Citation: Mari-arg. "End of the World: An Experience with Cannabis (exp108980)". Erowid.org. Jul 16, 2019. erowid.org/exp/108980
I was in a party, an a friend of mine was smoking a joint. I gave 2-3 puffs from it, I wasnt a frequent smoker, just once in a while if someone offered. This pot was very pure, not the dried one, so it hit pretty hard, really quick. The party was really loud and I sat in a couch as I started to feel overwhelmed by the voices of everyone. I catched isolated words, but every word I heard was reminding me of a memory of a conversation I had with different people at different ocasions long ago, where that word was used. They were all memories from high school, at gave me a frightful feel of meaning and irreality.
I think I closed my eyes, I dont remember, just everything went very dark. I panicked
everything went very dark. I panicked
. The whole world had faded away and I didn´t know what happened. I started to think of the reasons why this happened. First I thought I died and I felt bad for my parents. Second I thought maybe I became crazy and I wasnt aware of reality but I was truly institutionalised and I felt even worse. Then I started to feel like I was floating. I was floating in the dark and I couldnt feel my body. I was sure suddenly, the world had ended. Like it had exploded with some asteroid and that it happened so quickly that anyone had time to be aware of its own death. This certainty made me angry, bexause I was still conscious, and I'm not religious. To be aware after dying wasnt something I was expecting, and I felt annoyed by it.
I started to feel like I was drifting, like falling, and I started thinking of everything that was lost, of everyone that died and that no one had time to say goodbye. I felt so alone and sad. I was cursing the fact that I still existed, I was so alone and afraid and thinking how much time is this going to last? Eternity? Will I join the others or is everyone alone in it one space like me forever?
As I continue falling I tried to calm myself and I started to feel like I was falling through “membranes”.
I started to feel like I was falling through “membranes”.
Every membrane was a state, like I was growing or maturing, from one human condition into another state. As time passed and I continue to fall through this stage, I felt simpler, like a speck of dust lost in space. No longer feeling the need of everything I left behind in my previous life.
This lasted what I felt it was a long time, until a friend of mine shaked my shoulder and asked me If I was alright. I still had a shoulder. I opened my eyes. I had eyes. I was still in the party and my friend told me I sat there for like ten minutes.
I was snapped out of it but still pretty high so I asked if I could go lay down in a bedroom. I was calm now because I knew it was just a trip so I fell asleep easily until it was time to go, a couple of hours later and I was feeling normal by then.
It was a disturbing but interesting experience.
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