Citation: Paradox. "The One Trip: An Experience with 1P-LSD (exp109693)". Erowid.org. Dec 24, 2016. erowid.org/exp/109693
||(blotter / tab)
I’ve never written a trip report quite like this one before. The experience itself requires an insight into previous experiences, which I will try to give briefly in order to save space but this is inherently a long read.
Timing: 23:00 until 14:00 the next day (15h total)
Dosage: Oral 1.5 blotters
Storage: Sealed bag, 100ug dosed blotters
History of drug use: Marijuana (hash/bud, bong/spliff) x lots, Cocaine (poor quality) x3, MDMA (crystal) x1, 1P-LSD x5 150ug-500ug (same blotters for consistency of experience)
Precursor Trips of Importance
~130ug - First Experience (1P-LSD)
I won’t delve too much into this but it was as ‘most’ would describe a standard initial experience. The company I was in were relatively experienced with the drug (to the extent that they were willing to say, this will become more apparent later on in the most recent experience), 2 individuals, male and female, in a relationship.
Colour: Colours were more vivid and interesting, I found myself perceiving colours in terms of something different than before, but at this point I could not put my finger on what it was.
Sounds: Music and sounds were crystal clear, very interesting and engaging. In general music sounded amazing
Tactile: My body felt loaded, as if I had an excess of adrenaline built up with in me. Tactile sensations could be altered by looking at or sensing different things.
Emotional Awareness: Awareness of emotion as a new sensation that could be shared between humans, visually, spiritually it seemed, and within the body.
Outdoors: Lights seemed to bounce off the plants differently, the tree in the back garden was almost breathing.
I might add that the company I was in for this trip seemed to know a lot about the drug and it’s effects. I was left to work out a lot of this myself in the coming trips. I rode the trip out and ended listening to a variety of music before I finally was allowed to drift to sleep (sleep is impossible on this drug, as is eating)
250ug - Accidental Emotions (MDMA combos)
Main Theme: Emotional Awareness
Again I won’t go too deeply into this but lets say this trip was more of the same, visuals, headspace etc but with a twist. The difference here is that the company I was in decided to candy flip (MDMA + 1P-LSD) at the same time as I was tripping. They were also made aware of how much I’d taken (and seemed annoyed by that). I’m not aware of the 3rd party’s dosages. I was quite focused on my own experience.
We messed around for a few hours with general effects and I was being introduced to more and more of the perception-based effects. Moving board game pieces around tended to slow time the slower I moved the pieces. Backgammon board art could be made into shark’s teeth and scary images.
Me being unaware of the drug’s effects (mostly MDMA, having never done it before) and not having had it explained to me thoroughly led to an unfortunate scenario for the 3rd parties.
Being female and close in terms of relationship anyway led to unwanted emotions occuring, we both knew that the feelings were not appropriate. This led to the 3rd party having what she called a ‘bad trip’. I’m completely aware of what was going on in that scenario in terms of drugs *now* but I think that the 3rd parties underestimated how I would feel the energy of what was going on in other rooms while not in those rooms.
This is leading on from the intense increase in emotional awareness brought on by 1P-LSD. Basically in short, I was aware that they (or at least one of them, I think the male was just on 1P-LSD) were candy flipping and fucking without even being in the room or understanding what MDMA did from first hand experience.
(Couple of solo trips between this, experimenting more with effects, trips on IRC with others)
300ug - Bad Trip
Main Theme: The Fabric of the Universe
This is where I’ll say I got a bit complacent. I thought I understood more than I actually did and this was my opportunity to share this wonderful substance I had found. I’d experienced afterglows, videos that reeked of LSD, patterns in life and some pretty life changing realisations and surely other people deserved to experience this too, right?
This was the second trip I had with this friend (early 20s, male, normal build) and in addition to him, I decided to add an unknown person who I had never met (mid 20s, male, overweight) (since he asked to come and I felt very confident on 1P-LSD) and at the last minute, our set and setting changed to include my own mother. Now I have never read reports of people tripping with family before but I can say myself it’s not for the feint of heart.
Dosages: Me - 300ug, Friend - 150ug, Unknown (I don’t even remember his name now) 100ug and he took his tab 1.5 hours after the rest of us as he was unsure.
