Citation: Mahan Atma. "Extended Kundalini Awakening: An Experience with LSD (exp10774)". Erowid.org. Nov 24, 2001. erowid.org/exp/10774
About a year ago, at the age of 31, I had the beginnings of a spontaneous kundalini awakening that has been facilitated in part by psychedelics. I was not aware of kundalini as a general phenomenon, but I had been practicing sexual abstinence and having a lot of very intense, life-changing spiritual realizations for about a month, when I then imbibed about 100 mics of very clean LSD on New Year's Eve, 2000-to-2001. This trip greatly intensified my spiritual awakening, with quite positive effects. I quit drinking completely that night (after about 20 years of heavy alcohol use), started exercising like mad, and lost about 50 pounds over the course of the next four months. I withheld all orgasms for weeks at a time (even while engaging in sexual activity), and worked on driving the energy up my spine.
At the same time, my life became immediately imbued with amazing synchronicities, and I discovered yoga and kundalini. I was reading huge quantities of books about Eastern mysticism, psychedelics, Stan Grof's stuff, and so on. Finally it all made sense!! I had entered into what seemed like a permanent state of inebriation, to the point where marijuana literally became impotent, and so I gave it up as well. I dramatically improved the quality of my diet, eating almost nothing but organic fruit, vegetables and soy products in quite small quantities, and began to really taste food for what seemed like the first time in my life.
At the same time though, I seemed to be struggling with my own self-identity and purpose in life. At the peak I seemed to have delusions of grandeur about myself, considering myself a messenger from God, and sometimes acting like an ass as a result. I was sleeping only 2 to 4 hours a night, and driving my wife nuts with manic behavior of all sorts. I never got depressed though, just plain manic! Life seemed magical and yet I was aware that I was bordering on what might have been described as mental illness, at least from the perspective of an outsider. My family was worried about me and the dramatic changes in my personality, although when they talked to me in person and saw the physical improvements, they were greatly reassured. I enjoyed the experience, but at the same time several knowledgeable people told me that I needed to balance myself, and that it might not be a bad idea to back off a bit. So somewhat reluctantly, I did. I eased up on the yoga, ate a little more tamasic food, engaged in more frequent sexual releases, and generally slept more.
Over the course of the next year I did indeed achieve balance, and found myself much more serene, humble and generally normal-feeling, for better or worse. At the same time, I lost much of the magical quality, the amazing synchronicities, the natural intoxication, and the feeling of being imbued with spirituality and God-ness. Also, I was aware that my awakening had been incomplete. I had been studying kundalini awakenings of all descriptions, and I had not yet experienced the full-blown psychic and physical manifestations.
After some time, I enhanced my yogic practices once again. I had been purifying my body through fasting, exercise and sexual abstinence for two weeks. I then took about 300 mics of the same very clean LSD, and after about an hour, my hips began quivering uncontrollably at a certain frequency, which I have experienced before while on tryptamines and which I had surmised was kundalini energy. During an extended sexual encounter with my wife, I experienced one of the most intense orgasms of my life, and at the end of it, very powerful shudders and waves of energy began to pass through my body, starting at the root chakra and passing up through the spine. It was very much like being at the end of the tail of a big electric rattlesnake, and being whipped about uncontrollably, but not uncomfortably so.
I was subsequently filled with an unimaginable degree of ecstasy and very profound insights, many of which revolved around sensing the presence of a female Goddess archetype in my wife. I sensed a truly frightening degree of power coming from this Goddess, but I also felt protected and loved, and damned lucky to be so! During continued sexual activity, at the minutes just prior to orgasm, I became aware that there was a fluid being secreted from the upper, forward part of my throat/nasal cavity, roughly at the height of the nose (amrita). It seemed closely related to the extended sublimation of semen, which I had been practicing for some time.
The remainder of the evening was filled with hilariously amazing synchronicities and realizations of startling intensity. In the aftermath, I felt wise and content; not delusional and manic.
I have discovered that, for me, the awakening is something that takes place over a long period of time. In fact, it really started when I was an adolescent, and then returned after nearly twenty years of semi-dormancy. It comes and goes, in fits and starts, with what seems like an intelligence of its own. I can't really force it; it isn't the automatic result of the yogic practices, but it does seem to coincide with them somewhat. The occasional use of LSD has been quite helpful no doubt, but essentially I get out of tripping only as much as I put into it beforehand. The greatest change generally comes after I have been purifying my body and exercising for an extended period of time. I try to adopt an attitude of gratitude prior to the trip, and I usually make an offering of some sort by helping out the local homeless folks with generous gifts of food and cash. Also, the experience of orgasm while tripping, especially after a period of abstinence, is extremely intense and transformative.
I feel unspeakably fortunate to be blessed with such a vast amount of sheer ecstasy, and at such a spiritual level. It never fails to leave me completely awed and deeply infused with gratitude!
Thank you GOD!!!
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