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Elephant in a Circus
Salvia divinorum (10x extract)
by Meischel
Citation:   Meischel. "Elephant in a Circus: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (10x extract) (exp109143)". Oct 2, 2021.

200 - 250 mg smoked Salvia divinorum (extract - 10x)
    smoked Cannabis  


First of all, I will start this Salvia trip report with some backgrounds.

Me and one of my friends were on a one week vacation to Brussels and Amsterdam. First three days in Brussels and the rest of the week in Amsterdam. We were somewhat exhausted of all the walking, late nights, and the blazing heat in the Brussels when we took a train to Amsterdam. We have never been these 'travel-alot' type of guys, so we had some stress about the hotel bookings and train tickets and all the hassle around us. So, we took the train, arrived in Amsterdam and found our hotel.

We proceeded to go to the nearest coffeeshop, when we came across this smartshop selling all kinds drug-related equipment. We decided to go and have a look. There was all this stuff one would expect to find in a smartshop: bongs, pipes, bubblers, lighters, rolling papers, test kits, growing equipment, books and everything in between. We were looking around untll I noticed something I really didn't expect to see. Salvia Divinorum.

At the time, I didn't know it was legally sold in Netherlands. I had read something about this herb on the internet and seen like one or two videos, where (usually) teenagers smoke some really potent extract and lose their minds for a moment, but I didn't really knew much about the herb. And I have to point out, that I had never had a psychedelic experience prior to this point.
I had never had a psychedelic experience prior to this point.

I asked some instructions from the vendor, and he told me how to use it and recommended 10x extract for a first timer. I thought to myself: 'well, this should be quite mellow for the first time, since they took like 100x extracts in the videos'. Yeah...

We headed for a park nearby, with the Salvia, some weed and a few beers. This was a very popular and busy park with hundreds of people walking and chilling around. We found a RELATIVELY peaceful spot, under a tree near a small pond with a fountain in the middle. We listened to some music from our portable speaker and smoked cannabis. And then came the time to jump into the world of Salvia.

The set & setting was basically this:

-tired from all the walking and the heat (it was 30+ decrees celcius)
-some stress about the traveling and the massive amount of people and hassle around us
-foreign and basically unknown place (we had arrived in the evening the day before, so we didn't know the place)
-a really not so peaceful, and totally not private spot to have a first psychedelic experience


-beautiful view in the park and sunny weather
-excited about the vacation and the experience I was about to have
-the friend watched my back (trip sitter)
-overall good mood

And now to the actual report

I packed my pipe with about 0.2 grams of 10x Salvia extract. I didn't have a scale, but since the whole package was 0.5 grams and the vendors dosage recommendation was 0.25 grams, I took little less than half of the package. Just in case.

The smoke was quite harsh on the throat, but not unbearable. I used a regular lighter and it worked just fine, even though some say you need the torch thingy. After taking a hit, I held it in for about 15 seconds and then exhaled. I wasn't expecting to feel much, maybe some mild visuals and strange thoughts and brightened colours, but what happened was something I couldn't have even imagined.

I tried to start a conversation with my friend, but all of a sudden the world before my very eyes started to spin rapidly like a wheel in a slot machine
the world before my very eyes started to spin rapidly like a wheel in a slot machine
. I felt pressure in my forehead and something really bizarre; my nose grew into a trunk. Or at least that's how I tried to describe the feeling to my friend afterwards. It wasn't that I thought 'oh my god, now I'm an elephant!' during the trip, but I can't really describe the sensation other way. Then the spinning stopped and I tried to focus again, but immediately the world lost its 3rd dimension. Everything became completely flat, like a painting I was looking at from 10 centimeters away. If I had been asked how far away was the tree just behind my friend, I could not had been able to estimate the distance, because everything came straight to my face as an evenly laid sheet.

Then I looked down to the grass. There was some leaves fallen from the tree we were sitting under and they were coloured orange and brown. My vision got distorted completely as soon as I saw them. The leaves seemed to magnify in colour and size, my field of vision blurred with orange colour. I think it was so intense because the grass was green and the leaves were orange, so they were in a stark contrast.

At this point only about ten seconds had passed when I was still somewhat aware of the situation (my friend started to film my trip with a mobile phone, but I was unaware of it), but I started to lose it. It felt like some other reality started to interfere this reality. Like, when two radio channel frequencies are too close to each other, they start to crackle. At first you hear the channel you were listening to, but then the other frequency takes over and you hear this crackling noise and a little bit of the program they are sending and then you hear your channel again and so on.

Then I started to feel this falling sensation. Like I was dropping backwards out of this whole reality. I reached out my hand and plead to my friend: 'hold me here!' and he took my hand (sounds romantic...). Then I went silent and looked really serious (I watched the video afterwards, so I know what happened). My friend asked me: 'should I turn the music off?', because he thought it was making me feel worse. Actually I couldn't even concentrate on the music at that point. I couldn't even hear it. So he turned off the music and the last thing I could remember being in this reality was when I looked my friend straight in the eye and said: 'hey... What the fuck?' with the most serious voice I've ever heard in my life. (Afterwards I laughed my ass off watching the video, but at the time I was the farthest from laughter I've ever been).

