Citation: Kaleida. "When Everything Is Just Right: An Experience with Methoxetamine (exp110680)". Erowid.org. Aug 24, 2017. erowid.org/exp/110680
This was my first experience with methoxetamine, after many years of searching for it. I had all but given up hope of finding it by this point, when unexpectedly I was fortunate enough to make a new friend, who would then be kind enough to offer me 250 mg of high quality methoxetamine that they have had sitting for years in an unopened bag. I of course gladly accepted this offer, and as of two days ago I had the drug safely in my possession. Not wanting to wait any time to see what this so widely loved molecule had in store for me, I cancelled the rest of my plans for the day and was dosing within about an hour and fifteen minutes, on 30 mg orally.
My previous experience with dissociatives includes ketamine, 2'-Oxo-PCE, memantine, DXM, and nitrous oxide. My most recent trip on a dissociative was around three weeks before this on the 25 mg of 2'-Oxo-PCE, and my most recent trip in general was five days before this on 10 mg on 5-MeO-EiPT.
Unlike most of my recent psychoactive experiences, not that I planned for it to be this way at the beginning, I didn't actually take any significant amount of notes about this experience. This was mostly a result of the fact that I spent the day enjoying hanging out with my roommate, as opposed to observing and considering the effects of the drug as I often do for the experiences I write these reports about. For this reason this report will probably feel a bit less intimate than my usual reports, but since it was a lower dose and the effects of methoxetamine are well-documented anyway, I think it will be okay; I'd mostly just like to share some of my preliminary thoughts on this experience. Also, since the only other arylcyclohexylamine I have used on its own and have significant experience with is 2'-Oxo-PCE, a more recently available dissociative of which methoxetamine is the 3-methoxy derivative, I thought it might make for an interesting point of comparison.
So, first of all, at T+0:00 I took 30 mg of methoxetamine orally. As usual for these chemicals, it tasted bad, but I got over it quickly. By this point I already knew that I would soon be joining my roommate while he ran an errand, and he went off to take a shower while I waited to come up. I had told him that I didn't want to go until after smoking some cannabis, which I would want to wait at least a half an hour after dosing to do.
At T+0:15 I distinctly felt the first effects of the drug kicking in.
At T+0:15 I distinctly felt the first effects of the drug kicking in.
It reminded me very much of 2'-Oxo-PCE overall, the general style of the sensations were almost exactly the same, but the ratio of the effects to one another was relatively different. 2'-Oxo-PCE feels extremely alcohol-like for me, it causes very heavy motor disruptions and intense visual distortions you have to close one eye to still not really be able to read through, at a dose that feels a bit overwhelming to take in but is otherwise fairly calm and sober-minded; methoxetamine, on the other hand, while causing similar but much less significant alcohol-like effects at this dose, produced far more euphoric stimulation than I got even from the highest dose of 2'-Oxo-PCE, and was causing me to run around the apartment, and talk and laugh a lot with my roommate when he returned. Overall it made the two kinds of trips feel as though they would have relatively different uses, but with it considered that they were still clearly basically the same kind of drug; notably, one thing I did instantly feel that they both had strongly and more so than any other dissociative I've taken was a significant similarity to the effects of nitrous oxide, which was particularly noticeable as either were first kicking in by the impact on my audio perception and sensations of light and spinning with eyes closed.
As the effects grew stronger I found my thoughts becoming harder to keep under control as they spun off in all directions, and after telling my roommate a long story with a lot of tangents and realizing how exhausted I felt at the end of it, I decided to take a moment to let it all sink in. The dissociative state was starting to feel very intense and hard-hitting, and I was wondering if I would really be able to handle going on this errand after all. I went to the bathroom to pee, and I have no idea how long I was actually in there, but I was to say it was at least a good five minutes for about two seconds worth of actually peeing; leading up to that I was just far too distracted to actually focus on getting it out. I announced this to my roommate as I returned to the living room, and after a few more minutes of remaining at about that same level of intensity without it getting much harder to handle I decided to hit the bong bowl that we had prepared, at T+0:35. We didn't actually end up taking off right away though, so I got to let the high set in a bit, and much like I had experienced with 2'-Oxo-PCE after smoking before having fully come up I found my body shaking a bit all over sort of like on a tryptamine. On one of my past experiences with 2'-Oxo-PCE I had found that these seemed to be mostly cold-related and would dissipate when I went out into the hot sun, so I hoped that this would also be the case with methoxetamine, and when we were actually ready to head out that luckily did turn out to be so, and I had no more physical discomfort from that point on.
