Citation: syntax420. "Gross Horny Bastard: An Experience with GHB (exp109239)". Erowid.org. Oct 3, 2016. erowid.org/exp/109239
It makes me nauseous thinking of what I am about to recount. I must do it, not only for my own sanity and healing, but for the sake of all ye who may tangle with the GHBeast. What you are about to read is all true, and not for the faint of heart.
I have extensive experience with just about every well known drug, and quite a few of the more obscure ones as well. I don't feel the need to list them all here. If you've heard of someone getting high on it, I've probably done it more than once, and at an extreme dose. That's just how I am I suppose. I try to find the middle road, but it is so elusive.
I am in very good health, I practice yoga regularly, and meditation slightly less often. I eat whole, unprocessed, organic foods prepared at home most of the time, and drink exclusively fresh mountain spring water. I have been blessed with near perfect health for my whole life, and have no abnormalities to speak of (physically at least..)
Also, I am in a relationship with a beautiful woman that is nearing the two year mark. She is about 9 weeks pregnant. What I am recounting to you, she does not, nor will she ever know about. I couldn't bring myself to tell her - it would cause her unnecessary pain, when I have more than learned my lesson already. Carrying this burden is a tremendous amount of pain, so I come here to express it in hopes of some relief.
My drug use has been somewhat problematic throughout our relationship, but nothing out of the ordinary. Microdosing LSD a bit too often, smoking too much weed and being out of it, popping some pills and being moody afterwards, the usual fare.
GHB took me on the ride of a lifetime. I did a ton of reading about it before deciding to try it, and ordered a 65mL bottle that was reported to be about 1g of NaGHB powder per 1.16mL of solution. The solution came filled with glitter (instead of blue food dye I suppose) and tasted salty as fuck. At the time I got the G, I was (and am) without a home. It's a long story that I won't go into here, but believe it or not this time it actually isn't my fault. Anyway, my first recommendation would be never take GHB outside my home.
I thought it would be a great alcohol replacement, but the truth is I felt way, way more fucked up on GHB than I ever did on alcohol. It's tricky...it somehow feels so lucid and euphoric that I didn't realize how truly out of control of my body I was. Anyway, it was a Sunday, and I started dosing at about 6am when I arrived to my job selling products at a farmer's market. I am normally a little grumpy, and it was great to start the day off in a fantastic, sociable mood. I was sure to keep my dose very low, around 1-2g every couple hours or so. The last thing I wanted was to go into something resembling a coma in the middle of a work day.
The day went wonderfully, and anytime I felt myself coming down I just took a little more. This went on until I got off work around 6pm. So, I decided to see what the G could really do. I went a little more heroic with my dosing on my way to a friend's house. [Erowid Note:
Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]
Being homeless, I had arranged with my friend to cook dinner for my pregnant girlfriend in her kitchen.
I did drive, but fuck it is dangerous and stupid.
When I arrived at her house around 730pm, I was thoroughly fucked up. I felt light, super giggly, extremely confident, uber relaxed, floaty, euphoric as all hell, I wanted to dance or fuck!! I started to feel incredibly turned on. My friend, who is an older woman, had her friend over giving her a massage. They were about to leave to some festival, and after they departed I texted her saying we should all have a threesome. This is totally out of character for me, and I don't know what possessed me to be so horny and ridiculous. It was seemingly uncontrollable.
I don't know what possessed me to be so horny and ridiculous. It was seemingly uncontrollable.
I kept dosing more and more, an was so unbelievably euphoric that I put on music and was dancing all around as I cooked dinner.
OH, side note, I had slept at this friend's house the night before, and had taken the GHB then as well. I woke up the next day with oil burns all over my face that took me a while to realize I'd gotten them while cooking on GHB. I just wasn't able to feel them. Anyway, I digress.
After dinner was prepared, I left to bring it to my girlfriend around 930pm. She unfortunately told me I was not allowed to come into her house that night because her mom was there (another long story...) which pissed me off. I gave her the food and left without saying a word. While sitting in my car, taking more G, an explosively powerful horniness swept over me, and I knew I had to do whatever I could to get laid that night.
