Citation: Student_of_Life. "Small First Steps With Small Effects: An Experience with MXP & Nootropics/Supplements (ID 108006)". Erowid.org. Feb 29, 2016. erowid.org/exp/108006
Experience with cannabis, LSA (repeated), MDMA and 2C-B combined (once), MXE (once), LSD (once) and now MXP. My first psychedelic experience was about 3 years ago and I tend to trip fairly rarely, about once in about a couple of months.
I'm in good shape, exercise regularly, good relations with friends and family, got a good job. I consider myself a psychonaut rather than a recreational drug user so I'm looking forward to what insights MXP has to offer. I have a feeling that I'm pretty sensitive to psychedelics, but of course there's no way to absolutely measure that since substances affect different people in different ways.
I'm not a native english speaker so some concepts described here can be a little confusing or misleading, especially since I'm under the influence of MXP.
RECENT SUBSTANCE/TRIP INFORMATION:
Had my first serious solo trip last Sunday (it's Friday now) with LSD (200 mcg), with glowing results; I made a new friend recently and LSD showed me how to help her deal with some of her mental issues. It also made me realize which things in life are the most important right now, so basically I'm in a great mood and my moral compass is set straight.
Took Nicergoline, L-Theanine, Phenylpiracetam, Choline, Vitamin D and Vitamin B Complex today in the morning. I also use a lot of other nootropics but that's my current regimen, I sometimes replace Nicergoline with Hydergine. I consume my stack just about every other day.
All in all, set & setting is great. I'm at home by myself and playing pleasant music. Made a smoothie an hour ago and ate some of that so I have some food in my system.
T+0:00 - Ingested 10 mg MXP ::
It's 7:30 pm. Allergy test with ~10 mg MXP, oral. My scale only does 0.01 grams, I probably should get a more accurate one if I'm to dabble more with research chemicals. Turns out MXP tastes like what can only be described as cardboard with a strong hint of solvent. My stuff looks like fine white crystal powder.
T+0:20 - Ingested 60 mg MXP ::
Not feeling any immediate effects beyond a slight feeling of sedation. I went ahead and mixed the rest of the 70 mg I measured with water and drank the whole thing. Yep, still got that cardboard taste. Swished the glass with more water. Started typing this report.
A slight feeling of nausea. The sedating effect persists as it was after the allergy test, nothing else yet.
Noticing an increase in music appreciation. It's as if I can pick out more instruments and hear new vocalists. I'm liking this, and it contributes positively into the setting.
Nothing seems to be happening so I decided to do something productive. I trimmed my mustache and had a weird urge to cut down my eyelashes. I have a feeling I have to exercise some self control tonight.
I have a feeling I have to exercise some self control tonight.
Right after I put down my scissors gravity started to change in waves, seems like the effects of MXP are coming up. Got a dull, slight sensation of headache so I got myself some water.
Music started to sound irritating so I turned it off. Listening to water flowing in the radiator pipes is enough right now. I'm sitting on the couch, looking out of the window into the snowy neighborhood outside. Cars drive by and people shuffle in their windows. Who are my neighbors? What's in their minds right now? Are they happy? Are they sad? Everything seems to be at peace. I am relaxed.
Contemplating on redosing. I made a decision against ingesting more since this is my first time with MXP and I don't want to lose self control and possibly trash my place and my mind (reports on Bluelight describe compulsive redosing behavior and highly negative, or at least weird, consequences). Moderation is the way to go in life.
Turns out the decision not to redose was the correct one. The dull headache is turning into what feels like a change in perspective of reality, as if MXP wants to hold my hand and take me away. I feel like I would have panicked if I took the additional dose. I put my laptop down, put on an extra pair of socks and relax.
The initial rush is gone and I'm left with a sense of simultaneous confusion and clarity. Sounds weird, and it is. Feels as if my thoughts are scrambled but my physical senses are heightened. Certainly a slight dissociative state. Time feels compressed instead of dilated, it's hard to keep track of how long I've kept a single thought in my mind.
Confusion. Weirdness. No insights, no feelings, just confusion. I get the feeling that the lack of external stimulus is what's causing this, as there's no music playing, nobody else in the house, lights are on, everything is static. I feel it's easy to just lose myself in time, staring at the Erowid experience submission form, doing nothing. It's like I'm an empty vessel, ready to be filled. I turn to Youtube and see if anything changes.
Got distracted and started to listen to music again. No visuals, just mental dissociation, still feeling empty.
I started to think about the middle aged couple next door (I live in a detached house); they often have lights on throughout the night and somehow I get the feeling that they might be into psychedelics. I'll just have to look into their eyes someday, maybe we'll both know then. Life will become interesting if my suspicions are confirmed.
T+3:00 - Ingested 10 mg MXP ::
I have to get off the computer. I need to feel the world around me. I splashed my feet with warm water in the shower and it felt really nice. Decided to boost the night with 10 more mgs of MXP as I've constantly felt like I'm on the edge of a greater experience. Still got that chemical-like solvent cardboard taste going on, not very pleasant. I'm going to scold myself afterwards if this turns into madness.
Turns out the booster worked its charm: I immediately started scrubbing my bath tub so I could take the best bath ever. Cleaning my house was an essential part of my first LSD experience as well; I just couldn't stop cleaning. Now I've come to realize how much my apartment is an extension of my own true self and how extremely therapeutic cleaning your house and putting your things in order is. I envy women for their innate ability to feel and see this, and am so glad that through entheogens I can also feel the same flow. I'd like to call it a part of empathy, but who am I to define what empathy is?
I'm also dancing, music flows through me as motion. Moving is effortless yet controlled, I feel like I'm the most 'powerful' (couldn't think of a better word) dancer in the world.
Seems like MXP works in waves. A lot of the time I'm completely devoid of everything (mostly when I'm typing on the computer), and the next second I come to a sudden realization of something more or less important. It could be that what I felt through MXP was just an intensified afterglow of my previous LSD experience. Right now I'm an empty vessel again, ready to be filled with passion for something that has to be done. No feelings whatsoever, not even an urge to redose (which was constantly present earlier).
It's midnight. Almost back to baseline. Feeling tired, drinking water and eating the rest of the smoothie I made earlier. I have a feeling the booster dose gave me the energy to have a single insight and then the whole thing just died. I haven't ruled out the possibility of the trip coming back up again but I'm doubtful. Water's pouring into the bath tub, I'm going to bathe regardless. I'm also beginning to doubt the quality of the product I've been provided, maybe what I ingested was just crystalline cardboard extract.
Slight distortions at the edges of vision. Feelings of wobbliness and numbness. Is this it? Am I turning into cardboard?
1:35 am. Bath time is over (which was pretty great, I have to admit). Going to bed.
Woke up with some soreness in my neck. Feeling pretty positive overall. I decided to eat some breakfast, type the rest of this report down and go shopping for clothes.
Final word: MXP was a pretty underwhelming experience using my dosage. I'll have a pause of a month from psychedelics and give it another shot since I have plenty of the stuff. And I'll do it without any nootropics in my system. I have a slight suspicion that I only barely crossed light trip levels due to LSD tolerance or nootropics cross tolerance. Or the stuff was simply complete bunk, in which case I'll just bin it. I'll also be braver with booster dosing, yet caution has to be exercised.
MXP did make me experience a total lack of feeling and thought though. Maybe that's the lesson for tonight? Who knows, I think it should be an experience to respect and reflect on nevertheless.
Thanks for reading!
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Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.