Citation: WiLnO. "The True Nature Of Things: An Experience with DMT & Ketamine (exp108734)". Erowid.org. Jan 14, 2017. erowid.org/exp/108734
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After exhalation I experienced an almost Instant receding of reality.
I could not remember what drug I had taken and very quickly even what the definition of drugs were. I felt overwhelmed physically at this point, for I felt my self separate from this existence entirely to a place that is almost (and most of it was) unfathomable to describe.
I lost time in places on this trip and there was a strong sense afterwards that some of the trip was held back from my memory somehow purposefully by my own sub-conscious or by some ‘other’ force.
The parts I can describe were of: Cascading geometric, and obtuse patterns all mashed together mixing and moving in perfect symmetry. The marquee/tent I was in sitting on cushions with my friends also ceased to exist from my perception.
The humanoid “shadow beings” which I had encountered before on DMT suddenly appeared, morphing into shape out of the overwhelming fractals and dancing shapes I was experiencing. Any anxiety I was experiencing before vanished when I saw my “inter-dimensional allies”, I felt glad to see them, they always seem to give out a sense of excited mischievousness and the “beings” almost aways seemed childlike dancing around me as if playing a game with each other to see who could get the closest to me and then float away quickly giggling without sound.
It’s interesting to note that; although childlike this time around their presence was stronger and for the first time felt a “strong sense” that these beings whatever they are, are incredibly ancient and wise.
Behind them were huge eyes of different sizes blinking in non-unison somehow grafted to the fabric of the dark void I now found myself in. There were maybe 6 or 8 of them, some with eyelashes, some without.
There were maybe 6 or 8 of them, some with eyelashes, some without.
The eyes and the space I was floating in seemed impossibly huge but not infinite… A separate void seemed to open up within one of the eyes and rush towards my point of view very quickly until I was consumed with flower and sea shell patterns rushing past me... this plain did give a sense of infinity unlike the void before. Huge dancing translucent wisps of light made mostly out of gold and bright yellow light would morph and twist, shapes would grow from nothing and transform back to a tranquil blackness. I noticed I didn’t feel like I had a body or that I was even a separate “thing” from these beings, forces, shapes, colours and patterns.
The next thing I remember I was back in the Marquee sweating profusely I noticed, but I was looking at my self from the outside through the eyes of one of my friends or perhaps a random onlooker who was there as well. There were people coming in and out of the tent occasionally. I was attending a dance party by a river with about 150 people. I could not tell who’s eyes I was looking through as didn’t have access to their mind or body simply their perspective.
My physical form I could see had it eyes closed and then would open wide occasionally with an expression of amazement painted on my face. They would then close again, and my expression would change to a dreamy sick looking expression. A lot of sweat was pouring from my brow and I was swaying gently on the pillow I was sitting on.
I’m not sure for how long I remained in this third person perspective, but at some stage my perspective shifted back to my body and I was looking out through my eyes once again. I could see everyone in the room looking at me, but their bodies were made out of moving, shifting shapes and colours, and the background seem to be indistinguishable.
I also noticed that there were stretched out translucent colours of all sorts and shades around my peripherals creating a rectangle like tunnel vision, the more I noticed this colour the further it stretched and the rectangle appeared to move further away from ‘me’.
Once I focused on the end of the tunnel I could see the rectangle was a screen which appeared to be glass with light blue translucent gameboy controls on it, e.g The A and B buttons and the directional pad. Through the glass was the marquee and my friends but it looked far away and I felt stretched out in an infinite dimension of bright metallic colour. This was quite terrifying. It seemed that on the other side of that glass gameboy screen at the end of this tunnel was the reality I know and lived in, but I began to feel that I was slipping away from it getting further and further away.
This is the only part of the trip that I felt true panic and fear, I felt that I would not be able to get back to my reality. All of a sudden through the panic I thought I heard some of my friends saying my name, though it was almost inaudible as if the eq was off somehow. Up to this point I heard almost no sound during the trip. Although the intensity of what I was experiencing throughout the trip seemed to make sounds that I was not hearing with my ears. It was almost like an imagining of what the morphing visual phenomena I was seeing would sound like.
