Citation: 5_neo_dmt. "I Received the Message: An Experience with 5-MeO-DMT (exp109739)". Erowid.org. Oct 31, 2017. erowid.org/exp/109739
The dose described in this report is very high, beyond Erowid's 'heavy' range, and could pose serious health risks or result in unwanted, extreme effects. Sometimes extremely high doses reported are errors rather than actual doses used.]
||(powder / crystals)
So before I even begin to attempt this, allow me to make a few disclaimers. One, I didn't want to write this. The idea of trying to put into words the experiences I've had with this substance is so absurd that you could only understand how absurd it is if you've been there. I know that's cliché, and a lot of what I'm going to say will be, and hard to believe also. I'm opening myself to criticism here, and it is absolutely true and I don't need to embellish, I couldn't have made this up. Two, the doses of which I'll be reporting on ive since come to find out are far too much, possibly unsafe, and I do not recommend anyone trying it. However, that reason alone is why I am writing about them. And 3, when I took this medicine, I respected it, I set clear intentions, and meditated before taking it. That is important and WILL influence the experience I have. Now let's begin the fun part.
I was in Mexico at a little gated community where some shamanic medicine men practice that I met through what I thought at the time was mere luck. They told me about this modern-ancient medicine from the Sonoran desert toads and that I could meet god. I was skeptical. I wasn't an atheist, but was definitely agnostic. However, as so, the idea of meeting this big guy in the sky peeked my interest; so I agreed to give it a go. We were in a beachfront mansion and they left me on the upper floor while the shaman went to prepare the space and the medicine. Some time later she emerged requesting me to follow. I obliged and entered what would become a sacred space. She instructed me to set clear intentions and meditate before we began. As she wafted sage around me and the space we occupied for the moment, I spoke to the medicine. 'I will respect you and allow you to do with me what needs to be done. I need to reconnect with the Grand Creator and my creativity,' and then I meditated.
I was nervous, but I'd never ever heard of this type of DMT before and didn't really anticipate or believe what was about to happen was even possible. 'Ok' she said, and I opened my eyes to see the pipe was ready to go and about 5 inches from my face. There was no turning back now, and the next motions I made almost felt robotic like I wasn't even choosing to do it. I was scared but somehow something was moving me to the pipe. She lit a torch and held it to the pipe, I could hear a crackle and she put it to my lips. 'Breathe slowly' she said,'like sucking through a straw.' I thought I'd gotten it all and then, 'get the last little bit.' So I did. I sucked one last time with all I had, filling my lungs as far as I could. I held it as she counted to ten, by this point (10 sec in) she had to remind me to exhale. When I did I saw fractals in the smoke and a golden yellow haze began to fill my vision from the outsides in (this happens every time I've vaporized 40mg), I laid back with my head on the pillow, and. Instant. Blast off.
What the shaman watched was me lie motionless with my eyes closed and a smile from ear to ear for 20min. What I saw was a tunnel of light and color that whirled around me as I blasted into the great void. Within moments the veil was lifted and i had popped into the anti-gravital void and was staring at a light brighter than bright. It was white if I had to put it in terms people will understand, but there were other colors involved, and they were in motion. It was sort of like looking at oil on pavement, there's a color, but it's more than 1. It's tough to describe. There are colors most people haven't seen, and until you do that seems impossible, I know.
By this point and shred of who I was had dissolved. I didn't have a name, a body, a mind, nothing. And to my knowledge, I never had. It was freeing. But I felt a desire to enter this light. Before I could, something had to destroy what was left of me, I had to die. I accepted that, and something struck me, as if I were a window pane and a bolt of electricity flicked me and I shattered into a trillion of the most intricate fractals I've seen. And then I entered it. It was love foremost. But also forgiveness, compassion, joy, youthful but also ancient. It was comforting and familiar. It was ecstasy, nirvana. In this place there was no separation. It was complete unity with everything and had always been that way. This was god. And I received the message, not through language or telepathy, but just inherently received the message that this was god and this is where souls come from and return to. I also had a vision of Africa. I believe there were other visions, but I can't recall them now. I never wanted to leave. And then before I knew it. Bam! I was back in the prison of my body.
But now I had the message. This world we live in is false. A construct of our own creation. And I had learned god is in us and we are in god, all the time. I am you and you are me and we always have been. We are the stardust and water. The mountains and the beaches. And what we see in front of our eyes is no more real than the dreams we have at night. I'm no longer afraid to die. Death is the beginning of the real adventure.
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