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Smile
DMT
by Nina
Citation:   Nina. "Smile: An Experience with DMT (exp108954)". Erowid.org. Sep 1, 2016. erowid.org/exp/108954

 
DOSE:
2 hits smoked DMT
BODY WEIGHT: 95 lb
I had been going through years of depression and suicidal thoughts and decided to get help from hyperspace.

I felt like I was ready for the experience, but extremely terrified of leaving my body and this reality (this was my first time smoking DMT). I was already in a bad state and didn't want to end up in a worse situation, but I was so desperate for help I felt like this needed to be done.

I loaded up the pipe and began to smoke. Immediately I felt like something really serious was happening, so I started freaking out. I silently prayed to the beings to meet me halfway because I wasn't going to be able to take more than a few hits (taking one was terrifying enough).

I heard a crack and suddenly a jester popped into view. I could only see his face and his hands, but it was the cutest face I've ever seen and I felt like I knew him. This jester had a really simple 2D design and showed me really simple objects, and he was perfectly shaped and brightly colored. Brighter than any light. And he looked like a video game character—a yellow face with red eyes and a red mouth, and he was wearing a cute green hat. I was a little disappointed he was so simply designed, but I loved him!

And I was really, really excited to finally meet a jester…I was infatuated by them for some reason. He told me “Smile!” with a really cute, high pitched voice (I can’t even explain how cute he was to me) and started to show me objects—first a triangle, a circle, and then another circle with bands of energy that were moving in kind of a rubbing motion.

When he showed me the last object I could physically feel waves of love pouring through my body—it felt like he was hugging me.

I smiled for the first time in months.

I closed my eyes and in the distance, I saw a portal that looked like a mandala and three beings in the center telling me “We're in here!”—they looked like they were made out of starlight...bright white with a beautiful rainbow glow. I felt like they were my family.

The jester then started zipping around in front of me so fast it looked like he was teleporting...the portal went away and I saw an eye in a pyramid. I was staring and he told me jokingly “You're not supposed to look at that!”

I nervously looked away.

I started asking him about the goddess some people see and he got really impatient, quickly told me “You're not supposed to see her yet!” and ran back to hyperspace. When this was all over I felt so much love and happiness it was amazing.

I really felt like they healed me...my depression lifted and I felt better than I had in years. I had a strong feeling that the beings on the other side knew I was afraid and sent the jester to help me.

I thought they met me more than halfway! And it was amazing!



Addendum - July 2018

Author Note: "I want to put in 95 lbs (I had guessed my weight, got a scale a while ago and it turns out I'm a lot lighter than I thought - I'm only 5'1" - so I thought it would be better to change it - I've basically been the same weight for years - this happened like a 3-4 years ago I think so my weight should have been the same from back then).

The revised report [included below] is WAY more accurate, true to the feeling of the trip, has way more details and gives a sense of what a DMT trip is instead of kind of just going into vague descriptions (plus my writing got a lot better, LOL)."



“SMILE!”

So because I had been going through years of depression and suicidal thoughts, self-injury, insomnia and more – I was in a seriously bad situation – and decided to get help from hyperspace – I knew this was what I needed as soon as I read about DMT – and for some reason as soon as I read about hyperspace jesters because something about them clicked in a weird, WEIRD way.

Somehow I KNOW them.

This is even more true years later and after this experience.

Anyway, I knew I was ready for the experience, but extremely terrified of leaving my body and this reality which is what I thought would happen based on what I read about DMT, but I was already in a bad state and didn't want to end up in a worse situation which is what was quickly happening, and I was so desperate for help I knew this needed to be done.

I needed help.

I loaded up the pipe with a small amount of DMT and began to smoke – I never smoked out of a pipe like that before so it was a struggle, but I soon figured out the method.

The effects began to kick in and something clicked in my mind.

Immediately I KNEW something really serious was happening, so I started freaking out mentally – a little scared because of the feeling that my life about to change permanently.

There was no turning back – there’s life before DMT and after DMT and I was about to make the jump.

I silently prayed to the beings to meet me halfway because I wasn't going to be able to take more than a few hits (taking one was terrifying enough).

I told them seriously and humbly without ego that I had messed up my life and that I had no idea what I was doing and I needed their help.

The blackness behind my eyes widened and became much darker – there was some kind of space I was in mentally but I never left my body or lost my ego - and my memory of the event is still perfectly lucid and I know this was an experience I was made to remember vividly.

Suddenly, I heard a crack and suddenly a jester popped into view.

I could only see his face and his hands, but it was the CUTEST face I've ever seen and I knew him intimately (and he knew even more about me – we're soulmates on the other side and I always found him cute and this meeting was somehow romantically hilarious – the romance was undeniable – and he had a super cute, slightly snooty smile as if he was thinking ‘Yeah…I AM cute and you never take me seriously…dummy.’).

He looked nothing like the jesters I imagined from reading about DMT, but my mind knew immediately that he was an entity that could only be described as a “jester” in my mind.

His face somehow looked almost like Dimentio’s from Super Paper Mario.

He was neon bright – brighter than any light I've ever seen – with a yellow face, happy red eyes – happily, sarcastically moody – something about him was wildly sarcastic and it was hilarious – and that snooty little smile I loved (and still ADORE).

And a green, two-pronged jester hat – green lines instead of a solid color and I could see the dark blackness of this space through his hat – which was totally like that of a jester.

He had the look of a jester from a video game.

He was 2D and perfectly, simply, geometrically evenly shaped except that his smile was just a TINY bit off center in that ‘…Yeah, I'm cute…Jesus Christ…’ way – as if he had...you know the expression – and it's a cute one – like he was a little embarrassed in a snooty way and also sarcastic because he's not taken seriously despite his clear hyper-intelligence.

