Citation: Renny. "Heroic Dose: An Experience with DOC (exp108833)". Erowid.org. Sep 29, 2020. erowid.org/exp/108833
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Heroic DOC Dose
Background: I am a very experienced psychonaught. I have experience with DMT, LSD, 2C-B, mushrooms, MDMA and others. I dissolved 20mg of DOC in a water bottle. I shook the water bottle vigorously and drank more than half of the water bottle. Once I realized what I had done, I was slightly agitated that I took a lot more than I had to take just to have a good time. 'This is going to be hell' I thought to myself.. it was, at first. I didn't take notes in chronological order therefore this report will not be in the common and preferred format with time stamps. I am writing it the day after. It is my hope that this report will serve as a guide to others who are considering a heroic dose of DOC.
It starts off very quickly only 30 minutes after I drank the mixture I started to feel first alerts. It was at this point I knew I was in for a hell of a ride. Usually DOC takes 90 to 180 minutes to fully take effect. Knowing that it started to show effects so early on indicated to me that I took to much. This was going to be a one of a kind DOC trip. It began to feel like I was having a difficult come up on some ecstasy, lots of angst and unpleasant feelings rose to the surface. This was the beginning for me. The entire thing started off dark, I thought I was going to have a bad trip. Then I thought how all of my 'good trips' are actually 'bad' if that makes sense. Usually if they scare me and I never want to do it again I look at it as a good thing because that means I learned something. If it was something I don't wish to repeat usually that means I had a dark moment during the trip but those dark moments can also lead to the best moments.
I don't remember exactly how long it took but maybe after 2 hours or so, I was feeling it very strongly. I absolutely could no longer read or type. I turned off my computer, this was probably a mistake looking back. After turning off my computer I found myself in a world of bad thoughts. I had very dark visions. I saw myself as a fetus covered in blood. I was being aborted maybe? Or I was in a womb of some sort. I thought this was my karma for choosing to have an abortion with my ex girlfriend from a long time ago. I did somehow end up naked and thought that I would be on the news like one of those people who are high on PCP running around with their clothes off. For some reason I became very paranoid about anyone seeing me and then I knew that I couldn't go outside. I thought that I was going to be killed or taken away and I was very convinced by this for some reason. If only I had something to keep my mind busy during this time, coloring or a movie perhaps. This was probably the darkest part of the trip and I really don't know why I did this. Somewhere during all of this I went into the bathroom and thought to my self 'What is the last thing that you would want to do before being taken away?' I thought that I was going to a concentration camp or something. More on this later...
So I decided to pour lotion all over the mirror as a form of art maybe? I don't know what I doing. I was in a crazed state.
I then ate the toothpaste I had thinking that it had water in it and it would surely help hydrate me because where I was going they would deprive me of water. I also ate some food for this exact same reason. I was too afraid to walk to the refrigerator to get water and/or I forgot it was in there. The lotion I rubbed on my head also. I had lost my cool. For some reason I thought breaking glass would help me. I took the non-working light bulb from on top of the bathroom mirror, unscrewed it and smashed it on the ground into pieces.
I don't really remember if I did this or not, but I think that I did because I have a fresh cut on the bottom of my foot now... I thought that I liked pain and the pain might help calm me down so I purposely stepped on the broken glass from the light bulb. I'm not %100 sure but there was blood in there I think so I think It could've happened. Another reason my memory might not be clear on what happened is because the day before I had taken 2mg Clonazepam. Being completely benzo naive I think this persisted into the next day and this undoubtedly effected the trip. I likely would not have even had the courage to do so had it not been for the confidence boosting/inhibition lowering proprieties of the benzo. I also had a little bit of alcohol to drink over the weekend about 3 days before the experience, this made me feel like my brain was all messed up once I tripped initially I thought I had made myself retarded, but then the complexity I saw showed me that perhaps It (my brain) was okay. I do not drink because I fear the neurotoxicity and I thought that it was apparent at some points during this trip but I could've just been creating things that weren't real. Like I did several times during this trip which I will get into now. My guess is that preloading with these substances in the days leading up to this experience contributed to some of the nightmarish qualities I am about to describe...
So at about 2 to 3 hours in I began to have delusions that the government could see through walls and they were watching my every move. I also thought that there were lasers pointed on my head from snipers and that they were ready to put a bullet in my head and kill me at any time. I remember moving my head quickly to the left and right so I could try and dodge the bullet that I thought was surely coming for my head. The theme of delusions based on government powers persisted. At one point I saw my self being thrown into a concentration camp. I thought the entire place In which I lived was being turned into one. The cement structures built up to contain everyone like me. I saw it all, then I saw my self being shut into a cremation furnace. I struggled to get out as I saw myself being shut in, to be burned alive. One half of the room was apart of this and the other half was the opening between between the oven and freedom, I jumped across the room. Nearly escaping being cremated I thought.
