The Most Powerful Trip of My Life.
Citation: Birdboy. "The Most Powerful Trip of My Life.: An Experience with Hawaiian Baby woodrose HBWR (exp109242)". Erowid.org. May 21, 2018. erowid.org/exp/109242
The dose described in this report is very high, potentially beyond Erowid's 'heavy' range, and could pose serious health risks or result in unwanted, extreme effects. Sometimes extremely high doses reported are errors rather than actual doses used.]
About 2 weeks ago I ingested 20 hawaiian baby woodrose seeds. A little backround on my substance use is 4 LSD trips, 1 of those a pretty high dose. 1 morning glory trip, my first psychedelic experience :). 2 San Pedro trips, in which one of those I fell asleep during and another was a micro dose because I took it a few days later. 1 experience with 4-ACO-DMT which is and extrodenary drug, unfortunaly I didn't have a good setting until the end of it. And 1 2c-X trip, not sure what it was but it was a fun trip. Also countless times with weed, which I can't smoke now because of probation. And a few pills which I don't touch at all anymore. Some spice too by accident but fuck that stuff. Now I don't really know the timing of the effects but ill try to explain it in order.
So I chewed up 20 seeds, not really caring about the coating and around 30 min later I was begining to feel really sedative, I watched Dark Side of the rainbow, Wizard of Oz with Dark side of the moon in the backround, while coming up, while I also talked to some really close friends from back home. I just moved so I miss them alot but they helped comfort me. By this time I was already naked so I knew it was going to be a good trip. Also this is my first time tripping alone, so I was a little anxious but not until later in the trip.
Soon enough I was getting slight visuals but nothing really intense, I started walking around my apartment a little until I realized that I was begining to get into a thought loop, which last time that happened on 4 tabs of acid it made it a little scary so I retreated to my room. I listened to some classic rock like the beatles and Grateful Dead for awhile but then I got a sense something was behind me... Nothing was there visually but 'it' was there.
This was when I was peaking and I got scared. In this experience I was looking for ego death, not knowing what to expect. A ignored it for a while but soon enough it was time. I was thinking alot about my life and how I got to this moment, thats when I realized it was time. This is when I puked... Alot... And I just couldn't let go and my friends wern't answering the phone so I was terified at this point. I turned on the Ego Death video by Psyched Substance which helped me let go. I was lying in my bed and I looked up at my light, and someone asked, 'are you ready now?' We had a little converstation pretty much I was saying I was scared, but this is what I wanted and 'It' said it was okay to be scared but when your ready close your eyes and I will take you.
So I turned on a playlist a perpared, turned off the lights, got in my bed, and let go. I remember feeling very sensitve to touch but then I felt nothing, I became everything. My visuals were these strings that were constantly morphing into these 5th dimensional shapes and it felt like my body were the visuals. I'm not sure how long I was in there but I opened my eyes and called one of my best friends dylan and we talked for a little bit. I told him a loved him and all my friends and that I felt like they were my family, like we all have a deep spirtual connection that I have never felt about anyone. I cried a bit saying, I always thought there was something there but I was skeptical. I finally felt the warmth of 'god' or whatever you want to call it I reailzed there is something in the universe connecting us all and it loves us. I realized Love is the most powerful feeling because it surpresses all others and goes past space and time. Across the Universe by the beatles makes so much more fucking sense.
Anyways I was coming down and I looked in the mirror and my head looked really funny. I talked to my self a bit more, or god or whatever. When I say I was talking to someone its not like a heard voices it was like a feeling of communication, probably from my sub-conciouss mine. I realized Death was behind me like litteraly the feeling, and now that a knew kinda what happened we became one and I no longer feared it, No longer will I constantly live my life fearing the unknown but excepting it with open arms.
Alot of more things happened but nothing a could describe in words.
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