I ended up on craigslist, and when I could not find any women, I resorted to looking for men!! This is again, completely out of character for me. I felt that I just needed something to fuck and it didn't matter what. Well, there's tons of guys on that site (so gross for me to think about now....) and I found one to meet up with. After sending a dick pic (christ!) we decided to get together and I headed towards his place. Once I went inside, he started giving me a blowjob, and I just had to close my eyes and fantasize and it was the greatest thing ever. The feeling of the sexual pleasure was magnified x1000 from the GHB. They aren't joking when they say this is a prosexual drug. I will spare you all the details, but let's just say I ended up letting him put his dick inside me, without protection!! I told him not to cum, and he didn't....but still, this is incredibly dangerous behavior that I have now stressed about ever since. HIV is a very difficult disease to transmit, and it's usually only with excessive sex that transmission does happen (also read the Ayurvedic view on HIV/AIDS for more info on this theory) but still, just the thought is enough to make me never do something like this again!!! I was out of my mind!! But, I felt like I was totally lucid the whole time. Honestly looking back it's like I was possessed.
Anyway, I left that guy's house, and went to stop at the gas station. I got some gas, and was so fucked up that I was just standing next to my car almost losing consciousness every 20-30 seconds. My eyes would close and I'd start to go down, then all of a sudden I would snap out of it. It's like a much more twisted, totally unpleasant version of the nod on opiates. It was now about 12am. Holy shit...and I had gotten up at 3am for work, running on less than 4 hours of sleep.
Some lady came and asked me for money to buy cigarettes, which I took as a cue to start a conversation that I hoped would end in us hanging out an having sex. How ridiculous looking back on it. After her brother showed up and told me to scram, I got back in my car and felt still incredibly horny and listless. I got back on Craigslist (!!!) and this time found a female prostitute!
She told me her rate, something like $50 for a half hour, and I headed towards the hotel she was staying at about 10 minutes away.
Jesus, I can't believe this even as I am typing it.
I got to her place, and just to be careful in case I got robbed (I've never been with a prostitute before...I've BEEN a prostitute, but never with one) I left my money in the car. I went up to her room, and she let me in. She was an old, tweaked out looking, fat, cigarette smoking gnarly ass chick. I was nauseated, but I couldn't be rude and just tell her I wanted to leave. Even though her breasts were incredible worn out and saggy looking...some part of my mind still kept telling me that I could enjoy it somehow. I laid down on the bed, and we chatted for a bit. Or, I should say, she would ask me some question, like what do I do for work or something, and I would struggle to utter even a single word as I was so incredibly incoherent. My brain was a big pile of mush. I couldn't form a thought to save my life, much less utter a sentence.
Well, next thing I remember, I woke up in the middle of the hotel parking lot, with an indian guy who clearly runs the hotel, and an intimidating white guy standing in the background. I stand up, and they keep demanding I tell them where my room is. I just say I don't want trouble, and I wanna go home. He tells me if I don't give up my room number, he is going to call the cops. Something about how I was begging must have struck a chord with him, because he told me he would give me ten minutes to go back into my room or else he would call the police. I stumbled up the stairs, in disbelief of what was happening (I had just been arrested a week ago and could not afford to have that happen again) and lo and behold my car key and cell phone were sitting on the mat in front of the room I had been in. I grabbed them, went down the stairs, and sprinted out of the hotel parking lot to a nearby neighborhood. I hopped over the wall near some traintracks and laid down in the grass. Looking at my phone it was now a little past 3am.
At this point I had a very troubling side effect - uncontrollable twitching. It felt like what I imagine having parkinsons disease feels like. After waiting 30 minutes or so, I jumped over the wall next to the hotel lot (where I fucked the landing and hit a very spikey tree, causing huge gashes in my back), ran to my car, got in and got the fuck out of there. The Indian guy saw me for sure and I was just praying he didn't have the police waiting somewhere to pull me over. I got on the freeway and went back to the place I sleep (at my work) as quickly as possible. I went inside, laid down, and felt the worst I've felt in a long, long time. I didn't know I could feel like such a soulless piece of shit. I felt so oddly stimulated, but so incredibly tired.
I managed to fall asleep, and didn't feel too awful (physically) the next day...but holy shit. That is quite a few experiences crammed into one day. Not to mention having to hide all that from my girlfriend...I feel so sorry to her for being such an idiot. But, I try to have compassion for myself, and just be the best, most faithful, loving man I can from this point on.
If I were ever to do GHB again, it would be PRECISELY measured, and I would NEVER, EVER leave my home while doing it. I would make sure my partner knew exactly what I was doing, and would have nobody else around.
Be careful out there guys.
[Reported Dose: '1g repeated. 20-30g total over 24 hours.']
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