When I panicked I must have attempted to stand and stumbled, because the sounds of my friends became louder and I could see them through the screen scrambling around. I could hear them saying. “It’s Alright S, It’s Alright”, “have some water”, “sit back down”…“breathe”. As soon as I heard the word ‘breathe’ I seemed to remember I ‘could’ breathe and made a conscious attempt to inhale a large breath.
As soon as I heard the word ‘breathe’ I seemed to remember I ‘could’ breathe and made a conscious attempt to inhale a large breath.
I instantly felt the air in my lungs and it filled me with a blanketing warmth, after exhaling I started moving back towards the gameboy screen. The stretched out shifting colours became shorter with each breath and exhalation, until I went past the screen and it disappeared behind my vision and I was back in the marquee/tent.
I could see everyone around me but not make out who they were at first, all I saw were figures made from patterns of abstract swirling colour. I continued to breath deeply and exhale. After a minute the swirling shapes and colours seemed to change and take uniform shape, almost like tuning in a television.
All of a sudden everything became clear, the first face I recognised was my girlfriend whom I hadn’t seen for hours on account of a fight we had earlier on that night. She was sitting close to me on a chair, any animosity there was between us earlier in the night seemed to have been forgotten for she was smiling brightly at me and I remembered that I loved her. I turned and looked at my other friends and I recognised them as well. They were all smiling brightly at me as well, my friend Y gave me a smirk and a reassuring nod and I smiled back…
This is a bit hard to describe... because even though I recognised everyone and everything, they were still made out of the same swirling patterns and colours from before, but remember I had ‘tuned in’ so to speak when I ‘remembered’ I could breathe. (I was obviously breathing fine during the whole experience) So what I was seeing ‘I think’ was everything in five dimensions. They were shifting and spinning, their faces and limbs and everything that made them physical beings and also the tent around them, were all in several places at once spinning and flickering in and out of existence in perfect symmetry.
This all took seconds to realise but once I did, everything I was seeing became more vivid and more intense even if didn’t think it possible. I could see, feel and hear everything as vibrations, I felt warm waves of energy flowing through me and my very consciousness. Everyone was still looking at me and they were still five dimensional but I noticed a sort of red and blue ’light energy’ pulsating all around me and flowing from me into everyone through growing and shrinking ‘cables’ made of shapes that were connected to everything.
Although this was extremely intense visually and physiologically overwhelming, at this point I was calm. I was also convinced that, everyone else could see what I was seeing and that they were on the trip with me. At the time I couldn’t understand how they could not be seeing what I was seeing for there was I strong sense of communal love and understanding in the ‘atmosphere’. I could see energy flowing out of my being and being absorbed by everything in the environment, or maybe the energy was my, or part of my being?
I felt an overwhelming sense that I was a leader, and that my friends truly looked up to me and respected me. As I looked around at my friends and girlfriend (all still perceived by me as five dimensional interconnected flickering vibrating beings) looking at me smiling, I felt an incredibly strong sense of responsibility to make a better example out my own life with the intelligence I have for the sake of the people I care about and even the people I don’t.
This all lasted about 1 or 2 minutes and then I noticed the vibrating slow and stop, and then again like a television everything ‘tuned in’ back into three dimensional reality. Everything started to look normal again but for some time after I still saw peoples faces flicker slightly and what appeared to be some sort of translucent energy field around them.
I was literally lost for words and I think the first thing I said was “What the fuck just happened?”, and was met with laughter from my friends. I hugged and kissed my girlfriend and drank about a litre of water, I was dehydrated and sweating profusely, mostly because of the alcohol I’d consumed that night. After about 10 min I felt strongly grounded and back in my own dimension.
All in all it was an amazingly positive, mind blowing and thought provoking experience, and something that I won’t ever forget. It was especially interesting that I had such an intense experience from such a small dose of approx. 0.05g. Although I would attribute the extra intensity too a small/medium line of ketamine I had 15 min earlier.
I believe DMT shows its true nature when it feels ‘you’ are ready to experience it. I have had much larger doses of the same quality product in the past which were great experiences as well, but they were nowhere near the intensity of this mind melting trip that I have just described here.
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