not). So wanting to see for myself, I decided to go to my local health store and pick up a bottle of the stuff. The directions on the bottle were to take 1x50mgs daily. I decided to take 3x50mgs daily for 4 days before the trip. I also decided to prepare myself mentally for the following few days (i.e. staying in a positive mood) in hopes of being in the best mind set for my first E trip in an after-hours club.
Mind set: It had been a good evening when the time came to leave for the party. We had a heavy turkey supper for thanksgiving/brotherís birthday accompanied with much wine and beer so that had me slightly worried for fear of puking. And I was still slightly sad because I had lost my new blue hat in a bar the night before and the cops had taken some weed from me. But otherwise I was in a great mood, definitely ready for some hard-core rolliní. I headed to the party with about 20 people and to my disappointment nobody was rolling that night except me.
The Experience: We get into the after-hours club at about 11:45pm, I walk around the place for about 20 minutes in order to get comfortable, find the bath rooms and locate the essential water bottle refill areas. At about 12:10am I pop my first dose of about ~150-170 mgs of high grade MDMA in a gel-cap. Being somewhat experienced with E, this time I decided to notice exactly how the drug comes on.
T+00:30, just sitting on a couch chilling, I feel pretty nervous, like a tightness in my chest, hands are clammy and I am restless.
T+00:45, I start to feel the effects of the somewhat high dose, itís like as if my hearing was drowned out for half a second and I felt/heard a ďWHOOOSHĒ as the MDMA mustíve been entering my synapses, followed by a sudden wave of dizziness. I head downstairs to refill my water bottle for I feel this is gonna be an intense trip! By the time I finish filling the bottle, and now I am fully launched into the roll, all in the span of five minutes.
I start to notice how beautiful the flashing lights are and the techno sounds GREAT all while bobbing my head unconsciously to it. There are girls everywhere, I spot one with a sexy thong sticking out of her pants and realize that life is amazing, everything is as it should be, raving is the best thing ever and I wonder why I have never gone to one before. All my senses are being stimulated in the best possible ways, I am enjoying hugging the girls I am with and talking to my friends. All while wanting to scream from the top of my lungs: ďTHIS IS GREAT!!!!!!!!!Ē. But I donít want to attract to much attention so I must restrain myself from doing so.
Iím not much of a dancer so Iím spending most of the time chilling on couches and sitting on the huge club speakers, letting the bass flow through my entire body, this is the best feeling ever. This is a very strong roll so as usual I surprise myself by clenching my teeth with surprising strength: ďI thought weíd been over this before!.Ē So not wanting to grind my molars down to useless stumps, I walk over to my friend M and ask her for some gum. I take 3 pieces! My jaw muscles work away happily at the gum, somewhat reducing the tension in them. Then comes the moment of truth, its time to take a piss. As is usual on MDMA, Iím never able to exorcise my pee demons, so I doodle around with weasel for about 20 minutes in a bathroom stall a realize that all my forcing and struggling is in vain, I leave the bathroom and continue rolliní.
T+2:00, Iím still very high but I fear that eventually I might just come down, thatís the problem with E; I always want more. So I decide to pop a ďboosterĒ dose of ~100mgs. I have noticed at this point, as Is usual with E, smoking cigarettes is GREAT! (if youíre into that sort of thing). Iím smoking a butt at every 15 minutes! But I know Iíll wake up with the most disgusting sore throat in the morning.
Girls are massaging me and Iím having the most amazing and meaningful conversations of my life, or so it seems. All while listening to the extremely loud bass oriented techno music and watching the crazy life show.
T+2:30, here we go, the booster dose kicks in. Itís not as noticeable as the onset of the first pill, but I can definitely tell that the roll has just been taking up by quite a notch! I go downstairs to fill up my water again (something I have done many times already tonight). I buy an apple and an orange at the refreshment stand (bad idea as you will see in a bit) I eat them both and they taste great.
T+2:45, I finally find a girl I can sit down with and get/give massages to. Sheís a cool chick whoís moved here from Russia a month ago and sheís with some other Russian guy whoís tripping on a few hits of acid. Massages on E are a source of pure elation for me, as is any other form of touching. We make out for a little while, but I notice that there is nothing sexual about this encounter. It is purely Sensual. ďSensualĒ, in my opinion, is a word that captures with highest accuracy, the essence of an MDMA trip. Itís all about stimulating your senses and those of others around you.
I draw unspeakable pleasure from simple stimuli that would not normally warrant any further considerations when not rolling. High fives, telling someone you care about that they are cool, hugs & kisses, holding hands, smelling a girlís hair, gentle massages and chewing gum all seem so luxurious. I think that when I'm doing E, the experience is so much more pleasurable, interesting and rewarding when I have someone of the opposite sex that I trust and feel comfortable with whom I can visit periodically for affection, massages and talking.