Around T+1:00 when I was riding in the front passenger seat of my roommate's car, I noticed that there was suddenly a new kind of euphoria that I had not detected prior to that moment. It was, however, one I have felt many times before.... It was the exact sort of feeling I get when I suddenly feel that everything in my life, both in terms of what is generally going on with me and in my immediate surroundings, has come together exactly as I wanted it to. It is not the same as saying that everything is completely perfect, like some kind of fantasy heaven where you get everything you've ever dreamed of.... It is simply a very real feeling of satisfaction and completion, that everything you know you have to work with within your limits has succeeded to the best of what you're capable of doing, while at the same time knowing that you have no more fears or obstacles to worry about or overcome, that ultimately produces a level of peace that is seen as attainable but generally only fleeting within the realm of sober life experience.
I personally have the strongest memories of having experienced it in my youth when hanging out with friends, back when life was so simple and at the same time so new and exciting that that level of satisfaction could be quite readily obtained. In recent times it has become rarer, but when it does come it is often more meaningful than I now realize it used to be. As it occurred here on the methoxetamine I did not feel that it was truly meaningful at all, I was entirely aware of the fact that it was just drug-induced euphoria and not connected to actual events that were occurring around me or in my life, but despite that I was still very much able to enjoy the feeling while it lasted. Most notably, the intensity of it reminded me just how strongly I had often felt the same when I was younger, since like many feelings the truly extreme expressions of this state for me became rarer as I became more used to my emotions and my life got more complex with age and experience. This on the other had was a very powerful, raw state, and I was distinctly left with the impression that it was the sort of the sort of euphoria I could vividly remember experiencing for the rest of my life, though that's not necessarily to say that I actually will.
As this feeling was really sinking in, I was compelled to share with my roommate the way that I felt, and I did so by relating the stories I had of going to EDM clubs with old mutual friends who I had known before I had known him, stories that he was not a part of, in which I had felt that way while sober at times. After I finished that story was a bit more in the mood to continue talking again, so I spoke my mind for a good while as we drove towards the highway. Without knowing that he was doing so, my roommate actually ended up driving us down the exact route that I had taken with the friends I had spoken up before countless times, but had not driven down myself in years, at the exact points where I would have those sober feelings of euphoria and while I was still experiencing them now on the methoxetamine, and I could not help but notice the synchronicity of such factors lining up. This also became its own topic, as I then explained to my roommate some of my past experiences and what I have heard from others on dissociatives and experiences of synchronicity, both actual and entirely delusional, and went on to say how bizarre it was given that that this whole situation was occurring in the first place, with him playing a role unwittingly.
Other conversations we had followed similar themes, but as I did not recall to remember them after the fact I have lost them from memory now.... It wasn't really anything of great importance, just good high conversation as we got the day done. We ended up meeting up with someone briefly and my roommate talked to them while I mostly stared off into space, and once he finished doing what he needed to do we started heading back home.
By the time we were on the car ride back, I wasn't really feeling the specific feeling of euphoria I described before anymore. I was reminded somewhat of oxycodone, which I recently experienced orally and got an initial euphoric rush from followed mostly by a much longer-lasting state of peace, and this was about what I was going through with the methoxetamine as well. There was nothing overly intense feeling about the drug-induced state now, but I felt incredibly calm and contended, like there really wasn't much of anything that could truly bother me. This did strike me as significantly different from 2'-Oxo-PCE, which I definitely still would feel quite intoxicated on at this point in time after dosing, but on the other hand, I have yet to experience that specific type of euphoria on any dose of 2'-Oxo-PCE. Ultimately, this left me with a feeling at this point that methoxetamine is significantly moreish in comparison to 2'-Oxo-PCE, as I was actually left with a slight feeling of craving to dose higher at a point when I would still feel like my 2'-Oxo-PCE was really just getting rolling. Nonetheless, I had no true desire to dose higher with the supply that I had, and was happy to ride out the peaceful state I was in for as long as it would last.
