Citation: Anonymous. "Playing a Game With My Soul: An Experience with Cannabis Tincture (exp110154)". Erowid.org. Apr 12, 2017. erowid.org/exp/110154
This was almost six years ago.
I was at a party at the end of summer with my boyfriend (now fiancé). We were having a pretty good time. I was not drinking that night because I didn’t really like the way beer or alcohol tasted, and I had not smoked weed in three months because I was taking a tolerance break.
Before my tolerance break, I had regularly smoked weed since the age of fourteen. I was familiar with bud and a couple different edibles, but I had never heard of tincture before that night. A friend said it helps aid in curing upset stomachs and that it can also get them really high.
The tincture was homemade with Everclear and in my friend's words, a shit ton of weed. I was interested in trying it so I asked if I could buy some and they agreed.
I remember them asking a friend of theirs (the person who made it) how much to give me, and they said only half a shot because it was extremely potent. When my friend finished pouring the green liquid, I downed it in one swallow. It tasted like weed and I couldn’t taste the alcohol at all.
I thanked my friend and decided to go out on the front porch with my boyfriend because it was really hot inside. Some of my friends were outside smoking cigarettes. I didn’t smoke (and still don’t), but I enjoyed their company much more than that of the people that I was unfamiliar with inside.
We were all talking, laughing, and having a good time. I don’t remember how much time had passed, but the smell of the cigarettes was starting to get gross and I started feeling light-headed. My boyfriend had gone inside to go to the bathroom, so I was left outside with my friends. I was up against the wall of the house and I could feel myself sliding until I was no longer standing and I think it was at this point that my eyes shut and I blacked out.
The black-out phase did not last long, and I started seeing things in black and red. Everything was black, and I was seeing humanoid entities that were red standing together talking about my actions as if they were judging me. I cannot remember what they were saying about me, but I could tell that most of the entities were negative.
There was one entity in particular, that was really pessimistic about what I was doing right then, and it was changing the opinion of some of the entities that were on my side. What I mean by ‘on my side’ is that it seemed they were observing me and deciding whether or not I was a good enough person to stay alive. It was like they were playing a game with my soul and that is what really troubles me. Some of the entities disappeared, and I had no control over their decisions to stay or leave. Only a few of them stayed as silent observers after that. I thought I was going to die and I remember thinking that I wasn’t ready to leave yet and that I hadn’t experienced enough in life to leave.
The first memory I have of coming back to reality is my friend's face and them shaking my shoulder. Their face was distorted, still in that red and black crazy twisted reality. They were smiling and asked how I liked the tincture, and everything started coming back into full color.
I didn’t respond to their question, and the first question that popped out of my mouth was, “who am I?” then, “where am I?” and then sudden realization flooded me all at once. I realized who I was, where I was, and all I said was, “oh,” and held my fingers to my forehead, realizing what had happened.
My friend asked me if I was all right and I said yes. I looked around and asked where my boyfriend was because he was still not back from the bathroom (the line to the bathroom took forever to get through). As soon as I said that though, he came outside and was instantly concerned. My friend let him take over from there, and he helped me stand up. I was extremely shaky and he helped me walk to his car so I could relax for a bit.
I’m not sure how much time had passed but I started to feel better. I didn’t feel sick or woozy anymore, and I felt completely sober. My boyfriend asked if I felt good enough to go back to the party and I did, so we went back inside to my friend’s room. They asked me if I was okay and everyone else there was really concerned. I told them I was fine, but I did not partake in any smoking or drinking after that.
We left the party after my boyfriend had sobered up (he stopped drinking after what happened) and we went back to his place for the rest of the night. I felt fine the next day when I woke up and I felt completely normal, but I never took tincture again after that, and I don’t plan to either.
I still get worried thinking about what I saw, and I have to wonder if it was real or if it was just all in my head. I have never met anyone else that has had a similar experience. I have read some personal experiences from people online as well but I haven't found anything yet that is relatable.
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