T+4:00, Iím starting to doubt my own intensity! Damn, I hate this part, because when I start to feel the faint possibility that I may be coming down just a bit, that I start to doubt the fact that stupid simple things bring me pleasure, then I know that the jig is up. At this point I must be right over the peak of the high and am quickly tumbling back down to the dreary and dull reality that is life. For me, the MDMA crash is the most horrible feeling. Iím sure it is not unlike when a child is ripped from his motherís warm & comforting womb at his birth.
T+4.05, My good friend Action comes to proposition me at this point to head over to the bathrooms and snort a line of MDMA. Wanting keep my buzz up a little longer I am easily coaxed into this.
T+4:10. Action and me are in the b-room stall. While he prepares the nose-candy, I miraculously manage to pee. So having not peed once during the night I am very happy. I snort the line and am happy to notice that it does not burn too much.
T+4:20, I am feeling extremely nauseous as the acrid chemical leaks down my throat. I have decided never to snort the shit again for it is too nauseating. I think Iím gonna puke eventually. Luckily my turkey supper is pretty far down the trap at this point. The insufflated MDMA has definitely not made my buzz better. I am no longer intense and have no desire to talk to peopleÖtotally introspective. I feel very stoned, similarly to an acid trip and am seeing some pretty intense tracers. Iím leaning my head on my friend ERís shoulder to comfort me in this nauseous state. The music is too loud & I wanna go home.
T+5:00, The rest of the people I am with decide itís time to leave. There is major confusion at the coat check area because I have lost my little ticket. I canít understand what the lady at the coatcheck is saying, too stoned. I finally get my coat back, at the cost of 5$ and am finally in the car on the way home
T+5:30 Visuals: I didnít see much talk in the other MDMA trip reports about OEVís. I have noticed that after re-dosing a few timed in the night, at the end of the buzz I start to get some major OEV action. But not the normal visuals like you get on shrooms, like patterns and auras. But crazy realistic hallucinations usually involving people that arenít really there. I dislike this kind of hallucination because they catch me off-guard. Iíll be staring at somebody and wondering why they are not moving, as I approach to check it out I realize the person turns out to be a tree or a garbage can.
I am now riding in Actionís car to go back to my place. I close my tired eyes for a second and reopen them and am shocked to see that my brother is driving the car instead of Action. I donít say anything for fear of appearing stupid, Iím pretty freaked out. So I rub my eyes and am surprised to see Action is back in the driverís seat.
T+5:35 Action stops the car and I find myself vomiting everything I had in my stomach. The puke has tracers! I had many more fucked up visuals, too many to describe. Action notes that Iím talking like a retard, Iím not able to finish my sentences because I forget what Iím trying to say in the middle of them. MDMA destroys my short-term memory temporarily for a few hours after a trip.
T+6:15 I get home finally, I feel like a zombie. I head to the bathroom and start to wretch violently once again. Luckily my mom doesnít hear me. Stomach acids and tooth grinding are a bad combo. The most unsettling thing happens after I flush the puke. The water sound coming from the toilet is actually loud techno music (the sound has no bass though), I could hear it very clearlyÖI pray for it to stop and it does. I still canít piss because my pee muscles are too tense, so I go to bed with a full bladder. Sleep.
The Aftermath: After having woken up a million time to go pee during the night (100% full bladders each time), I wake up at 3 pm. My jaw hurts like a bitch, I have full of little cuts in my mouth and I still feel pretty nauseous. My nose is irritated/clogged from the snorting. I try to eat some yogurt but almost gag. Iíll stick to coffee. Oddly enough Iím not in the ďI hate the world, everything sucks and I want to kill everybody with a sledgehammerĒ kindaí mood that I usually am after a night of hardcore rolling.
5-HTP Conclusion: I attribute my somewhat good mood to the 5-htp which I had loaded up on all week (NOTE: I took 100mgs of the stuff before going to bed). However, I did not notice any significant increase in intensity during the trip, which 5-HTP is rumored to do when loaded up on for a few days before an E trip. Iíve taken similar doses of MDMA on many occasions so I have a point of comparison.
I have concluded that loading on 5-htp doesnít do much, although Iíll repeat the experiment again to confirm my hypothesis. On the other hand, I noted that in the following week, I did not suffer any mild depression like I normally do after such a trip. I attribute this to the 5-htp. So for those who have small bouts of depression after rolling Iíd suggest taking some 5-htp for faster mental recovery.
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