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Paranoia and Apathy All Over Me
by Alkaloid
Citation:   Alkaloid. "Paranoia and Apathy All Over Me: An Experience with Melatonin (exp109001)". Aug 24, 2016.

14 mg oral Melatonin (pill / tablet)


That was a bad day for me.
I've been reading something that made me mad and still, sad. This sensation was all over me and I wanted to get high, but I didn't have any drugs with me that day. No benzos, no alcohol, no hashish. But, couple of days before, my mother bought me Melatonin as a cure for my insomnia, so I decided to give it a shot.

SET: Mad, sad and nervous. I even felt pretty negative, depressed and impulsive.
SETTING: my home, only my father was there but he slept during this whole trip.

T+0:00 So, l went over the kitchen and I got the pills straight from the container onto my palm, they were around 14, so 14 mg of melatonin. Impulsively and quickly, I swallowed them all with water. I sat on the couch for a minute or so, waiting drug effects was always stressful to me, so I got a cig and went outside for a quick smoke.

T+0:02 I light up the cigarette, I smoke a lil' bit. After 5 hits, my irritability is completely gone, but I do not feel happy, I feel extremely apathetic. I didn't even bother to focus on what I see, it's not like i couldn't do it, I was just fine by having blurry vision, and I started staring into the void. My body is slightly relaxed. Nicotine is more pleasant than usual.

T+0:05 I go inside, I write some tweets and to my surprise, I can write overall good. I do not think about what made me mad anymore, but I feel kinda scared, I feel like I've taken too much pills. (14 mg is indeed a very high dosage.) I got a very light stomach-burning. I remember that no one ever really died from too much melatonin, and I feel slightly better. My body is very relaxed now.

T+0:20 I mess around with my phone, I go on all my social media apps, nothing seems interesting. I feel like my face is dripping, so I guess my face muscles were really relaxed. Every time I breathe, I feel some kind of weight on my chest.

T+0:27 My heart is REALLY pounding in my chest right now. It's so fast.

T+0:30 Strange hallucinations from the corner of my eye. Nothing too vivid, just some kind of black lines moving backwards. My body is very sensitive, I quickly touched my collarbones and even after minutes I feel like something is still touching it. Touching my phone is so strange, the cover feels smoother than usual.

T+0:35 I yawn very loudly, that was a very long yawn and while doing that I felt like I could vomit from anytime soon. My eyes got really, really watery. I decide to turn on the TV in order to distract myself from my paranoia. While reaching for the remote control, I was really slow at moving. Grabbing that felt strange. Mixing the tactile enhancement with the slow body motion, well, I felt pretty high.

T+0:45 I look for something cool to see, but I end up on this documentary about this girl in a hospital for taking too much drugs. Ow, the irony. It doesn't help with my paranoia, and I feel too nauseated to change channel, so I just close my eyes, and I got this CEV of a succubus trying to eat this nerdy kind. That was weird, lol.

From now on, I blacked out. I fell asleep and I ended up waking up 12 hours later.

About dreams… well, I usually have lucid, vivid dreams by my own, but this time I don't remember ANYTHING. Overall, it was sedative, but I prefer benzos. With melatonin, yeah, I can relax a lot but I felt paranoid and apathetic. With benzos I've got a sense of well-being, and euphoria.

Still better than being sober, anyway.

Exp Year: 2016ExpID: 109001
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: 17 
Published: Aug 24, 2016Views: 1,827
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Melatonin (94) : Overdose (29), General (1), Alone (16)

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