One of the big paradoxes when I'm on 1P-LSD is the paradox of life and where I come from, tripping with the person that brought my consciousness into this world digs up quite a lot things I might want to leave covered up. Some people aren’t ready for this. It appears I was not either.
The result of the trip was initially amazing, lots of body rushing, visuals and headspace. We listened to a lot of music.
Now I was there to analyse the trip and everything that was going on. I rarely trip purely for the fun of tripping, I’m usually on board to get something out of it. My mum on the other hand was very ‘in the moment’. Every time I’d go to show people something awesome that the drug could do (time dilation, emotional perception, a video that seemed to have a lot of LSD style instruction in it), she would shy away from it and reduce it to ‘just a drug’, it was pretty frustrating.
Eventually I give up and lay back listening to Pink Floyd’s ‘Time’. I fell into what most people would describe as a ‘bad trip’ based off of an emotional indicator I got from the unknown party that he liked our dog sexually and also liked my mum that way too (you can see how this turned negative). There were no ‘real’ things after the initiation in this bad trip to ‘scare’ me. It was the very fabric of the universe itself that frightened me. It’s hard to explain how this works without having seen it but I felt like I’d been ‘caught’ cheating with 1P-LSD in life, as ‘recompense’ I lived what felt like 1000’s of lifetimes in the period of around 1 hour that were pure agony, pain and suffering on a scale that is not perceivable in this dimension. Like being at the centre of a black hole where ever nanosecond I'm pulled off in one direction to experience a lifetime, then snapped back and pulled the other way to experience a different one.
I woke up halfway through the hour to a darkened room and I was covered in water (my mum had been feeding me water and turned all the lights off to reduce stimuli). I went to utter a sentence ‘It’s all noth---’ and then fell straight back into another 1000 lifetimes of the same thing.
I can’t tell you what brought me back out but all I know is that suddenly I was fine again, my friend and the unknown guy came back in and we were all happy. What followed was total euphoria for the rest of the trip. I apologised because apparently I was completely insane for the hour or so I lost myself. At the end of the trip my mum added alcohol to the mix and I really disliked that as in my opinion showed a disrespect for the mindset 1P-LSD can put one in. She does abuse alcohol in my opinion.
Interim - Mental State: Major Depressive Disorder (diagnosed)
First time MDMA 180mg Bombed Orally
This was an impulse decision to buy and take due to my mental state at the time. I can’t be sure that the substance was perfect but it looked pretty good and it gave the exact experience that is mostly described for MDMA.
I’ll be brief here because the precursors are almost trip reports in themselves. I did this trip solo and I was on an IRC channel at the same time. Out of nowhere this guy private messages me and seems to just know how to guide me through the most beautiful experience that I’ve ever had in my life. All the understanding from the 1P-LSD experiences seemed to just, culminate into a fireworks display of stunning cognition. The music we both listened to seemed to just connect the dots and the MDMA took my mind off the understanding and allowed me to believe it was all part of a big overarching plan and it’ll be alright in the end.
Before this experience I was unable to truly understand girls, friendships, why people behave how they do. After this trip I was awake. I saw all (or I thought I did).
I had no comedown off this MDMA experience, I had 1 bout of anxiety and weed got really strong afterwards too. I cured my anxiety with self hypnotherapy and meditation. After this experience I was sure that there was more to the world than I had seen on my other 1P-LSD experiences.
I truly understood what the word ‘empathogen’ meant.
Safe to say, it completely ‘cured’ or reversed the thinking that caused my spate of depression that had been building for years - one of the reasons I took 1P-LSD to start with was to find more than what I could see, because what I could see wasn’t great.
The ‘One’ Trip (Detailed)
Mindset + Prep
Although only being 150ug (I say ‘only’ but I feel the dose doesn’t matter any more), this trip was the most intense I have ever experienced in terms of pure understanding.
I never ‘came down’ from this trip. The visual distortions went away, the body load, mindfuck and jelly fingers subsided but what I saw still hasn’t left me - as if it’s burned into my conscious mind now.