We arrived back at the apartment and started smoking another bowl of cannabis about T+3:15. I do recall this bringing the effects out a bit again, and I definitely did feel dissociated for a good bit longer still after this, at least a few more hours, but I don't remember any other particularly interesting effects develop. I mostly just spent the rest of the evening hanging out with my roommate, watching Netflix, and having some food sent in from what I recall. I would say that that was essentially the end of the experience, but there was just one more interesting piece to talk about.... When I was going to bed, though it was at least something like ten hours after dosing, I decided to see if I could capture any of the hallucinogenic effect of the methoxetamine that I had not looked for before, figuring that the dose would be low enough that my time would be better spent doing something else. Given that it had been so long since dosing I didn't necessarily expect much, but in my experience in the past I have been able to get very powerful hallucinations while falling asleep after smoking cannabis even hours after coming down from dissociatives that are significantly different from just the typical hypnagogic imagery, and this seemed to be especially effective with 2'-Oxo-PCE so far, so I figured I'd give it a shot. As I got in bed and turned out the lights I took one or two more big hits of cannabis off a fresh bong bowl, then got myself into a meditative position and relaxed into the darkness.
I do not recall a lot of what I saw now, but there was certainly significant activity, much more impressive even than I've ever gotten from any other dissociative.... Highly realistic dreamscapes, beautiful specifically in their abstractness, flashed before me, the most memorable of which that I can recall being a road that started with just cars driving on it, but then sections of the road started growing up and forming huge perfectly cubed 3D distortions in the path, and multiplied so much that you could barely even see the regular environment anymore and they bulked out from each other in all directions, but the cars just kept driving up and around all their sides like it was no big deal. There were also some flashes of things that were quite psychedelic in their nature, but more so in a hedonistic way than in a sensory way, with 2'-Oxo-PCE being heavier on the latter for me, though both were present this time. Specifically, I occasionally saw a brief pinwheel-shaped pattern that reminded me of some very euphoric experiences I've had on certain types of more deliciously stimulating psychedelics like LSD, and along with things like the beginnings of imaginative visions that start to overlap my body that I experience in a relatively drug-type-nonspecific way with most things that give me a truly manic psychological feeling, and that tends to be brought out more by meditation for me on most things if it's there to begin with. I definitely remember there being more to this state as well, but unfortunately as I was tired, high, and fell asleep at the end of it, I really can't give much more detail about any of it.
In the end, though the effect was not too strong and in the future I will likely intend to push deeper, I would say that I very much enjoyed my first experience with methoxetamine. I can certainly understand what gives it so much potential in so many peoples' eyes, and I'm far more curious now than I even was before to see what it will turn out to be like for me in an even higher dose, both in terms of what its hallucinogenic and perceptually-distorting effects will be like, in addition to what that specific type of euphoria will be like when it is completely overloaded. I will also that I did notice it to have some nice painkilling effects during the experience for the basic kinds of pain problems I often deal with, and I have actually felt quite positive about life but also introspective like I would expect to feel after a good trip on a psychedelic or another dissociative with known antidepressant properties, so I would say it seems to have just hit me pretty nicely all around.
As for my comparison, ultimately I will say that 2'-Oxo-PCE does seem a bit more psychedelic in an psychological and somewhat emotional way and also in a pure sensory way, though sort of more opposite in that way since the sensory effects are dissociative in nature, just with that much focus on them and intensity with them, but methoxetamine I thought was still not lacking in this department, produced more interesting and vivid meditative closed eye hallucinations, and was more satisfyingly euphoric like a psychedelic in the way that it recalled strong rewarding experiences on a level that is more like what I was used to and like most people enjoy recapturing from my youth, only with methoxetamine it was focused more on the contentment I described before whereas serotonergic psychedelics tend to focus more on things like youthful levels of novelty seeking for me. In addition, to recap what I said before, methoxetamine was more stimulating but also shorter-lived and moreish for me, whereas 2'-Oxo-PCE is more sedating, but also long-lived and easier to enjoy a single experience with. Overall, my final opinion of them is that if I had to pick just one based on my experiences so far it would definitely be methoxetamine, but as with psychedelics these dissociatives are different enough from one another that such a comparison can truly only be so valid or meaningful anyway. One last note I will make on this subject, however, is that experiencing these two molecules and the differences between them has now left me with much more of a desire to try 3-MeO-PCE and 3-MeO-PCP than I had had in the past; I am very curious to see if they will retain any of the properties that I liked so much about methoxetamine that ultimately caused me to prefer it to 2'-Oxo-PCE, though I suspect that if they do they will also lose other qualities in the process, but that's perfectly okay.
So, I will call it a day for here. As always, stay safe, my friends!
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