Citation: RecoveryGuru. "Mother's Little Helper: An Experience with Valium & Various (exp11052)". Erowid.org. Mar 3, 2007. erowid.org/exp/11052
The first time I used ValiumÖ
The first time I had heard of this drug was when I deciphered the Rolling Stones song called ďMothers little helperĒ.
Although sheís not really ill, thereís a little yellow pill
She goes running for the shelter of her motherís little helper
And if you take more of those, you will get an overdose
No more running to the shelter of the motherís little helper
Iíll tell my story and try to keep it short. I had a friend named Brian. His father had a bad back. This is why he always had a prescription bottle of Valium 10mg laying around the house. Those were the strong ones by the way. They were pretty bright blue pills with a big V stamped in the middle of them. The 5mg pills were yellow, just as mentioned in the Rolling Stones song.
I nick named Brian the clipper as he had great skills in thievery and conning. I convinced him, in under 5 minutes to clip some Vís from his daddy for our outing that night. It would be good fun at the rock and roll bar to drink beer and listen to a band high on Valium. Brian wasnít keen about the caper because he was terrified of his dad.
It wasnít uncommon for his dad to sock him in the head for just not acting right. Well, even though he feared his father, he also wanted to fit in with us and be accepted. Especially since he was 2 years younger then the rest of our group. Brian reacted just as I had expected and got the pills. He was always weak when it came to peer pressure.
Brian liberated 6 pills from his dadís bottle and picked me up in his old Camaro for the bar. It was a Friday night and we were all in good spirits. Another buddy of ours in the same neighborhood wanted to go as well. He was just as excited about the Valium as I was. So Brian, Paul, and myself made our way to the Blue Collar city of Roseville for a night on the town.
After getting set up at a good table we ordered a pitcher of beer. Since I didnít like the taste of beer, I looked forward to getting my buzz primarily from a pill, rather than having to dedicate a half hour or more to drinking nasty booze. Brian mentioned that his dadís prescription bottle said to take one pill 3 times per day. So I popped 3 of the baby blue 10mg pills and called it a day. Then my buddies took the remaining amount and we waited for the results.
About 20 minutes later I felt myself begin to change. I felt slightly dizzy and super relaxed. Everything about me felt light and peaceful. All the tension in my back was gone. It was like all the worries of the world were lifted from me. It was similar to an alcohol buzz but more complete. It also effected my coordination. I had to concentrate to get in and out of my chair. My speech began to get a bit slurry and goofy. The effect was not dramatic nor was it bad. Valium is best described as a premium alcohol buzz without the bad hangover. The next day after using Valium, you are still feeling the effects. This stuff stays in your system a longtime.
Later on with Valium-
At first I used Valium for fun; by themselves or in combination with alcohol. As time went on I began to use Vís to counteract the effects of my cocaine shooting or crack smoking. I couldnít stand the uncomfortable fiending and paranoia from the end of a cocaine run. I had to have a soft way to come down and avoid the horrible crash. Valium was my savoir. By using the good old Benzo-diazepam I could also prevent myself from spending every last dime I had on coke. It also helped me to finally go to sleep.
But it wasnít quite that simple. Many times I ended up taking too many pills and this made me look and feel half-dead. I slurred when I spoke and could not be understood. I had a hard time walking. My face was weird and expressionless. I felt like a tranquilized elephant with a heart arrhythmia.
I make this point. As far as taking a reasonable amount is concerned; when crazy high and fiending for coke, that is not a good time to determine how many valiums you should take! I often found myself deciding that the right amount of Valium, was the entire amount I had in my possession at the time. This dosing system is real risky.
By taking the Vís in big quantity I was lowering my respiration and heart rate. It also helped to remove my paranoia. Then I began to feel more comfortable and less concerned. With this renewed confidence I would begin to make dumb decisions. Even though I should have stopped for the night, I would decide to shoot more coke. Of course I enjoyed the cocaine more when I felt I wasnít about to have a heart attack!
Going back and forth like this with Valium and coke made it hard to keep track of how much of each drug I had taken. This insanity would account for a few very unpleasant trips to the hospital. Now that I think about it, I donít believe that treating your heart and mind like a rubber band, yanking it up and down, is a good idea.
In the mornings after my usage I could still feel the effects of the Vís. I had no energy and was completely useless. I thought the pills were supposed to remove depression. Instead I was getting the blues along with being bummed out even more often. Over and over I would repeat this cycle. It would take days for me to feel right.
Much further along in my drug usage history I no longer messed with coke. At this point I used the Valiums to increase my highs from methadone and heroin. Getting a tolerance to the opiate drugs means having to add something new to the mix to get a good buzz. Getting Vís also became more difficult. I hated going to different doctors and making up stories to get Valium. It made me feel like such a bitch.
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