To begin with I left the tabs on my desk for an hour or so, 150ug ready to go at 22:00. I had 2 days free afterwards so I figured ‘’Why the hell not?’’. The only hangup I had was that after the MDMA my mindset was incredible. I was organised, focused, happy, intelligent, creative and emotionally aware, I figure that I also had some repressed childhood memories (relatively ‘rough’ upbringing) and the MDMA helped with those too. Bottom line, I ate 150ug at 23:00 anyway. Not a huge amount of prep but I had time free and I’m a curious cat. I also wanted to line up tolerance and neurotoxicity for a first time candy flip later down the line.
The tab seemed to dissolve under my tongue much more easily now than before, I kept it there for 5 minutes or so, then swallowed. I could feel the tingling and body load as quick as 20-30 mins after dosing but I’m beginning to feel that it was just adrenaline since this was the first 1P-LSD trip since my bad trip.
I figured, whatever was in the bad trip, I could face those demons here and finally rid myself of my primitive desires so I could see what really drives us. At this point I had been researching a lot of stuff regarding LSD, collecting papers, reading history, reading psychonaut wiki and more. Things seemed to be linking up in reality, not just during the trips.
For the first portion of the trip I hung out on my dose for a while with some people on the IRC channel that I was in. The chats were good, I listened to some music and as the familiar effects begun to set in I was definitely having a good time just relaxing with good company.
Approximately 2 and a half hours in, I was pretty much peaking and set myself up to go outside. I’d been practicing meditation and observation of my own consciousness while I was sober and I wanted to practice meditation while under the effects of a chemical that connects up all the bits of my brain that normally are not. This might scare normal people but for me the endless search for ‘why’ is what gives me purpose in this life.
Peaking + Journey to Park
Visually, things were moving around, pattern movement in the carpet, tracers on my hands, moments of time dilation where songs would pause on the screen but were not really paused in my headphones. I had mild synesthesia, I could see the sounds as distortions in the fractals on my computer screen (or I thought I could, I’m not sure at this point).
I packed a small rucksack with a snowboard jacket, my headphones, keys. I put on some warm clothes and headed outside. It was around 03:00 by the time I got to the local park, I could feel the energy of the park before I even stepped inside, the life within was strong compared to the concrete outside.
As I stepped inside the park, it was beautiful. Bright street lamps in the old style with glass boxes on top, grass waving gently in the breeze and a sense of energy coming from the trees. I picked out a large looking pine tree and lay my jacket at it’s base.
Meditation Under 3 Trees
As I lay back against the trunk of the tree, I felt energy, not strong, but subtle flowing through both me and the tree itself. I laid my head against the tree’s trunk, allowed my eyes to close slightly and drifted into my own mind. I had a few techniques in my toolbox from meditation and hypnotherapy before:
A safe, shielded space with ecstasy locked inside in the form of a feeling I had when snowboarding, accessible through touching my thumb and forefinger
The ability to look inwardly using thought itself
The ability to look outwardly using stimuli in ‘reality’
The ability to analyse cognition as a 3rd party process, to analyse my own thought processes
I explored many of these places and never really found a use for my safe space. In the branches above me, dead bodies rotting and fetid would appear before me, winds would intensify, other trees would literally wave at me, branches creaking. We communicated about things. To me it made a lot of sense. Trees that size are quite old and would naturally have more conscious awareness of things to share when compared to say, a blade of grass. I wasn’t communicating in the normal sense of things, I was imagining concepts in my mind and then allowing responses from the tree in terms of signs or energy.
I feel that I went through a lot of different ideas and thoughts such as deforestation, global warming, war and more. It was as if I was trying to prove to the rest of ‘life’ that humans had their place in the world and that we still needed to prove we were worth keeping around. I tried to show the tree our unbounded love and human resourcefulness/resilience in the face of adversity. How we use the negative emotions to drive incredible positive ones.
When I reached the end of our cognition, I felt a huge swathe of energy rise up inside me, as if the tree was gifting me with energy in return for my understanding.
I spotted another tree, one that had been waving at me earlier. It was white in colour (silver birch maybe) and it had also been showing me dead bodies in it’s canopy and the essence of insanity. Again curiosity got me and I went to meditate under that one next.