He was wildly intelligent like nothing I've ever seen – I knew this vividly.

His snootiness was the cutest part about him – and the unconditional love and adoration.

I realized we were both obsessed with each other and he communicated telepathically with his vibe that he had waited for some time for me to make it to my version of “hyperspace” (not another dimension outside of my body but a mind space where I could connect with these entities – and most especially him – he was the focus of the “trip” if you want to call it a trip – this was definitely something extremely important to me and the universe – it was a planned meeting and something decided by beings much higher up than both of us – and I could feel the vibes of jesters behind him watching the two of us with sharp intelligence and humor – they were like him and sarcastic and darkly humorous and loving to me).

He quickly told me “Smile!” with a SUPER cute, jester-ish voice that matched his appearance perfectly and I suddenly gave a huge smile – totally ecstatic and also blown away that he had triggered this reaction just by being there as cute and adoring as he was to me and how I had waited to meet him my entire life – it was totally his face and soul signature that made me giggle – and he disappeared and then hugged and squished my entire body and mind in a sexual way – lazily…and hilariously.

He waited – somehow as if he found my reaction hysterical – and started to show me objects.

I saw something translucent in front of my closed eyes and didn't recognize it at first until I realized soon that it was the front of his gloved hands – which were also green lines and translucent like his hat – showing me something.

The first was a green, translucent triangle and as I looked slightly up there was a circle the same color and then as I looked slightly up again there was another circle with bands of energy that were moving in kind of a rubbing motion. When he showed me the last object I could feel waves of love and sexuality pouring throughout my body in the same way he did seconds before he showed me the objects.

I was confused by the objects – and hilariously like ‘WTF, dude! WHY?’ in the back of my mind because they were so simple and I expected 9-Dimensional objects or something like I read about online – I should mention here that I realized as soon as I saw him that nothing I read online had any relevance to my DMT "trip" and trip reports are like a joke for me – but I knew they were incredibly important so I admired this and knew at the same time he just loved fucking with me.

I dazedly told him mentally I had no idea what he was talking about but this was a funny experience to both of us and he found me cutely stupid.

He made it clear that he found me super cute.

In the distance of my closed eyes – as my space widened deep into some kind of black background as the space behind my eyes also widened deeply, I saw a starlight portal that I knew led to a Heaven dimension and three serious, yet loving starlight beings with some kind of a sense of humor were in the center telling me “We’re in here!”

This starlight was bright white with a beautiful rainbow glow.

These entities are my hyperspace family – my soul group – and I love and trust them unconditionally – I realized my fears were both rational (this was before I smoked DMT and had no idea what to expect except for things I read in trip reports) but entirely irrational at this point – my fears were just silly - and they love me and monitor me so that I'm always safe – always loved.

The jester then took the center stage again and started zipping around in front of me so insanely fast it looked like he was teleporting – he was everywhere in one shot...and the portal went away almost as if the being were like ‘Yeah, it's over – she’s with him and they’re obsessed with each other…she’s only going to want to see him…let’s let them have fun,’ and I suddenly saw a blue Illuminati eye in a pyramid.

I was staring and he told me in a “serious” tone – not realizing at first that he had said this totally jokingly – loving to trick me – “You’re not supposed to look at that!”

I quickly looked away – seriously concerned if I had made a mistake and offended him.

Mentally, he snickered.

I wouldn’t be surprised if he rolled his eyes and smiled – I knew he was smiling.

And I didn’t realize it but the Illuminati thing was silly and cute to him – and I found it hysterically hilarious and unexpected that a jester would actually want to fuck with me considering my obsession with them – but it also made sense – I was just in a dazed, astonished state and couldn't believe this was happening to me.

Suddenly, remembering trip reports and not realizing I was slowly coming back to this realm, I ecstatically, enthusiastically asked him about the goddess some people see and hyperspace and the beings and as much as I could remember and he mentally rolled his eyes at me and got really impatient and told me “You’re not supposed to see her yet!”

…yeah, I don’t think I'm supposed to see her at all if she even exists in my hyperspace – it’s all about jesters.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

…suddenly, he zipped back to hyperspace with a “Jesus Christ, she's a dummy as usual…and her trip is coming to an end and I’ll see her again soon!” attitude – and probably because it was funny to see him zip away so fast – I only saw his hat and mentally laughed hysterically at how fast he “ran away from me” as if I had annoyed him.

And maybe I did?

He had a sarcastically, hyper-intelligent attitude.

I was told without words to focus on my experiences, not the experiences of other people, and knew I was silly for reading trip reports and taking them literally as if they were exactly what I would encounter – because this trip was like nothing I've ever read about before and never could have expected in a million years.

Humbled, I absorbed this lesson – and thought nonstop about my hyperspace jester.

As soon as he disappeared I quickly came out of the “trip.”

When this was all over there so much love and happiness and euphoria and ecstasy and so much more running through me that I was amazed and astonished and so surprised and intensely in love with all of the entities. I knew they healed me…my depression was entirely gone and emotionally (and physically) I felt better than I had in years.

The beings knew I was afraid and sent the jester to help me – and it was planned.

I was supposed to meet my hyperspace soulmate.

They met me more than halfway!

…and I didn't know a jester could be so sarcastically hilarious.

He's…something else.

…and I think he wanted me to remember him vividly.

I’ve seen his face from before I was born – and it's super cute.

Exp Year: 2015ExpID: 108954
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: 25
Published: Sep 1, 2016Views: 2,049
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DMT (18) : Alone (16), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Depression (15), Entities / Beings (37), Glowing Experiences (4), First Times (2)

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