And then I was out. I lost all my memories of my life. I had no idea who or what I was, or where the hell I was. Even what it was like to exist. I couldn't remember I had just smoked salvia. While staring at my friend, not knowing who he was, the visuals changed again. Now it seemed, like I was in a tube, still falling backwards out of this reality and my friend was holding me by the hand just on the edge of reality. The center of my field of vision was a narrow band, wich through I saw clearly, but it was surrounded with these rims. The best way I can describe it, is that if you've ever had a windows 95 on your computer, and you've had the error window pop up and dragged it across the screen. It leaves behind these 'copies' of itself, but you can only see the edges, because they are overlapping. It looked allmost exactly like that, but more, stretched out, colourful and alive. My friend had this gray blue t-shirt on, and this tube-like vision was dominated by that colour.

I got so scared, because I had no idea what was happening or what was behind my back, pulling me so strongly. I somehow knew that the 2 dimensional place at the end of the tube where I saw my friend was some kind of 'natural' place to be, and I was afraid, that if I fell out of it I could never come back.

Then my friend let go of my hand. Maybe he thought I was now feeling fine, because I was silent. But that was not the case. I got completely lost in the visuals, I no longer saw him sitting right in front of me. I looked to my right and saw the leaves again. Those damn leaves... Well, I really couldn't even see them as leaves anymore, all I saw was this bright orange mess, with some kind of line going through it, and next to it a tiny carrot figure with arms and legs. It had a face and it was dressed as an old western movie sherrif, but in a cartoonish way. It was straight outta Disney movie, it even had the white gloves like Mickey Mouse has! I think my mind related the orange colour to a carrot and that's why it popped up in there (no idea why it was a sheriff ). It was the only completely unexisting figure I saw during the trip and it was there only for like two seconds. I then turned my head back to my friend, but didn't see him. Only these weird patterns.

He saw I was totally lost and grabbed my hand again. Then I could see him again. It was like only the touch connected me to this world even a bit.
He saw I was totally lost and grabbed my hand again. Then I could see him again. It was like only the touch connected me to this world even a bit.
I got really angry at him, because I thought he was playing with me. I thought he caused this chaos I was in and now had fun at my expense, letting me allmost drop to the nothingness, then grabbing me again and scaring the shit out of me.

Then I noticed the phone in his hand filming me. It morphed to look like a round object, like he had just one big weird looking camera lens in his hand. That enhanced my belief of him being hostile and mocking me, when I'm at my most vulnerable state. He also morphed to look cartoonish. He had these sunglasses on, which were already hilariously big, but now looked enormous on his face. I'm not sure if he really even smiled, but through my Salvia fueled vision he had this evil grin on his face like Grinch has in cartoons. Suddenly I 'realized' I was on display in some kind of chaotic circus and he was the ringmaster, showing me to the world against my will.

I was in complete hopelessness. I tried to ask him 'why are you doing this to me? Who are you? Please, tell me! What is happening? Why are you doing this?' etc. but I couldn't get the words out of me, because I didn't have a body. I kinda heard the words in my mind and they sounded like I was shouting underwater. They were more like thoughts, not even attempted speech. Like I tried to communicate with him telepathically. Soon I realized he was not going to hear me, or if he did, he completely ignored my pleas. For a moment I tried to fight back, but then I came into this realisation. It came to me like a lightning from a clear sky. I had to let go. I knew it. I knew I was not going to win this situation by fighting back. I had to just accept the reality and let it flow like it flows, whatever part I had in it. Was I even going to survive this? I didn't know. I'm not sure if I really felt like I was dying, but it was like I was ready to accept it. That whatever happens will happen, did I like it or not. So I closed my eyes and let go.

And then poof. I felt those radio channel interferences again. The original channel, where I was from and all my memories were, was starting to take over. I opened my eyes and I could literally see the world slowly expanding from 2D to 3D. Everything was still very blurry and orange, but now I could see the world again. I saw the bond and the fountain, my friend and the park we were in. The feeling of relief was overwhelming when I realized I was coming back. I felt so great joy and relief that I thought I was going to cry. But I started laughing. I still had no firm idea where I was or what had happened, but I was so happy I was a complete me again in this familiar realm. My friend noticed I was slowly coming back and asked me if I knew where I was. I immediately answered: 'nowhere', because I was still so baffled of the nothingness I had experienced. He told me we were in the same park as few minutes ago and I was surprised. I asked him, if we were alone, because I really couldn't remember how many of us were sitting in the park before I smoked the Salvia. I also had to ask him, if I even smoked it. Then I said I needed a moment gather my thoughts together. I was so completely astonished, that I kept saying: 'what the fuck?' to myself over and over again and burst into laughter many times. And I laughed everytime my friend said anything. I was just so joyful.

My perception of time was still a bit off, but I think it took about 10 minutes after I felt normal enough to even think about walking. While sitting there, I noticed my skin felt irritated. Like I was sitting on tiny sharp rocks and was sunburned all over the body. This effect lasted for few minutes and was fading all the time, but in the beginning it was kinda intense. Then I felt like I REALLY needed a beer to settle me down, because it was something familiar to drink beer. And it tasted SO good. It was so soothing to do this normal and 'earthly' thing after that otherworldly experience I couldn't relate to anything else. It calmed me down. Now I was one experience richer.

The experience was very empowering. It didn't give me any new perspective on life, but rather enhanced the 'philosophy' I already had. To trust in life. To understand, that not everything is going to be fun and in ones favor. To accept the 'good' and the 'bad' in life. To just go with the flow and not to worry too much about things that are unchangeable or not crucial. And most of all: not to fear death, because in the end, death is ultimately the price of life.

Exp Year: 2016ExpID: 109143
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 21 
Published: Oct 2, 2021Views: 343
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Salvia divinorum (44) : General (1), First Times (2), Public Space (Museum, Park, etc) (53)

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