What came next seemed to be a contest of ‘who was the most nuts’ and it’s safe to say that either it was a mirror for my own emotion, or I won that encounter. The tree would show me something that it deemed frightening and then I showed it the potential wrath of the human race, turning the fallen leaves into human skulls and the grass into hellfire. The exchange eventually seemed pointless and the battle of ‘who was the scariest’ didn’t seem to get either of us anywhere. We acknowledged each other’s perspective and the same energy flowed through me.
Worth noting that while meditating under this tree, a group of drunk people walked by and pissed up against the tree I had previously been meditating under. This infuriated me for some reason, but the pine creaked as if to say it was okay - it’s just the way the universe works.
This was the biggest tree in the park I could find, it was pretty central and I think it was an Oak or something similar. I can’t remember the shape of the leaves I was tripping pretty hard at this point. I should go back and check again as it’s not that far away.
Regardless, this tree was where I realised everything. This tree was where I relived my bad trip from a different perspective.
I gently skirted around the area of the bad trip, it seemed that the tree was communicating to me about love, life and most of all, polarity. When I was in the darkness, I felt like there was black and white, light and dark going on around me and I was being ripped around inside. Now what I saw was something much more refined, much more stable.
It was at that point that everything made sense. Life is only what our one consciousness makes it. If everything were the same all the time, we’d get bored so we constantly refabricate the world around us to circumvent that boredom yet the paradox is not knowing how much control we have and being driven by million year old evolutionary instincts. I saw a huge network of trees of consciousness that I perceived as ‘light-trees’. All interconnected, our ‘human’ tree was completely dwarfed by some other aspects of consciousness.
After I saw the singularity of the universe (from my perspective) I received a final rush of energy from the large ‘oak’. I needed a piss myself and asked the trees permission to go in the corner (don’t ask me what the fuck).
I headed home at around 06:00 where I listened to music for the final section of the trip and discussed thoughts with others on IRC (where highly logical people now seemed very illogical). We discussed concepts such as infinity where I seemed to be able to make perfect sense of mathematic equations that I’d only ever glimpsed before when I was skimming through maths and physics posts (the concept of hiding infinity within another function, or why quantum computing and fusion combined would give rise to true AI or new consciousness).
This is where it all stuck. I listened to an album that I had listened to MANY times before called ‘One’. Every single lyric expressed what I had just experienced in a way that was not just pure coincidence. All the things I read after the trip while sober (8A and 8B geometry in the brain, LSD papers, the use of MDMA in the treatment of PTSD, other people’s experiences) seemed to ring true with the vision of polarity controlling the entire infinite multiverse. Yin and Yang at it’s core.
The visuals and body sensations subsided but the mindset NEVER returned. I’ve basically been ‘high’ ever since.
I’m fully functional, I don’t really have a desire to do anything hugely different but I have this sense of purpose now that I never had before. A drive that I was missing.
Remember that these are all personal visions and I only report them for the sake of reporting them and increasing our collective understanding of psychedelic drugs.
Personal Conclusions - Opinions Only
In order to transcend this human consciousness, we must transcend everything that brought us to this point in the first place.
To me, we can only perceive light because darkness exists, the void cannot exist without the matter inside it, sanity cannot exist without insanity. Without the opposites, these concepts would mean nothing. It dawned on me that there was no such place as ‘heaven’ or ‘hell’ other than what the mind creates, that any religious ideology or scientific dogma was something created by a collective consciousness in order to make sense of that part of a personality.
The consciousness itself is fractured because it is necessary to do so, ‘heaven’ is here on Earth, it’s what we make of it. The alternative is to transcend this ‘reality’ and return to pure polarity. To me now, mindset is something I create myself on a second by second basis. Time is relative as I have infinite time to cycle universes, lifetimes and dimensions.
When you see consciousness and life as something that is created around you as you walk, you view the world differently. When you see other people as fragmented parts of your own consciousness, you can no longer ‘hate’ anyone. Mistakes that others make are your own. You just chuckle and think ‘that’s far out dude’.
If we were able to simultaneously experience every single perceivable thing at once then we would get bored very quickly, hence the requirement to experience life from different points of view. These points may not even be on ‘Earth’ as a human. I guess what I’m saying is that pure consciousness as a concept is flawed because it has no meaning - life is the solution. Life itself, is the meaning.
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