The Inner Mind
DXM
Citation:   nervewing. "The Inner Mind: An Experience with DXM (exp110548)". Erowid.org. Aug 16, 2018. erowid.org/exp/110548

 
DOSE:
600 mg oral DXM (liquid)
BODY WEIGHT: 130 lb
T0:00-Begin drinking cough syrup. Try mixing it /chasing it with ginger ale. Its easiest to drink if I just chase it. Manage to slug down one bottle in about 5 minutes.

T0:25-Manage to drink the second bottle by now. Already feeling slightly dissociated. Nausea is coming on strong, this stuff is absolutely disgusting.

T0:40-I am being drowned in a big swirling ocean of syrup. The swells toss me about and mold my form like I am made of soft clay. I do not feel a progression through plateaus, rather I am just sinking deeper and deeper into the dex sea. It reaches a point where I can no longer see straight with both eyes open, I get the classic dissociative double vision. (I am on MXE while I write this oops). It follows with this sense of just being completely and totally lost in my own room, I do not know where I am, when I am, why I am, how I am, I am wiped clean and left confused.
completely and totally lost in my own room, I do not know where I am, when I am, why I am, how I am, I am wiped clean and left confused.
It feels like my stomach is boiling. I know I have to hold it down as long as possible to absorb as much as I can. I know vomiting is near inevitable.

T0:45-The yak comes. I throw up red syrup in a hideous cascade. Wow this feels terrible wow. I never liked vomiting, it is painful, it is uncomfortable, it makes my eyes water it makes it feel like my body is dismantling. But I get it out, I feel a bit disappointed that I wasn’t able to keep it down for longer, I will not get the full experience I desired I’m pretty sure.

T???-Per usual the next however many hours is a dissociative black out fog, timeless and punctuated by brief moments of relative clarity. What I can remember is open eyed visuals taking the form of warping and bulging of the space around me, it looked like the world had turned to syrup and was tilting in every direction slowly. I lost all sense of space, if I closed my eyes and opened them again I would feel completely lost, with no idea of what was up, down, left, right, forward, backwards, I felt like I was the objects around me, not an independent being. Walking was pretty much impossible.

If I closed my eyes, it would be an instant OBE. No calm and gradual fading of myself, I was immediately cast into the dizzying void. Each time my eyes closed, a similar journey would take place, with the same sequence. First I would see the room around me. It looked normal, with the colors being heavily saturated. Soon though, the dream space would collapse into the swirling abyss, come apart piece by piece and dissolve into nothing. I would be in a vast place I would call the dream nexus. It seemed like an impossible huge spherical void, which I was free to float in. The walls of this shell were covered with a grid of hundreds of thousands apertures. This is where things got a bit confusing.

If I were to float in an aperture, I would awake, in my bed again. I would get up and explore my house, and encounter people I knew, either people I lived with, friends, or sometimes strangers. We would interact, everything seemed very off though. We spoke in terse non-sequiturs. I don’t remember any of what was said but it was all surreal and emotionally empty. Everyone was emotionally empty and the color was drained of the world. This whole time I was actually still just lying in bed with my eyes closed. I could reset the cycle by opening and closing my eyes.

With eyes open, a similar effect took hold, as if my brain was trying its hardest to imbue this feeling in me no matter my state. Objects around me would morph into people, familiar people. They would just stand there, merely exist, looking like furniture.
Objects around me would morph into people, familiar people. They would just stand there, merely exist, looking like furniture.
They kept appearing around me, hanging around me, I didn’t feel alone in my room at all, and In retrospect I ended up having to ask my roommates if I really interacted with any of them during that timespan (I didn’t).

T5:00-I wake up. I don’t know if I fell asleep or if the past 3 hours have been a total blackout. I am down enough to have functional motor skills, and it seems like my memory has touched down and is recording again.
T5:00-I wake up. I don’t know if I fell asleep or if the past 3 hours have been a total blackout. I am down enough to have functional motor skills, and it seems like my memory has touched down and is recording again.
I still feel VERY dissociated and spacey, I still have the “dex walk” and still feel like everything is in motion. I have a sense of direction again, and the visual effects have died down other than vision being super blurry. I hang out with my roommates and go scavenging for junk with them the rest of the night.

T9:00-I go to bed, still feeling spacey. I wake up the next morning still feeling like I am on a low dose of dex. Still feel the dex walk, but its not apparent and I look normal enough. The world feels dreamlike and unreal, it seems like everything is just fading into the background of existence. I have an appointment with my therapist and he’s a bit irked that I’m altered while there. I still have vivid CEV’s, and if I close my eyes long enough I can really sink into them and almost sort of lucid dream. They are no longer replicated from the world around me, but rather are randomly generated. They take the form of tunnels and moving geometric objects.

Exp Year: 2015ExpID: 110548
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: Aug 16, 2018Views: 19,758
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DXM (22), OBE (332) : General (1), Entities / Beings (37), Hangover / Days After (46), Alone (16)

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