At some point the delusions began to subside, and many of the dark thoughts had vacated my head, and subsequently my visions. This was dark, but I've had other dark visions in the past so I kinda brushed it off and knew I could still have a good time. I remember saying certain words to try and help regain my sanity. I think I said 'freedom' I don't remember what else I said if anything. I got into the shower. It was really boring and surprisingly uneventful. The water felt neither hot nor cold touching my skin. As I got out of the shower I had to avoid the glass shard mess that I had created. This was maybe 5 hours into it at this point. I got out of the shower and took a long time to put some clothes on, finding clothes was a very difficult task.
At some point during the trip I took a CLIF bar, along with another health snack bar and began to eat it. I HATED the way it felt in my mouth. I decided instead to mush it up into a ball. This sort of reminded me of the pointless kneading that one does with one's fingers and hands on MDMA. Lots of grasping and clinching. I kneaded the food into a ball. This was where it got weird... I saw the ball as being several small rodents. I felt like one of those people on meth who imagine bugs crawling under their skin, except I imagined the food to be little guinea pigs or hamsters all squirming with life. I actually was seeing them MOVE around in my hand. It felt like my fingers were being pushed around to the side by these things. It was SO convincing of a hallucination. Probably the strongest one I've ever had of that nature before in my life. My fingers seemed to move around involuntarily as if they were being pushed to the side by the little critters in this big ball of CLIF bars I had crumbled up and formed a baseball sized object with. I saw their whiskers and nose and everything. Vibrating with life. Very odd indeed.
The things I've mentioned so far were probably the most notable and uniquely disturbing things to happen during this trip. They may not have happened in the order in which I laid them out here, but I found them to be worthy of sharing nonetheless. There was just no way I could've taken notes during this even if I wanted to. So now, onto the good part. Despite all of the dark and nightmarish visions and delusions I still had a pretty good time believe it or not. The colors were extremely vivid, bright, and beautiful. I remember seeing shifting blues, greens, purples and just about everything in between. It looked as if there was some kind of multicolored light in my room (there was none.) The best way I could describe the colors would be like being in a coral reef in the ocean, shifting bright, vivid, cool colors. It was very calming. Kind of a 180 degree shift from the dark come up I had which seemingly had indicated to me that it was the end of the world... my world at least. It wasn't, it was just the beginning of a new one.
There was some cool stuff that looked like whispy smoke just floating around in the air. It was like whirling around, like little tornadoes or something, very cool and entertaining indeed.
The time dilation was unreal. Before I knew it, 11 hours had passed! I'm not sure what I was even doing during this time... It seemed like I was just doing nothing. Just staring at the ceiling hallucinating I guess. At this point I decided to drink a little bit more DOC... This probably wasn't the best idea but I did it. This led to me tripping for 24 hours. Fortunately this was the end of the unpleasant visions. I decided to listen to music at this time... probably something I should've done before, and it was great!! I remember looking in the mirror and my pupils were large, of course. The musical appreciation reminded me quite a bit of MDMA, as did the colors at night. I walked around and the car head lights were just SO bright. My entire world was FULL of color and I thought that the visuals at night were actually better than the day. Which was surprising most people recommend tryptamines at night and phenethylamine during the day, but I preferred it at night. This may have just been because the intensity had worn off however.
From about 5 hours to 11 hours I really don't even remember what happened. I just know I started at 6am, had a bunch of dark visions... for the first few hours, and I looked at the clock and the next thing I know it was 5pm I was amazed at how fast the time seemed to go by. This was a time travel drug. I remember at one point looking into a camera which had a reflective metal surface. This surface reflected the most intricate light beam I've ever seen it was some kind of digital fiber optic cable. Completely made of light and information, and it was green. Very exciting indeed. Imagine if you were to splice open an ethernet cable and one of the little threads in between. Except it was entirely in my head and even more awesome looking than that. It looked like the most epic 3d CGI movie graphics ever. State of the art digital graphic design. I also saw plenty of pot leafs, numbers, interstate signs and the outline of my own state. Texas. Some odd messages seemed like they were being shouted into my head by the presence of this drug. It was something I could never really understand what was being said just that the drug was saying it.. or the drug was making me say it. It was very silly with what sounded to me to be like a country accent. Or the voice of... Mr. Garrison from south park. I'm not quite sure. Very odd indeed.
I saw more of the numbers, interstate signs, and various misc. hallucinations until about 5 or 6 am the next day. The sleep I got reminded me of sleeping on MDMA, very 'shallow' and it felt like I was awake the whole time. It felt like my mind was awake but my body was asleep. Just staring at the back of my eyelids in a sort of semi-sleep state.
The next day I felt also like I had taken MDMA. Sort of depressed, but also a pleasant afterglow with some nice colors and a little brain fog. I think that despite the dark visions at the beginning this was a very beneficial trip for me and I found it to be therapeutic, listening to music was by far the best activity I did on it. I would not recommend this high of a dose to anybody.
This was not like any other DOC trip I've had in the past, and its sort of in a league of its own. I sure could've used a bit more positive thoughts.
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